A wealthy high-profile business woman was sitting at her office desk looking very depressed.
One of her colleagues asked her what was the matter and she explained that she was sad because she hadn’t had a boyfriend or sex for years. The colleague suggested that she visit an expensive Chinese sex therapist whose results were fantastic, although his methods of diagnosis may be a little on the eccentric side. The lady took down the doctors details on a scrap of paper and placed it under her keyboard. Weeks later and still without a boyfriend, she decided to take the plunge and phone the sex therapist for an appointment.

When she arrived at the therapists, the room was bare apart from an old chinese guy sitting behind a desk. The therapist looked at her and barked, “OK, take off all you crose!”
She felt very embarrassed, but remembered her friend saying that although his methods were eccentric, his diagnosis was fantastic. So she stripped off as instructed.

“Now, get down on awl foors and craw reery, reery fass to de odder side of room!”
Again she did as instructed and shuffled across the room on her hands and knees.
When she reached the far wall, the therapist barked out another set of orders.

“Turr arround and craw bak to me, reery reery fass!”
Again she complied. When she neared the desk, the therapist said, “OK, we done..get dlessed!”

He began scribbling furiously, muttering to himself and shaking his head.
When the woman had dressed, he looked at her sadly and said,
“Dis is bad, vewy vewy bad!”
“You have de worse case of “Ed Zachery Disease” dat I hab ebber ebber see!”

Distraught, the woman asked the therapist,
“What do you mean?...What is ‘Ed Zachery Disease’ ?“

The therapist replied, “You face! It rook Ed Zachery rike your arsz!”
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I am NOT homophobic... I am NOT afraid of my own house!