I'm posting this in the hopes that one of you (as instructors) will be able to help me understand what my newish instructor is trying to teach me.
I study Wado ryu and I am only a 2nd kyu. My original instructor (who taught me for over 4 years) retired about 6 months ago. Luckily my club is (just) big enough to have different dojos in this area (with the same syllabus and all instructors taught by our chief instructor). So I've been able to carrying on training without too much disruption. It hasn't been easy – it's a 2 hour trip on public transport (which sometimes lets me down). Also, I am very shy so joining a established class has been a bit of a personal nightmare for me. I am the youngest and the only woman in a class of about 20 guys who have all known each other for years. Actually, I can't express how open and friendly my fellow students have been.
But things with my new instructor haven't been quite as positive. I leave the class feeling like the most pathetic little worm that has ever put on a gi. He loudly berates my technique in front of the whole class. I could handle that but he never helps me correct my mistakes. All I know is all the things I am doing wrong. I try and look up things in the few books I have and on the internet but I just can't seem to get them right.
Last week, during the self-defence class, I didn't know how to get out of the hold my partner had me in. So I just tried the first thing I thought of (which didn't work). My instructor just said that that was the most pathetic thing he had ever seen and then walked away. That was the worse bit.. just walking away like that – it made me feel like he didn't think I was even worth teaching.
It's got so bad that some of the other students in my class have started sticking up for me. For example, yesterday he was shouting at me for not being able to do side kick correctly (which is very bad for a 2nd kyu – I have to agree with him there). One of the other students intervened saying that I was doing the thrust version not the snap version he teaches. I started off doing TKD and learnt the thrust way there – the snap way hurts my knees (which were injured in a car crash when I was 11). I'm so intimidated by this instructor that I couldn't say anything – I was just focusing on my breathing so that I wouldn't start to cry
I'm getting so upset as I type this which is making me feel even more pathetic.
Anyway, back to my question. What is he trying to do? Motivate me into working harder? Does he feel that I am being lazy? Or that that am not good enough to wear the belt I have? (We are all graded by the same two sensei – our chief instructor and the senior instructor. I keep on trying to remind myself that they thought I was good enough.)
Any insights would be welcome.
Thank you for your time,