Well said everyone. In a street confrontation I've seen small women get in the way of big guys and talk them down. I've also seen mouthy little gals who have taken their life in their hands by mouthing off in the middle of a potential violent situation. These gals think because they are a womeen that they are untouchable. There are fellows out there who will hit a women. Pathetic, but there out there.


keep training, Mark

And other women who'll wade in too!

We had a situation here in Poland a couple of weeks ago. My school is teaching Middle Eastern students. One night a lad was at a disco and got into an argument with a woman (I think he'd trodden on her foot accidentally). Eventually she slapped him across the face... he returned the favour.

I would recommend the book "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft as well as the "Gift of Fear". It provides a detailed understanding of the thought processes of perpetrators of domestic violence.

With respect to the last scenario you described (the one with Ida), your response as a woman was perfectly valid. You didn't need to stop the guy, just needed to stall him long enough for the police to arrive. You also were concerned with the well-being of the elderly and the target of the violence. These are very different responses than a man would have had in the same situation, imo.

The perpetrator was perfectly in control of his rage (as evidenced by his sudden calm demeanor when the police arrived). He had conditioned the woman to respond to his "rages" with compliance. In his mind, the target was the one who escalated the issue by going to seek help from you. (She likely had a "hunch" that this time was different and she was in serious danger).

Being a by-stander in this sort of situation can sometimes be dangerous. But often the perpetrator is aware that he doesn't want to be caught and also that he can always punish his target later when there are no witnesses.

You probably saved the target from serious physical harm by intervening the way you did. In that respect, the confrontation with this man was successful. No one was hurt, the police intervened, and hopefully the target was able to access services which helped her escape from this potentially fatal domestic violence situation.

Just a little about me: I am a martial artist and MA instructor, a self-defense instructor and a novelist.

I'm still not exactly clear what your crit groups saw as the problem with your character or her actions. Maybe you can clarify their specific responses.

In female-women self defense, the methods and ideals have to differ than that of male self defense

Disagree completely. The ideal is plainly stated in the definition - defence of yourself. There can be no other ideal without it ceasing to be self defence.

I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this.

I agree. Defending one's self is what it is. Keeping yourself from being harmed by others.Period.

Mark

I can understand what was meant with the statement of ideals and methods being different for women. The motivation of the perpetrators is different with female targets than male targets. So the ideal response in a given encounter might be very different.

This is especially true in situations involving domestic violence, where the ideal response should take into consideration the female target's long-term safety, not just a response to a specific encounter. She might conceivably allow herself to be harmed in some cases; she might not fight physically; she might give in.

Self defense is self defense. Women may perhaps have some advantages over men in being able to stop conflicts from happening but when it gets to the physical part of self defense it's all the same.

The only problem women have is in physical strength but I know some women who are still quite womanly and much stronger than average Joe when it comes to defending yourself.

The outcome (defend) is the same. But as I stated;
the methods and ideals have to differ than that of male self defense



I have attended and hosted defense seminars. Female defense seminars are different

Thanks. I see you do understand