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#433244 - 07/12/11 05:02 PM Beaten by a girl
Markus Knopp Offline
Stranger

Registered: 07/12/11
Posts: 2
Hello,

a girl and I know each other for about 2 weeks. We met thru mutual friends. Today I’m 19 and she’s 17 by the way. She is kickboing 3 times a week since she was 10.


For awhile now our competitive side came out in our “boardgame nights.” This consisted of her mentally kicking my butt in simpsons trivia, scrabble, boggle, scattergories, checkers, and many others. I don’t know if I’m just that bad or she’s just that good, but as time has gone by her boardgame domination has gotten more lopsided. Posted Image




After a recent boardgame whuppping, she brought up that I might have to conceed her mental superiority. I told her I might be willing to conceed that if she admits that being a guy makes me the physical boss of the relationship. She paused for a moment and then joked that since shes been taking kickboxing she might surprise me! I laughed out loud at the thought of her being too physical because (although im not an athlete or kickboxer) I’m 5’10 and 193 lb while she’s a total “girlie girl” and 5’5 and 127 lb!

Neither of us would budge and we finally agreed to a “friendly match” to find out. Well our match was yesterday.

Slowly we started to box and I found myself getting bopped left and right. None of her blows seemed to really hurt but they add up. I began back peddling for defense and found myself tripping over the garden hose and down I went. She just had this smirk on her face as she asked me if I was ok and if we should stop. i just had to admit I lost to her. Of course stubbornness wouldn’t allow me to give up. She told me if I dont give up shes gonna show me what she really can do. So we squared off again and a couple minutes later she began to get better of it again. She kicked and punched me so I finally just could ask her to stop. She started as stupid dance and I had about a thousend time to admit she defeded me. And she’s had a permanent giggle!

But I find myself thinking… Am I just a wimp?? She is just a girl!!!! Does training really make that much of a difference? Or has someone heard of an equally embarrasing moment which could make me feel better about all this?

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#433245 - 07/12/11 06:06 PM Re: Beaten by a girl [Re: Markus Knopp]
Prizewriter Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 2573
First welcome to the forums. Second, good grief. I'm going to repeat your story in another way to see if it makes any more sense to you:

"I've never done any martial arts training before. I got in to a friendly match with someone who's been doing martial arts for 7 years. They beat me. Why I'm surprised at this, I don't know"

Hopefully your "beating" will get you out of this chauvinistic attitude that because me Tarzan, me beat Jane. A lot of men like to think that just because they were born with a wang means a) they know how to fight without any training b) they are vastly physically stronger than woman even if they don't have any training. I've trained in Olympic Weightlifting and Martial arts and I've met women who could a) lift more than me b) beat the crap out of me.

Honestly dude the reason many men think that they are automatically better at fighitng/are stronger than women is because of some antiquated notion that men are suppose to "protect" women, and women in turn are suppose to be "grateful" to men for this protection. Sounds like your beat down was gave you a much needed welcome to the 21st century buddy boy.

Don't look at a person's gender when deciding their skill. Look at how long and how well they have trained.


Edited by Prizewriter (07/12/11 06:11 PM)
_________________________
"Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food" Hippocrates.

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#433246 - 07/12/11 06:23 PM Re: Beaten by a girl [Re: Markus Knopp]
gojuman59 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/08/11
Posts: 224
Loc: Missouri
Even an old broken down semi-redneck from the past can see that you made some mistakes here. I used to think the way you explained in your post. Sometimes those attitudes come up again but I work to get rid of them.
Physical strength isn't the sole determiner of who wins the confrontation.The assumption that the "girly girl" is to be dominated just by virtue of your male gender is silly.If you don't believe me, let me introduce you to my very first martial arts instructor. She wasn't imposing whatsoever but....lookout.


Mark

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#433250 - 07/12/11 08:21 PM Re: Beaten by a girl [Re: gojuman59]
Zach_Zinn Offline
Veteran

Registered: 12/09/07
Posts: 1031
Loc: Olympia, WA
Hmm, well I don't know what your setup was for the "sparring"..but any 130lb woman who can smack around a guy your size like that knows a thing or two.

Instead of being upset that you lost, maybe you could ask her to teach you something? It sounds like you get on well with her, maybe this can be a turning point in your relationship, she's already taught you one lesson!

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#433252 - 07/12/11 08:41 PM Re: Beaten by a girl [Re: Zach_Zinn]
47MartialMan Offline
Member

Registered: 11/17/04
Posts: 180
Man, you are not only a whimp (you had asked), but you are a chauvinistic one. Sorry

You should have not "fought" her "game"

In other words, she had the striking advantage.

You should have rushed in, grabbed her, wrestled or threw her to the ground, and pinned her.

Stop crying here and take up a grappling martial art IMHO

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#433255 - 07/12/11 11:14 PM Re: Beaten by a girl [Re: 47MartialMan]
iaibear Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/24/05
Posts: 1304
Loc: upstate New York
Back in the day, she would have figured out she could clean you clock and backed off a bit. Men's egos can be very fragile.
But as you said she is 17. It shows.

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#433258 - 07/13/11 12:52 AM Re: Beaten by a girl [Re: iaibear]
Markus Knopp Offline
Stranger

Registered: 07/12/11
Posts: 2
Originally Posted By: iaibear
Back in the day, she would have figured out she could clean you clock and backed off a bit. Men's egos can be very fragile.
But as you said she is 17. It shows.


I also dont like what she has done after the fight. I felt really humaliated. And b**** is telling lies. She claims that I begged her for mercy! What a b****!!!

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#433259 - 07/13/11 07:16 AM Re: Beaten by a girl [Re: Markus Knopp]
Prizewriter Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 2573
I think you're taking this far too hard. If it were me I'd see the funny side of it, in the sense that if I'd no training I actually entertained the notion I'd beat someone who had training.

Here's the deal: Despite the fact we live in the 21st century, society still expects women to conform to certain standards. Just because women have the potential to bear children, society still expects them to be care givers and always have a nurturing nature and put themselves second. This is of course absurd, but sadly I still see it all the time.

When a woman doesn't put herself second, or doesn't display a constant nurturing nature, then she get's called a "B****". If a male friend with 7 years of kickboxing experience who was smaller than your had given you the same beat down and was telling people afterwards you were begging for mercy, I'll bet a) you wouldn't be as annoyed b) you wouldn't be calling him names.

Just because it was a young woman who happened to do it, and she didn't conform to what a woman is "suppose" to do (care about your feelings, let you think she needs you to protect her) to start calling her names. I hope you realize how grossly unfair and potentially harmful this is.

Personally I think it would be great to have a girlfriend who could take care of herself and was interested in martial arts. Instead of sulking that she doesn't pamper to your every emotional need every second of the day, why don't you laugh it off, ask your girlfriend to show you some stuff or take you to a class. It could be something you do together and both enjoy.
_________________________
"Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food" Hippocrates.

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#433264 - 07/13/11 12:28 PM Re: Beaten by a girl [Re: Markus Knopp]
duanew Offline
Member

Registered: 06/28/08
Posts: 326
Loc: MN
Originally Posted By: Markus Knopp

I also dont like what she has done after the fight. I felt really humaliated. And b**** is telling lies. She claims that I begged her for mercy! What a b****!!!


First off taking the letters out of a word and filling it in with asterisks doesn't spell the word but everyone still knows what you said=so it's still swearing. Grow up, watch your language, treat women with respect and when you are "beaten" by another human being-regardless of gender-instead of whining add it to the "I learned something" file.

Duane

PS-take up a grappling MA so you can take on your girlfriend...seriously!

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#433266 - 07/13/11 02:12 PM Re: Beaten by a girl [Re: Markus Knopp]
Zombie Zero Offline
Compliance & Liability
Veteran

Registered: 06/17/05
Posts: 1992
Loc: Lorton, VA
Do me a favor:

In a little over ten years, when you turn thirty, come back and re-read your post. Then send me an email, and let me know how hard you cringed.
_________________________
In my walk in the martial way, my hope is that as long as I live, I will always be a beginner.

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