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#432212 - 04/29/11 03:34 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: choonbee]
Ronin1966 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 04/26/02
Posts: 3113
Loc: East Coast, United States
Hello choonbee:

What is the different between teaching "mental toughness" (?)and just being a sexist, male-chauvanist pig I ask?

Jeff

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#432225 - 04/30/11 07:08 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: Ronin1966]
choonbee Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 195
Couldn't tell you, Ronin.
All I know is that I learn a lot in his classes, and being able to ignore his abrasiveness in order to learn gives me a feeling of being in control instead of allowing his personality to dictate my thoughts and actions.
For me, that type of experience carries over into everyday life. We all deal with people who have disagreeable personalities, and we don't always have the luxury of being able to sidestep them.
_________________________
Insert profound martial arts quotes or tough guy phrases here.

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#432228 - 04/30/11 09:28 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: choonbee]
gojuman59 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/08/11
Posts: 224
Loc: Missouri
Well said Choonbee. If this journey was all sunshine and popcorn it wouldn't do much for us. We all need to be challenged in this life.
I guess it's these bumps in the road that keep it interesting for me.

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#432237 - 04/30/11 11:50 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: choonbee]
Ronin1966 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 04/26/02
Posts: 3113
Loc: East Coast, United States
Hello choonbee:

<<All I know is that I learn a lot in his classes, and being able to ignore his abrasiveness in order to learn

Sounds like you have your answer then <massive shrug>.

If his approach FITS your "needs" keep him, but IMO (fwiw) it is NOT normal, nor on any level appropriate to humiliate, insult, demean a student. But I would gladly ask in the idential public manner in which he did so:

"Ohara sensei... are you being a sexist pig towards me for a specific reason?" Or something equally blunt but more polite, if you wished.


<<gives me a feeling of being in control

If that was HIS specific & deliberate purpose for doing so... m-a-y-b-e. But sometimes a pig is just only a pig...

Jeff

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#432238 - 04/30/11 11:54 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: gojuman59]
Ronin1966 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 04/26/02
Posts: 3113
Loc: East Coast, United States
hello gojuman59

<<If this journey was all sunshine and popcorn it wouldn't do much for us. We all need to be challenged in this life.

My classmates, life will provide that sufficently thanks. Is there some line that CANNOT be crossed IYV in this particular context?

Jeff

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#432243 - 05/01/11 08:14 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: Ronin1966]
choonbee Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 195
Ronin:

I have a feeling that you may be confusing my posts.
The "sexist pig" instructor was the one who died. That story was told to me by an instructor at my school. I've never trained under him.
The instructor that I am referring to now isn't a "sexist pig". He's simply abraisive at times, but is an excellent instructor.
The funny thing about this guy is that he's a nice person outside of the dojang, and I've only witnessed his abraisiveness during his classes.
Sorry if my posts were confusing.
_________________________
Insert profound martial arts quotes or tough guy phrases here.

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#432731 - 06/11/11 07:47 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: NewJitsu]
eagleyed Offline
Newbie

Registered: 06/08/11
Posts: 19
Hi C.

Maybe it could just be that he is intimadated by women in general. It happens! Maybe he is sexist and dosn't feel women make good martial artists. Who knows? The way i see it is for you to prove him wrong. Stand up to him. GI Jane wouldn't quit despite what they put her through. Show him your bigger and better than he might think. Don't give up on yourself and set an example to the class on what its really like to have bollocks. Chin up and good luck.
P.S
As it goes some of the best martial art students i have witnessed have been female so gender should never be an issue in that respect, if any!

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#432743 - 06/11/11 11:21 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: eagleyed]
hope Offline
Member

Registered: 07/12/09
Posts: 149
Loc: Vancouver, B.C.
By all means, try to prove him wrong if he has a bias against women (this may not be the case with your particular instructor) -- but if you think such a bias exists, keep your eyes open for a better school. Some instructors might change their minds about women given a determined example, but others just won't invest the time to help you with training. Why waste your time with a teacher if he won't train you well because he has a preconceived idea about your lack of potential?
_________________________
God grant me a good sword and no use for it. -- Polish proverb

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#432837 - 06/17/11 03:51 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: hope]
Crazy Monkey NM Offline
Stranger

Registered: 06/17/11
Posts: 2
Loc: Rio Rancho, New Mexico
Find a new school. End of story. His job as your instructor is to help you reach new heights in your martial journey. If he can't alter his leadership style for a student having difficulty, then you don't need him. I'm not saying abrasiveness is always bad; it can serve a purpose. But what you described sounds quite simply like bad coaching.
_________________________
http://www.crazymonkeynewmexico.com "Because Life Doesn't Have a Referee"

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#435999 - 09/12/13 10:37 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
MrFrank345 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 09/10/13
Posts: 5
Loc: Alexandria, Va
Hello and good day. After reading you story and experiencing the same. I am not going to bore you with another sob story. But if you ever read the book "The book of Martial Power" by Steven j Perlman. My story is very close to his.

So I would find another instructor and he does not need to berates you at all. If you are not getting the techniques that is on the instruct but if you are not practicing it is on you. But after reading I think the instructor is trying to show his or her dominance and it is not cool. Also look up David Dolbear website. There is a column I read of his about choosing a Tia Chi Teacher. I used that knowledge to pick a better teacher for myself. Well I hope this helps.

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