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#418480 - 04/20/09 02:11 PM Domestic Violence Help and Self Defense
donald223 Offline
Stranger

Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 2
Loc: Ohio
The rate of domestic violence crimes in the US is rising because of the economy spiraling downward and there is no site of it slowing. I have found a program that helps fight domestic violence called the National Domestic Violence Hot Line 1-800-799-SAFE(7233)Ladies you need to protect yourself. Learn self defense techniques or get a self defense weapon. There are way too many of you dying as a direct result to domestic violence. You need to do something. If buying a self defense weapon is not in you means than pack your bags and get out!! He is not going to change unless you let him know you are not going to put up with it and that he needs counseling.
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Self Defense Weapons

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#418481 - 04/21/09 02:52 AM Re: Domestic Violence Help and Self Defense [Re: donald223]
karl314285 Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/09
Posts: 326
Loc: The Matrix, Serif is Teacher
Hi,

for Ladies i always recommend OC spray with the UV identifier, buy 2-3 (some these days come so as a refill container can be bought and inserted.

Why 2 - 3? PRACTICE...use 1 or 2 against a wall at different distances in various windage so you know distance vs. spread. Practice without container "press and spray" till its habit.

REALIZE 2 things- 1.)when GPD had me over we maced each other, yes it was so long ago OC wasnt here yet, and some of the officers had it down so that after I maced them I still got pounded...lesson, spray the mf till your able to run and go to a public place while calling 911 (thus the UV portion spray...dont wash off and definitely ID's the Perp. calling 911 before they do looks better in court for you.

2.) Any weapon you are not INTIMATELY used to can AND will be taken from you and used against you...so Knives and Guns should be OUT unless you already have training, extensive training and realize that even with a concealed weapons permit, YOU PULL A GUN OR KNIFE that means you ARE going to use it with LETHAL FORCE..no if ands or buts, these weapons are not to threaten or scare but KILL.

in short... OC spray, practice, always have it, spray and run to a public place and call 911 before they do....

Any one back me up on this???

-Karl. Peace.


Edited by karl314285 (04/21/09 03:17 AM)

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#418482 - 04/21/09 03:28 AM Re: Domestic Violence Help and Self Defense [Re: donald223]
drgndrew Offline
< a god, > a man.
Enthusiast

Registered: 01/09/05
Posts: 599
Loc: Toowoomba, Qld, Australia
Quote:

If buying a self defense weapon is not in you means than pack your bags and get out!!




I wish it was as easy as this, but sadly it isn't. domestic violence is not like a sex attack or a mugging of a woman. It involves a lot deeper and more powerful psychological dynamics.

I don't have time to go into it now But might mention a few things later.

Not discounting the advice, any help a victim can get is worth mentioning. But often those on the outside of domestic violence just doesn't get why they don't just leave, we have to address these issues before the victim would even consider fighting back.
_________________________
Sumo Pacis (Choose Peace)

With Honour in Bushido
Drew Guest
www.ToowoombaSelfDefence.websyte.com.au
Bushi Dojos Self Protection
Toowoomba Self Defence

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#418483 - 04/21/09 03:48 AM Re: Domestic Violence Help and Self Defense [Re: drgndrew]
karl314285 Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/09
Posts: 326
Loc: The Matrix, Serif is Teacher
Hi, too true, vics of abuse will often defend the abuser...

I worked with the Deputy Chief of Police during the gainesville serial killings and have a JPEG of 4 pages of His wisdom...I am no computer wiz, cant type that muc would take forever....drgndrew do you know how I can transfer this info to a post...it may not address the psychology of the abused but it has valuable tips for Women living alone and males, as well as other excellent info...I still have the hard copies....how can I copy and paste this mass of Info??? It is beneficial.

-Karl. Peace.
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do not try to spork the post, for that is impossible, only realize there is no post to spork

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#418484 - 04/21/09 04:26 AM Re: Domestic Violence Help and Self Defense [Re: karl314285]
BrianS Offline
Higher rank than you
Professional Poster

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 5959
Loc: Northwest Arkansas
I wish more women would train in the use of firearms. There would be much less abuse.

Once news of women defending themselves and being vindicated hit the news, maybe some abusers would learn to hold their temper.
_________________________
The2nd ammendment, it makes all the others possible. <///<




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#418485 - 04/21/09 04:50 AM Re: Domestic Violence Help and Self Defense [Re: BrianS]
karl314285 Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/09
Posts: 326
Loc: The Matrix, Serif is Teacher
Hi,

The psychology of the abuser and abused is quite complex and the Police can do nothing if the abused spouse denies or even hides. I know this as a fact as I have called LEO's to three spousal abuse cases where the Woman admitted to me what was happening.

In all 3 cases I met the Officers and explained what was told to me, in each case they could do nothing as the Woman denied any abuse (one turned off all the lights and refused to answer the door. two were repeat calls but I was informed that unless the Abused filed charges there was nothing they could do but wright up a report.

This type of psychology is deep and goes perhaps to childhood abuse...this is a good thread but perhaps cannot address the situation properly...

If a vic of abuse wont file charges how on earth will she be able to use a GUN.

A more pertinent address would be to those Women at risk of rape and home invasion, even as far as addressing how to respond to the threat of gun point kidnapping by a twisted rapist/killer.

