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#435513 - 10/17/12 08:38 AM Daughter coming back to Karate!
Dobbersky Offline
Peace Works!!!!
Enthusiast

Registered: 03/13/06
Posts: 892
Loc: Manchester United Kingdom
All

I'm adding this to this and a few other Forums I'm on, but I know we don't all visit the same Forums.

My Daughter is coming back to Class after a few years break.
1 lesson a week and I will not be asking her to grade, just learn 1 kata which is at her level. If she wanted to grade then she asks my Friend and Assistant Instructor to grade her (She would then have to learn all the kata upto her level if she wanted to take her Black Belt).
When she left the class she reached Brown Belt 3rd Kyu so she will continue with Brown belt until whenever she wants to go for 2nd Kyu etc.

So why am I telling you this. Well last night she texted me telling me shes coming to my house (her mother and I are divorced) because she's been in a fight. Now my response after this was "Did she win???" not is she ok etc etc.
Now I was concerned about her but was it wrong to think that?
Now when she got home she told me the "full" story.
It was a typical teenage confrontation the "What you looking at?" blah blah blah. it did cool of she said and she started to walk away but the girl's sister got involved and they both attacked her. She knocked at least one tooth out of the first girl, her sister was just pulling and scratching at her from behind (dead brave).
I cleaned her cuts etc and said if you were training she wouldn't have been hit as much.

Now I been longing for her to carry on with her Karate and this is like an answer but even though I want her to be strong etc She's still my little girl if you know what I mean

Your thoughts please
_________________________
A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.

Ken

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#435514 - 10/17/12 09:28 AM Re: Daughter coming back to Karate! [Re: Dobbersky]
cxt Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 09/11/03
Posts: 5811
Loc: USA
Dobb

Glad she is "ok."

Sorry that there are people llike that in the world.

And it is because there all too many people like that, that I train.
_________________________
I did battle with ignorance today.......and ignorance won. Huey.

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#435516 - 10/17/12 01:50 PM Re: Daughter coming back to Karate! [Re: cxt]
iaibear Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/24/05
Posts: 1304
Loc: upstate New York
I am glad she did well and wants to return to Karate.

My personal opinion is anyone, your daughter included, should know a few basic techniques that work for them without having to pause and decide which is "better".

And "remain aware".

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#435518 - 10/19/12 05:42 AM Re: Daughter coming back to Karate! [Re: iaibear]
Dobbersky Offline
Peace Works!!!!
Enthusiast

Registered: 03/13/06
Posts: 892
Loc: Manchester United Kingdom
Well, the first lesson out of the way, she was happy with it. we worked on similar senarios of what happened to her.

Looking forward to seeing how she does etc.
_________________________
A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.

Ken

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#435523 - 10/24/12 07:42 AM Re: Daughter coming back to Karate! [Re: Dobbersky]
Prizewriter Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 2572
To be honest I've always found fear a poor reason for anyone to train. Fear of being attacked, of getting hurt... Fear leads to a negative approach to training.

It is much better to train because of the enjoyment of training. We'd all like people we know to stay safe, but as iaibear said better to learn a few moves and go over them once in a while rather than expect someone to commit to training long term. As I said, someone who trains purely out of fear won't last at training and will have a negative relationship with martial arts. The people I know who have stuck at MA for the long term are people who love training, not people who lived in state of perpetual fear.

Hope she's ok.
_________________________
"Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food" Hippocrates.

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#435524 - 10/24/12 08:55 AM Re: Daughter coming back to Karate! [Re: Prizewriter]
iaibear Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/24/05
Posts: 1304
Loc: upstate New York
It depends on what you are afraid of.
Speaking only for myself, I am afraid of getting old and dying.
My sincere belief is that the last twelve years, spent in a "traditional" Aikido class, have kept me alive and active. Come December, I plan on re-upping.
BTW, I did not discover Martial Arts until after retirement.

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#435526 - 10/24/12 11:57 PM Re: Daughter coming back to Karate! [Re: iaibear]
Matakiant Offline
Member

Registered: 02/08/11
Posts: 114
Fear moves people.. It's a primal thing..

I don't think I've ever met anyone who trained martial arts for self defense because they ''just enjoy it''

Obviously you have to like the training but fear isn't a bad thing all in itself.

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#435531 - 10/25/12 06:41 AM Re: Daughter coming back to Karate! [Re: Matakiant]
Dobbersky Offline
Peace Works!!!!
Enthusiast

Registered: 03/13/06
Posts: 892
Loc: Manchester United Kingdom
Thank you for your posts, OSU
_________________________
A man is but the product of his thoughts what he thinks, he becomes.

Ken

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#435533 - 10/26/12 11:36 AM Re: Daughter coming back to Karate! [Re: Dobbersky]
Leo_E_49 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 02/24/05
Posts: 4117
Loc: California
I'm glad that she's safe. The way you feel is only natural, I'm sure that in your position I'd feel the same. That said, you shouldn't take that approach in teaching self defence. Awareness and avoidance first, violence as a risky last resort.

There are many people who start training martial arts for self defence and go on to a lifetime of study. Imho, any reason to start is a good reason.
_________________________
Self Defense
(Website by Marc MacYoung, not me)

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#435534 - 10/26/12 01:33 PM Re: Daughter coming back to Karate! [Re: Leo_E_49]
Matakiant Offline
Member

Registered: 02/08/11
Posts: 114
Just to be the devils advocate here, since this is something that bothers me often.

''Awareness and avoidance''

Yes that's fine, but what many people who preach this need to realize is that something can happen regardless of the neighbourhood/establishments you frequent and the time of day.

Awareness of the two is actually more important, but violent criminals often use tactics that can get even a well trained or suspicious individual to lower their guard for a brief moment.

A common method is to simply approach politely and ask for something like a smoke, the time or something else that typically requires you to go through your pockets or purse - even if the person declines flat out saying they don't smoke, or knowing the time without having to look at their watch typically we will be less suspicious of someone approaching us civilly and politely in speech.

Also this action gets the individual close enough to initiate an attack with little chance for the victim to simply run away.

So my point is... Avoidance is somewhat common sense - you wouldn't go walking around at night wearing a suit in the worst neighbourhood in your city, would you?

Awareness of the two is mort important but as I said before experienced violent criminals will use very effective tactics to approach you to try and catch you off guard.

So teaching self defense what matters above all else is teaching self defense techniques instead of ''fighting techniques''

The difference is very big. If there's a ''fight'' we are prepared for it or at least we get some sort of warning.

A self defense technique is in response to an attack we have no warning for. Someone blitzing you, someone grabbing you from behind, grabbing a limb, threatening with a weapon and so on.

So of self defense in general ''awareness and avoidance'' is an introduction course, 1% of the formula. When we have to defend ourself we need to use our weapons wether they are effecient techniques or fast legs, being avoidant & aware wont get you out of a situation that is already occuring.

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