My best friend who is mostly inteligent has a very high opinion of Shaolin Kung Fun masters and says (seriously) that they are he best fighters in the world and that UFC champions wouldn't even really stand much of a chance. I still wonder how serious he actually is.

There is always the thing I keep hearing about some UFC fighter getting his neck broken (he died apparently) a few years ago.

I had one guy tell me all about how Ninjas or some such could (barehanded) rip a mans heart clean out of his chest.

My uncle is a security guard and says he knows a guy who teaches people how to make chi shields and shoot chi blasts. My uncle doesn't have enough money to learn it. What a shame.

Bruce Lee was killed by Shaolin monks for teaching their secrets. that's always a good one.

I think it is a laugh that a 17 year old guy I know (ATA 3rd degree black belt) is an instructor. I realize he is a National Champion (in pure ATA competition) but still.

Another friend who is 16 says that Team Chaos (mma) asked him to help them train fighters (when he was 15) because he was just really good (he has no MA formal training whatsoever. He is a pretty good bawlr though I'll give him that). I wonder if it's true?! lol He says he wasn't impressed cuz all the guys were kind of small.

Chuck Norris can touch mc hammer (Just thought I'd throw that out there).
It's pretty funny that I once (over a year and a half or so period) tried to create my own martial art. Not a question or statement but pretty retarded. I actually worked hard on it too, I had a big binder full of printouts of techniques and principles that I liked from literally about a dozen martial arts.
My first name was Shotokai (till I figured out it was taken). I was in middle school at the time so go easy on me.

Heard this one one too many times, infact there was a time when I felt a little insulted to hear it, but now I've perfected the defense....

"So, you're into martial arts?"
... "Yeah."
"Hah, reakon you can beat me?"
*Punches*
... "Yeah."

Ok, the last response is just what I WANT to do when someone asks this, it's normally more like...

"Hah, reakon you can beat me?"
... "Dunno," (after all I'm probably only twice the guy's size!) "I'd rather not find out."

After class a spectator comes up and says

"I noticed you were defending wrong when you shoot in, your wide open to a kick."

"Oh yeah? Hmm...lets try it?"

A few minutes later he's on the mat with me.

"So when I shoot in you try and kick. Ready?"

"Yep"

BAM

as he eats the mat.

"I Uh...wasn't ready."

"Okay...one more time?"

"Nah..I uh..don't want to hurt yah."


True story and I've never been so amused in my life.

Quite recently;

Gai: Kneeing can't be countered in the clinch, that's why MT is the uber art. Wanna try?
Taison: MT rules or MMA?
Gai: Anything, but heck MMA rules. Knees can't be countered, that's why all those Krotty guys lose when they fight in Thailand.
Taison: You sure?
Gai: Yes
Taison: It might hurt a bit. .
Gai: Pff, as if

*Gai puts me in a clinch and knees twice. I block the first, and then proceed to slam him to the mat before going for the ude-garami hold*

Gai: That's cheating!
Taison: That's MMA, throws are allowed. That's why grapplers usually wins over pure MT boxers.
Gai: Not true, they come here and get their arses kicked most of the time *gets interupted*
Taison: Because the rules doesn't allows throws.
~Silence~

Sigh... Ignorance at it's best~

-Taison out