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#405940 - 08/29/08 09:36 AM Difficulties with a new instructor
WadoNovice Offline
Newbie

Registered: 10/10/05
Posts: 9
Loc: England
Hi everyone,

I'm posting this in the hopes that one of you (as instructors) will be able to help me understand what my newish instructor is trying to teach me.

I study Wado ryu and I am only a 2nd kyu. My original instructor (who taught me for over 4 years) retired about 6 months ago. Luckily my club is (just) big enough to have different dojos in this area (with the same syllabus and all instructors taught by our chief instructor). So I've been able to carrying on training without too much disruption. It hasn't been easy it's a 2 hour trip on public transport (which sometimes lets me down). Also, I am very shy so joining a established class has been a bit of a personal nightmare for me. I am the youngest and the only woman in a class of about 20 guys who have all known each other for years. Actually, I can't express how open and friendly my fellow students have been.

But things with my new instructor haven't been quite as positive. I leave the class feeling like the most pathetic little worm that has ever put on a gi. He loudly berates my technique in front of the whole class. I could handle that but he never helps me correct my mistakes. All I know is all the things I am doing wrong. I try and look up things in the few books I have and on the internet but I just can't seem to get them right.

Last week, during the self-defence class, I didn't know how to get out of the hold my partner had me in. So I just tried the first thing I thought of (which didn't work). My instructor just said that that was the most pathetic thing he had ever seen and then walked away. That was the worse bit.. just walking away like that it made me feel like he didn't think I was even worth teaching.

It's got so bad that some of the other students in my class have started sticking up for me. For example, yesterday he was shouting at me for not being able to do side kick correctly (which is very bad for a 2nd kyu I have to agree with him there). One of the other students intervened saying that I was doing the thrust version not the snap version he teaches. I started off doing TKD and learnt the thrust way there the snap way hurts my knees (which were injured in a car crash when I was 11). I'm so intimidated by this instructor that I couldn't say anything I was just focusing on my breathing so that I wouldn't start to cry

I'm getting so upset as I type this which is making me feel even more pathetic.

Anyway, back to my question. What is he trying to do? Motivate me into working harder? Does he feel that I am being lazy? Or that that am not good enough to wear the belt I have? (We are all graded by the same two sensei our chief instructor and the senior instructor. I keep on trying to remind myself that they thought I was good enough.)

Any insights would be welcome.

Thank you for your time,

C

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#405941 - 08/29/08 10:10 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
ThomsonsPier Offline
Member

Registered: 06/24/04
Posts: 475
Loc: Reading, UK
I deleted my first response to this, as it was doing little but expressing loathing for your instructor.

I'm not an instructor, but have to say that he sounds like a complete [word I'm not prepared to use on a public forum]. Have you spoken to him at all, or only received his sorry attempts at teaching?
_________________________
ThomsonsPier

War. It's fan-tastic!

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#405942 - 08/29/08 10:58 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
NewJitsu Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/06
Posts: 130
Loc: Midlands, UK
What goes around, comes around, and I have no doubt one day someone will turn around and lamp this instructor. 'Tough love' is one thing but it sounds as if your guy is an out-and-out bully. Throw in the 2hr trip getting there and I'd seriously consider switching styles / arts to a better school that's closer to you.

You could of course take him to one side and directly ask him why he's behaving like a jerk, but if it's already upsetting you, why bother? And could you carry on training even if he apologised? I don't think that kind of teacher would ever get back my respect and if you don't have the respect of your students, how effective a teacher are you going to be?

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#405943 - 08/29/08 11:12 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
JasonM Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 03/17/05
Posts: 2502
Hi C,

I am not sure how to respond. I do know that it ain't right and he is wrong for abusing you. You probably have to decide if you want to stay and take it or move on. If you really want to stay then I would take him aside and ask what is up. The truth of the matter is you are paying himn for instruction not abuse. Basically he works for you and you don't have to take that. Of course don't presend it that way. Have you tried to ask the other students why he is the way he is? Is it just with you?

It is a hard situation you are in but stay strong and decide if you want to continute with this guy or move on.

Again, no instructor should belittle a student in that manner.

J
_________________________
90 percent of good abs is your nutrition

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#405944 - 08/29/08 11:22 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: JasonM]
MattJ Offline
Free Rhinoplasty!
Prolific

Registered: 11/25/04
Posts: 15634
Loc: York PA. USA
WN -

You could try to talk to the instructor, and let him know that his manner is not helpful for your training. If that doesn't work, you could try to go up the chain of command, and let the local organization leader know.

Otherwise, your only options are:

* Deal with it
* Find a new school

Personally, the instructor sounds like a jackass to me. Good luck.
_________________________
"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

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#405945 - 08/29/08 01:52 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
BrianS Offline
Higher rank than you
Professional Poster

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 5959
Loc: Northwest Arkansas
Everyone is right here.

My advice would be to find a new instructor.

An instructor should never behave that way.
_________________________
The2nd ammendment, it makes all the others possible. <///<




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#405946 - 08/29/08 02:04 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: BrianS]
Anonymous
Unregistered


I'd have to agree with everyone else, this instructor sounds like an ass!(and is OBVIOUSLY, NOT an "instructor") their purpose is to teach/coach, not to ONLY critique and belittle. Find another school, where you study is a matter of choice, I suggest you make one,....leave!

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#405947 - 08/29/08 04:59 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor
WadoNovice Offline
Newbie

Registered: 10/10/05
Posts: 9
Loc: England
Thanks for all your responses. You have all given me a lot to think about. Though I must say that I have been surprised by the content. I just find it difficult to believe that my instructor is at fault. The other students in the class like him and they are all very impressive karateka. So he obviously can teach.

So, I can't help thinking that there must be something very wrong with me. Maybe I am wasting his time. I know that I have reached the highest grade I could ever hope to achieve. But I still would dearly like to improve on the techniques I have learnt up to this point. I guess that isn't really the right attitude.

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#405948 - 08/29/08 06:45 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
BrianS Offline
Higher rank than you
Professional Poster

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 5959
Loc: Northwest Arkansas
Quote:

Thanks for all your responses. You have all given me a lot to think about. Though I must say that I have been surprised by the content. I just find it difficult to believe that my instructor is at fault. The other students in the class like him and they are all very impressive karateka. So he obviously can teach.





Sounds like he can teach those he feels have the most potential and to hell with everyone else. Do you think it's because you're female?

Quote:

So, I can't help thinking that there must be something very wrong with me. Maybe I am wasting his time. I know that I have reached the highest grade I could ever hope to achieve. But I still would dearly like to improve on the techniques I have learnt up to this point. I guess that isn't really the right attitude.




There are good instructors out there, just find one that is willing to share knowledge with everyone,not just his kronies.
_________________________
The2nd ammendment, it makes all the others possible. <///<




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#405949 - 08/30/08 07:06 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
NewJitsu Offline
Member

Registered: 12/14/06
Posts: 130
Loc: Midlands, UK
Quote:

So, I can't help thinking that there must be something very wrong with me.




This line alone is a good enough reason to leave. Martial Arts is supposed to improve one's self confidence, not diminish it. It shouldn't matter that he gets on with other students - bullies have friends too.

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#405950 - 08/30/08 11:46 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: NewJitsu]
JasonM Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 03/17/05
Posts: 2502
Quote:

It shouldn't matter that he gets on with other students - bullies have friends too.




Amen!

It ain't you fault. Trust and believe that.
_________________________
90 percent of good abs is your nutrition

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#405951 - 08/30/08 07:23 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: JasonM]
TKD_X Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 786
Loc: HERE
Talk to him. if he doesn't seem to understand or care, and you want to stick with your organization, follow MattJ's advice and find out who his boss is. perhaps the chief instructor you mentioned (the one who graded you) would have something to say about it.
_________________________
Are you ok!?!? It was an accident! No really! I promise!

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#405952 - 08/30/08 11:28 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: TKD_X]
JasonM Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 03/17/05
Posts: 2502
I think one has to be careful going over an instructors head. Especially if she or someone plans on staying at the school. Some people dont' take it well when ya go over there head. I know it ain't right but that is just the way people are.

But if you really want to stay, do what you have to.
_________________________
90 percent of good abs is your nutrition

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#405953 - 08/31/08 12:26 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: JasonM]
TKD_X Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 786
Loc: HERE
i see what you mean Jason. well i see it like this if WN does nothing, she will keep receiving verbal abuse, which will probably end in her leaving. If she talks to the instructor and it doesn't help, she'll probably end up leaving. If she talks to her instrutor's senior, maybe he can do something. if not she'll end up leaving. otherwise, where's the solution that allows her to stay at the school? that is why i said to try talking to the instructor first.

-TKD_X
_________________________
Are you ok!?!? It was an accident! No really! I promise!

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#405954 - 08/31/08 12:57 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: TKD_X]
JasonM Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 03/17/05
Posts: 2502
I agree..It is a hard situation. I guess it boils down to if she wants to stay or not.
_________________________
90 percent of good abs is your nutrition

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#405955 - 09/01/08 04:46 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
ThomsonsPier Offline
Member

Registered: 06/24/04
Posts: 475
Loc: Reading, UK
Quote:

I just find it difficult to believe that my instructor is at fault.



I used to think like this; not in any martial arts school, just life in general. I later realised that just because someone's in a position of authority doesn't mean he's not an arse.


Edited by ThomsonsPier (09/01/08 04:48 AM)
_________________________
ThomsonsPier

War. It's fan-tastic!

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#405956 - 09/12/08 02:53 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
Jeff_G Offline
Member

Registered: 04/15/06
Posts: 222
Loc: Midwest
OK, let us take a look at this from a couple of different angles.

First, you.
Quit buying into his nonsense! I want you to stop thinking of yourself as pathetic, effective immediately.
Yes, you do have a responsibility to learn. That is your portion of the teacher-student arrangement. But if the information is not presented to you in the first place, you don't get to do your part.

Now, him.
He is a jerk.
He doesn't understand the simple basics of teaching.
Even if he has some unspoken problem with you, he has to hold up his end and teach.

Now, the school.
The owner, chief instructor, whoever want to know about this. Chances are really good that you are not the only person on the stinky end of his teaching stick.

Now, me.
As an instructor, it was my responsibility to correct student's technique all the time. Over the years, I developed a process to make it work out better.
Every time I made a negative comment on a student's technique, I considered it as if it was a small cut or opened something with that person. Naturally, I would make the needed correction on the spot and then continue my cruising around the room. Eventually, I made a point of stopping back at that student to close the issue by seeing how they are progressing. Some sort of positive comment usually followed, if only to encouraage them to keep trying and commend the effort.

Of course everyone has their own teaching style, but it would never occour to me to belittle anyone, much less be a party to a student beating themself up.

Go talk to the guy. Like, what's the worst that can happen, he starts treating you badly?

Give him one chance to straighten up. After that, talk to the boss.

Good luck and keep us posted on how this works out.

Jeff G.

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#405957 - 09/12/08 12:05 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
Ives Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 04/25/05
Posts: 691
Loc: the Netherlands
If your instructor make a comment on your 'failing' technique, ask him a way to improve. It's his job.
Tell him, that you can't improve if he doesn't say how to.

If that won't work, talk to his boss (?chief instructor?). If he still doesn't change his approach in teaching. Find an other school. There are lots of Wado school in England.

Good luck.
_________________________
Ives

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#405958 - 09/12/08 09:23 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
Ronin1966 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 04/26/02
Posts: 3116
Loc: East Coast, United States
Hello C:

Is this individual FAIR and consistant with his approach or are you the only person with a target on your back?

Sounds like the instructor is a seriously, pompass jerk to be polite about it. Might well be the best teacher in the known universe, but myself I don't need to be humiliated, insulted, berated... I can do that without paying for that priveledge!

If thats the approach you want to learn by all means enjoy it... thankfully there are far better/more mature approaches.

There are some who will thrive in hades... but I don't want to train there myself.



Jeff

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#405959 - 09/15/08 11:44 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: Ronin1966]
WadoNovice Offline
Newbie

Registered: 10/10/05
Posts: 9
Loc: England
A big thank you to everyone who took the time to answer my posts. All the replies have helped me get enough confidence to realise that I don't really deserve this kind of treatment.

So I just thought that I'd post a quick update. I still go to his class but only once a week A few weeks ago, a 1st Kyu that I had never met before (he's been off with an injury) came to class. He's also privileged enough to get the same sort of treatment from our instructor as I do. We've sort of started our own remedial class in a corner. It's also nice to know that it's not just me. So that's an improvement.

I have also looked around and found another school that is associated with my club. I go to that once a week. It's a real trek from where I live but worth every hour I spend travelling.

It's hard to explain how rejuvenated my interest/love for Karate has become over the last couple of weeks.

Thanks again for all the advice,

C
_________________________
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. --Mark Twain

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#405960 - 09/22/08 09:11 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
Reiki Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 3400
Loc: MiddleEarth
The instructor sounds like a total jerk. I bet he's a young instructor with a chip on his shoulder about women.

I'm sorry but it is his responsibility to TEACH you and if he isn't teaching the students properly then he is at fault.

If a technique doesn't work for one of my students I try to find other ways until I find something that will help them learn to do it.

Just because he's there in front of the class does not mean he has the right to belittle and degrade the students performances. Teaching Martial arts is about helping each other to learn, and being respectful of peoples abilities, not showing off in front of the class and making students lives a misery.

Keep asking him to show you how to do it properly, and if he won't or can't help you then I'd leave and go to a dojo that will treat you with respect. You will go much further and enjoy it while you are doing it.

HE needs to learn how to be a better teacher IMHO. He wouldn't last 5 minutes in my dojo with an attitude like that!

You stand up tall and talk to him. Be brave, you can do it!

Tell him from me that all students need respect, if he doesn't get it then you know what to do.

In my experience some male instructors are not good at working with us women, so they try to make things hard so that the women leave so they don't have to cope with it, whereas they need to grow up themselves and get a life.
_________________________
Allow me to acquaint you with my friends Mr Jab and Mr Cross...

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#432105 - 04/16/11 05:03 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: Reiki]
choonbee Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 195
Old thread, but it reminded me of a story that one of my instructors told to me after a class one night recently.
Our school had an instructor back in the day who treated this one female student very harshly for no reason.
Everyone liked the instructor, and nobody had any problem with him except the one student.
But she wouldn't quit. She kept at it, and wouldn't back down.
Today she is a 5th dan black belt, and one of the best instructors at our school.
The male instructor had a brain hemmorage and died suddenly at the age of 52.
_________________________
Insert profound martial arts quotes or tough guy phrases here.

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#432106 - 04/16/11 05:30 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: choonbee]
choonbee Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 195
We have an old instructor at our school who teaches a class on forms every other saturday morning. He's a 7th dan black belt.
His classes are great, and I learn a lot from them, but his personality is a bit harsh.
I think that he comes from the old school, when certain instructors wanted to be feared, with the intent that his students would try harder, ie: scare them into good karate.
At first I disliked the guy, and considered dropping his class, but even though his instructing style is rough, he's right on when he corrects me, and I do find myself thinking of his advice when I practice on my own.
I spoke with the owner of the school about it, and he laughed.
He explained that his bark is much worse than his bite, and if I could get past the personality, I would learn a lot.
He also explained that this instructor uses that approach to find out which students are willing to work through things in order to learn. In other words, he's trying to instill mental toughness in us along with the physical aspects of karate.
Now I find that I look foward to his classes because he brings a lot of knoweledge to the table, and I feel like I'm being challenged.
I guess that sometimes you have to have a thick skin, and give a little to get a lot.
That type of training isn't for everyone, but it motivates me to bring my A-game when I come to his class.


Edited by choonbee (04/16/11 05:32 PM)
_________________________
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#432116 - 04/18/11 12:11 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: choonbee]
gojuman59 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/08/11
Posts: 224
Loc: Missouri
I tend to look at an abrasive instructor as a test of my mettle as a martial artist. I guess that if he is teaching good stuff, with some attitude one should see it as an opportunity to build charactor. This easy for me to say as a person on the outside looking in. I just think that life is full of tests that while being hard, they make us stronger in the long run.
I guess my point is that abrasive or not this 7th dan is probably great at kata.

