Here's a little taste of my hell... and I'm doing this off of memory:
Compilation Report:
I have performed the compilation in accordance with statement on standards for accounting and review services issued by the *A*ICPA. A compilation is *l*imited to presenting, in the form of financial statements, information that is the representation of management.
The financial statements were not *a*udited or *r*eviewed which requires and expression of opinion, accordingly I *d*o not express an opinion or give any assurances on the financial statements.
Mnemonic to remember how to write a compilation:
if you peform a compilation you are "A LARD"
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"I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey"