Sharon,
For the wonders of these new kata you would have to buy my new video, ive only got a couple left (except for the two boxes under the table) and dont badger your parents for them.

And don't forget the infamous "credit card swiipe" strike, introduced at around purple belt...

I have been to the high temple of eccy-thump jutsu, and found it lacking. I was most dismayed to find there was no Gi-signing production line. I think I missed the boat there.

Still, now I am up there, I think I will introduce this tradition in our region, a signature for a nominal donation, plus a reet good slap alongside the lughole from yer mam for spoiling yer nice outfit. (especially when I've buggered off to Spain with all your cash.

Although having considered the Business processes involved, I will buy an autograph stamp, as this will allow me a higher throughput.

Nudge nudge, [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif[/IMG]

Cluck cluck gibber gibber my old man's a mushroom.

Khayman,
Your reet good business sense shows you are begining to have a true T'martial mind. I am sure you will soon be recommended for at least 3rd Dan. Please rush me one box of videos, I am sure I can double my money. I am emailing my credit card details privately please forward to number 80 Quidlighter Street.
Suzie,
There was no room for gi signing at T'temple as the tables were taken up with tee-shirts, baseball caps and brollies bearing the temple logo. It was a shame that the number of people training meant that more merchandise was not available, but I understand mail order can be arranged.
I am very excited that gi signing is being introduced in this area, I will be able to charge more once I am married as a double barrelled name will require more ink.
Sharon

We could also re-introduce the karate soft toy scam. For those of you unaquainted with it, you send an instructor to a warehouse miles away to buy a quatntity of cheap soft toys in a gi for £2 each. You then buy them from the instructor at cost and at the next seminar, sell them to her students and her three children for £5 each. This is the ancient art of Phu King Chi Kee kung.
Sharon

Ok, for the unititiated, Landmine Kata No.1
was a response to the increasingly bizare kinds of kata that Mark, Kayman, Susie and I witnessed at a number of tournements. Think "ballpoint pen kata" and you are on the right track. I'm not sure which of us can be credited with the creation of this kata, but in my opinion, as Bassai Dai infers the strength of mind and body necessary to storm a fortress, this kata infers the skill, adaptability of technique and sheer bloody minded tenacity required to jump 20 foot up in the air and spread yourself over a wide area.

LAND MINE KATA NO.1

Rei
Yoi - feet together fingers in ears
1. Look down at landmine
2. Kiai (to psyche oneself up)
3. Step forward (right leg) zenkutsu dachi
4. Kiai (as mine explodes)
5. Be propelled into the air
6. Spread body parts around the dojo

Yame

Please remember that this is an advanced kata and is not to be attempted by anyone [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif[/IMG]

Regds
Mr V



[This message has been edited by MrVigerous (edited 04-14-2003).]

I'd like to protest ageenst t'denigration of t'well respected Martial (F)Artist that have been going on in t'forum. I'd leek t'point ooot that it were reet disrespectful to poke t'fun at t'greet man that brought us all the "Conflagration of Martial Arts" and lightened all our wallets in t'first place. I learned more abooot t'martial arts from that man (cash flow,merchandising,teaching crap) than I ever did off of these so called quality instroocters and i'd leek t'hear no more aboot it from all you ungreatful fookers.

Regds
Mr V

PS: Would anyone like to buy a teddy bear and a Gi with a scanned transfer of my arse ironed onto it? Last few available and don't badger your parents.

Mr. V>

I want one, what's payment method? How long does it take to ship??

I can't wait to give it a swiff kick.... [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif[/IMG] <-- innocent smile

-raccoon

Sorry Mr V. [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]
You are, of course, quite correct and will obviously want to buy my copy of what was sold to me as "t'definitive guide to martial arts. It's the only book you need"
When it arrived it was a) second hand and b) in Italian, which does not matter because there are some useful cartoon pictures.
I aspire to be just like T'Sensei, so, having paid £10 for it, I am opening the bidding at £50. Mr V gets first choice as a thank you for sharing the land mine kata with us all.
DO BADGER YOUR PARENTS THERE ARE NO MORE UNDER THE TABLE.
Sharon

Deleted by Wadowoman due to duplication caused by inability to wait a few minutes for it to appear. Sorry
Sharon

[This message has been edited by wadowoman (edited 04-15-2003).]

Third attempt at posting this, I hope it doesn't show three times.

Mr V, I would love one of your teddies but I do not have any cash left as I spent most of it at the recent t'temple grading/seminar fiasco (to add insult to injury, we received this morning notification from t'constabluary that we were photographed speeding in our attempt to distance ourselves from the whole sorry business at high speed)
The cash I had left, I have sent to Khayman for his videos.
However, I have a cunning plan, I already have several teddies in a gi and I will get Mike to photograph your arse in the uni shower next time we train there and give you a small percentage.
Raccoon, I anticipate being able to undercut Mr V by at least 2o%.
See Mr V, I, too have learnt much from t'Sensei. [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]
Sharon