good luck choonbee,
Mark

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#432119 - 04/18/11 05:14 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: gojuman59]
choonbee Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 195
Thanks, Mark.
He's the best teacher of kata in our school. In fact, all of his classes are on katas, and the other instructors, and most black belts attend his classes regularly.
After I became comfortable with my first kata, and did it to his satisfaction, he asked me, since I will be tested in a few weeks, (white to orange belt) if I had learned the second kata yet.
I said no, and was told to bow out and sit.
My gut told me that I had better know something about the second kata before I came to his next class. I had a feeling that he wouldn't let me bow out the next time around, so I got with a friend from class, and he worked through it with me on a few occasions over the next two weeks until I was familar with it.
Sure enough, I was made to do that kata at his next class, and did pretty well. I have 6 months to perfect it before my next test, (orange to blue belt), but his prodding made me get off of my ass and learn it.
P.S.: In case you were curious, our school doesn't have a yellow belt rank for adults. They make you stay at white belt longer than most other schools, (usually six months minimum), Then they test us for orange belt.


Edited by choonbee (04/18/11 05:20 PM)
_________________________
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#432120 - 04/18/11 06:21 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: choonbee]
gojuman59 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/08/11
Posts: 224
Loc: Missouri
Keep on training choonbee!! Your school sounds a little like mine in that we don't have yellow belts either. In our school you go from white to white w/green stripe to white w/2 green stripe to white with 3 green stripes then you test for green belt. Let me tell you all that time with a white belt kept me humble and was a big motivator to move on to my green belt.
I better close for now because it is time to go to class. Yeah.

Mark

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#432123 - 04/19/11 05:27 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: gojuman59]
choonbee Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 195
Originally Posted By: gojuman59
Let me tell you all that time with a white belt kept me humble and was a big motivator to move on to my green belt.


That's exactly how I feel about it, Mark.
_________________________
Insert profound martial arts quotes or tough guy phrases here.

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#432129 - 04/19/11 12:43 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: choonbee]
gojuman59 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/08/11
Posts: 224
Loc: Missouri
Speaking of instructors, I sure am pleased with mine.He is so patient with our class.I can't imagine having to field some of the questions that come up in class.Believe me, I have asked some of the dumbest questions. You know the kind. The ones that after you say it you have the right answer in your head and wished that you kept your mouth shut. Oops. Any way last night in class my sensei dropped the bomb on us. WHA-BAM!! He said that three of us are going to be testing on May 7. We were looking around and I guess I'm testing for 5th kyu.
This certainly puts training into high gear. In our school the testing for rank are grueling, but when finished are so rewarding.
There will be more to come on this. This should be interesting in that this will be the first time that I will be the highest rank to be tested. I'm not so sure that I like that. I guess I will have to have some courage as I'm not particulary a good tester. NERVOUS NELLIE!

see you later, Mark

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#432138 - 04/19/11 04:59 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: gojuman59]
choonbee Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 195
Good luck with your test, Mark.
_________________________
Insert profound martial arts quotes or tough guy phrases here.

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#432195 - 04/27/11 06:52 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: choonbee]
Reiki Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 3400
Loc: MiddleEarth
I wonder how our original poster is doing now. Good to see there are some keen students still here, keep up the great work guys and train hard!
_________________________
Allow me to acquaint you with my friends Mr Jab and Mr Cross...

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#432212 - 04/29/11 03:34 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: choonbee]
Ronin1966 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 04/26/02
Posts: 3116
Loc: East Coast, United States
Hello choonbee:

What is the different between teaching "mental toughness" (?)and just being a sexist, male-chauvanist pig I ask?

Jeff

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#432225 - 04/30/11 07:08 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: Ronin1966]
choonbee Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 195
Couldn't tell you, Ronin.
All I know is that I learn a lot in his classes, and being able to ignore his abrasiveness in order to learn gives me a feeling of being in control instead of allowing his personality to dictate my thoughts and actions.
For me, that type of experience carries over into everyday life. We all deal with people who have disagreeable personalities, and we don't always have the luxury of being able to sidestep them.
_________________________
Insert profound martial arts quotes or tough guy phrases here.

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#432228 - 04/30/11 09:28 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: choonbee]
gojuman59 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/08/11
Posts: 224
Loc: Missouri
Well said Choonbee. If this journey was all sunshine and popcorn it wouldn't do much for us. We all need to be challenged in this life.
I guess it's these bumps in the road that keep it interesting for me.

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#432237 - 04/30/11 11:50 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: choonbee]
Ronin1966 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 04/26/02
Posts: 3116
Loc: East Coast, United States
Hello choonbee:

<<All I know is that I learn a lot in his classes, and being able to ignore his abrasiveness in order to learn

Sounds like you have your answer then <massive shrug>.

If his approach FITS your "needs" keep him, but IMO (fwiw) it is NOT normal, nor on any level appropriate to humiliate, insult, demean a student. But I would gladly ask in the idential public manner in which he did so:

"Ohara sensei... are you being a sexist pig towards me for a specific reason?" Or something equally blunt but more polite, if you wished.


<<gives me a feeling of being in control

If that was HIS specific & deliberate purpose for doing so... m-a-y-b-e. But sometimes a pig is just only a pig...

Jeff

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#432238 - 04/30/11 11:54 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: gojuman59]
Ronin1966 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 04/26/02
Posts: 3116
Loc: East Coast, United States
hello gojuman59

<<If this journey was all sunshine and popcorn it wouldn't do much for us. We all need to be challenged in this life.

My classmates, life will provide that sufficently thanks. Is there some line that CANNOT be crossed IYV in this particular context?

Jeff

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#432243 - 05/01/11 08:14 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: Ronin1966]
choonbee Offline
Member

Registered: 02/26/11
Posts: 195
Ronin:

I have a feeling that you may be confusing my posts.
The "sexist pig" instructor was the one who died. That story was told to me by an instructor at my school. I've never trained under him.
The instructor that I am referring to now isn't a "sexist pig". He's simply abraisive at times, but is an excellent instructor.
The funny thing about this guy is that he's a nice person outside of the dojang, and I've only witnessed his abraisiveness during his classes.
Sorry if my posts were confusing.
_________________________
Insert profound martial arts quotes or tough guy phrases here.

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#432731 - 06/11/11 07:47 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: NewJitsu]
eagleyed Offline
Newbie

Registered: 06/08/11
Posts: 19
Hi C.

Maybe it could just be that he is intimadated by women in general. It happens! Maybe he is sexist and dosn't feel women make good martial artists. Who knows? The way i see it is for you to prove him wrong. Stand up to him. GI Jane wouldn't quit despite what they put her through. Show him your bigger and better than he might think. Don't give up on yourself and set an example to the class on what its really like to have bollocks. Chin up and good luck.
P.S
As it goes some of the best martial art students i have witnessed have been female so gender should never be an issue in that respect, if any!

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#432743 - 06/11/11 11:21 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: eagleyed]
hope Offline
Member

Registered: 07/12/09
Posts: 149
Loc: Vancouver, B.C.
By all means, try to prove him wrong if he has a bias against women (this may not be the case with your particular instructor) -- but if you think such a bias exists, keep your eyes open for a better school. Some instructors might change their minds about women given a determined example, but others just won't invest the time to help you with training. Why waste your time with a teacher if he won't train you well because he has a preconceived idea about your lack of potential?
_________________________
God grant me a good sword and no use for it. -- Polish proverb

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#432837 - 06/17/11 03:51 AM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: hope]
Crazy Monkey NM Offline
Stranger

Registered: 06/17/11
Posts: 2
Loc: Rio Rancho, New Mexico
Find a new school. End of story. His job as your instructor is to help you reach new heights in your martial journey. If he can't alter his leadership style for a student having difficulty, then you don't need him. I'm not saying abrasiveness is always bad; it can serve a purpose. But what you described sounds quite simply like bad coaching.
_________________________
http://www.crazymonkeynewmexico.com "Because Life Doesn't Have a Referee"

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#435999 - 09/12/13 10:37 PM Re: Difficulties with a new instructor [Re: WadoNovice]
MrFrank345 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 09/10/13
Posts: 5
Loc: Alexandria, Va
Hello and good day. After reading you story and experiencing the same. I am not going to bore you with another sob story. But if you ever read the book "The book of Martial Power" by Steven j Perlman. My story is very close to his.

So I would find another instructor and he does not need to berates you at all. If you are not getting the techniques that is on the instruct but if you are not practicing it is on you. But after reading I think the instructor is trying to show his or her dominance and it is not cool. Also look up David Dolbear website. There is a column I read of his about choosing a Tia Chi Teacher. I used that knowledge to pick a better teacher for myself. Well I hope this helps.

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