I dont believe a thread on a MA post will convert the needy abused Woman to become empowered, that is a family/counselor intervention situation...

and again arming a victim of abuse (their psychology dictates a need of the abuser) with a tool designed only for one thing, Killing, is a bad idea as they probably will not use it but have it taken and used on them.

-Karl. Peace.
_________________________
do not try to spork the post, for that is impossible, only realize there is no post to spork

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#418486 - 04/21/09 10:43 AM Re: Domestic Violence Help and Self Defense [Re: donald223]
Neko456 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 3260
Loc: Midwest City, Ok, USA
i agree with most of the posters that doemstic crimes are gone crazy maybe its the same its just that news is reported not just in your area as in the past but nation and world wide in seconds.

I agree that defensive sprays, weapon, self defense skills and or protection dog are not catch all but they are a good start. I'd also suggest video camera around you home shared with family members most can set this up yourself. And though the above prevention are not full proof I garantee that a predator would selct a lone woman walking in a dark alley by herself then one that looked aware walking a GSD or one that checked the magazine of her S&W 9. Or even had a flashlight. Self defense skill wise I know a husband that calls out to his wife when he comes in late from work to give her a heads up. He stated he play attacked her while she had ended her shower with a towle on, she almost choke him to death with that towel. Though she said she noticed it was her husband while she was throwing him she just coudn't stop. I like Brenda she is a well oiled machine and one of my best Nidans she use to fight her brothers. So it all helps and she has it all h2h,dogs, flashlights, monitoring system, spray and 40 S&W. Hubby says they can talk out any disagreement. Tell me carrying a big stick don't work. Thouggh I feel that if he decided to attacker he knows he'd have to bring it so it would be vicious or he'd get choked out ;-).

But like me the best advantage is awareness and ahving an ideas of the possibilites over all the above mentioned. Checking that back seat before entering your car should be automatic, woman or man.


Edited by Neko456 (04/21/09 10:48 AM)
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#418487 - 04/21/09 12:58 PM Re: Domestic Violence Help and Self Defense [Re: drgndrew]
donald223 Offline
Stranger

Registered: 04/20/09
Posts: 2
Loc: Ohio
Quote:

Quote:

If buying a self defense weapon is not in you means than pack your bags and get out!!




I wish it was as easy as this, but sadly it isn't. domestic violence is not like a sex attack or a mugging of a woman. It involves a lot deeper and more powerful psychological dynamics.

I don't have time to go into it now But might mention a few things later.

Not discounting the advice, any help a victim can get is worth mentioning. But often those on the outside of domestic violence just doesn't get why they don't just leave, we have to address these issues before the victim would even consider fighting back.




In answer to this I myself am a domestic violence victim....yes, it happens to men to. I stayed in an abusive relationship for 2 years. I know it is hard for a victim to leave. Not only from fear but, the illusion of love. Many victims believe they love their abuser too much or the abuser loves them and they don't want to hurt them. They think there is no escape or there are children involved which makes things even more difficult. Believe me I know.I am not saying it is easy to just pack up and leave. I know it wasn't for me. But, lets be realistic here. Nothing in life worth doing is easy.
_________________________
Self Defense Weapons

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#418488 - 04/22/09 08:54 PM Re: Domestic Violence Help and Self Defense [Re: donald223]
Su_Ericksen Offline
Stranger

Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 1
Loc: Midwest USA
Agreed, each gender can be a victim of domestic violence. Usually its a female due to the natural physical size of women and the fact that men are inherently more aggressive- this is not an insult, guys, you were made that way for a reason. Just as women were made smaller for a reason. Women can become strong and men less aggressive, or at least more in control of themselves. But those who do abuse the people they supposedly love are generally well, animals- either made that way from their own abusive childhoods or simply witnessing the abuse of one of their parents. If you should become involved in such a relationship and fail to recognize it for what it is until you're in deep, then, yes getting out is difficult and sadly sometimes, well, impossible. The abuser considers the victim to be his/her property and would rather kill and die than to lose them.
Early recognition is the best way to avoid this situation. There are many signals an abuser will give out at even the first meeting when he/she seems so perfect. Know these signs and watch for them.Refusal to accept NO for an answer- even offering a drink. Making unsolicited promises, loan sharking, offering too many details. Always trust you own intuition!
_________________________
Su Ericksen http://www.selfdefense-4-women.com/

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#418489 - 04/23/09 01:24 AM Re: Domestic Violence Help and Self Defense [Re: Su_Ericksen]
drgndrew Offline
< a god, > a man.
Enthusiast

Registered: 01/09/05
Posts: 599
Loc: Toowoomba, Qld, Australia
Quote:


Early recognition is the best way to avoid this situation. There are many signals an abuser will give out at even the first meeting when he/she seems so perfect. Know these signs and watch for them.Refusal to accept NO for an answer- even offering a drink. Making unsolicited promises, loan sharking, offering too many details. Always trust you own intuition!




I see we enjoy the same reading material,

-------

There is a lot of stuff I want to say about domestic violence and the psychology involved in it. but I don't have time just now.

One thing I would say to look out for is controlling behaviours, the common theme in domestic violence is the control factor (related to Power, power is the ability to control). if these behaviours start to manifest (ie controlling your money, what you wear , who you see where you go etc, etc) then that should be your early warning system.
_________________________
Sumo Pacis (Choose Peace)

With Honour in Bushido
Drew Guest
www.ToowoombaSelfDefence.websyte.com.au
Bushi Dojos Self Protection
Toowoomba Self Defence

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