I think that a rule, 'no first strike' is probably most useful in that without it...it's simply too easy to justify personal aggression; one minute one is 'precluding' a possible violent attack on the street...the next instance could be popping your wife in the mouth for yelling about you being out too late.

i dont follow this thought process at all Harlan, sorry.
Accurately assessing a threat to your person and taking steps to prevent it, and attacking someone for disagreeing with you are completely different motivations.

I have pre-empted on many occasions, and dont have a problem with it. intrestingly enough, much of my pre-emption/ escalation has had to do with preventing or intervening to stop women being attacked by aggressive partners.

I sleep just fine.
Don't let the door hit ya' where the good lord split ya'