Hello choonbee:

What is the different between teaching "mental toughness" (?)and just being a sexist, male-chauvanist pig I ask?

Jeff

Couldn't tell you, Ronin.
All I know is that I learn a lot in his classes, and being able to ignore his abrasiveness in order to learn gives me a feeling of being in control instead of allowing his personality to dictate my thoughts and actions.
For me, that type of experience carries over into everyday life. We all deal with people who have disagreeable personalities, and we don't always have the luxury of being able to sidestep them.

Well said Choonbee. If this journey was all sunshine and popcorn it wouldn't do much for us. We all need to be challenged in this life.
I guess it's these bumps in the road that keep it interesting for me.

Hello choonbee:

<<All I know is that I learn a lot in his classes, and being able to ignore his abrasiveness in order to learn

Sounds like you have your answer then <massive shrug>.

If his approach FITS your "needs" keep him, but IMO (fwiw) it is NOT normal, nor on any level appropriate to humiliate, insult, demean a student. But I would gladly ask in the idential public manner in which he did so:

"Ohara sensei... are you being a sexist pig towards me for a specific reason?" Or something equally blunt but more polite, if you wished.


<<gives me a feeling of being in control

If that was HIS specific & deliberate purpose for doing so... m-a-y-b-e. But sometimes a pig is just only a pig...

Jeff

hello gojuman59

<<If this journey was all sunshine and popcorn it wouldn't do much for us. We all need to be challenged in this life.

My classmates, life will provide that sufficently thanks. Is there some line that CANNOT be crossed IYV in this particular context?

Jeff

Ronin:

I have a feeling that you may be confusing my posts.
The "sexist pig" instructor was the one who died. That story was told to me by an instructor at my school. I've never trained under him.
The instructor that I am referring to now isn't a "sexist pig". He's simply abraisive at times, but is an excellent instructor.
The funny thing about this guy is that he's a nice person outside of the dojang, and I've only witnessed his abraisiveness during his classes.
Sorry if my posts were confusing.

Hi C.

Maybe it could just be that he is intimadated by women in general. It happens! Maybe he is sexist and dosn't feel women make good martial artists. Who knows? The way i see it is for you to prove him wrong. Stand up to him. GI Jane wouldn't quit despite what they put her through. Show him your bigger and better than he might think. Don't give up on yourself and set an example to the class on what its really like to have bollocks. Chin up and good luck.
P.S
As it goes some of the best martial art students i have witnessed have been female so gender should never be an issue in that respect, if any!

By all means, try to prove him wrong if he has a bias against women (this may not be the case with your particular instructor) -- but if you think such a bias exists, keep your eyes open for a better school. Some instructors might change their minds about women given a determined example, but others just won't invest the time to help you with training. Why waste your time with a teacher if he won't train you well because he has a preconceived idea about your lack of potential?

Find a new school. End of story. His job as your instructor is to help you reach new heights in your martial journey. If he can't alter his leadership style for a student having difficulty, then you don't need him. I'm not saying abrasiveness is always bad; it can serve a purpose. But what you described sounds quite simply like bad coaching.