Iaibear,
I don't think "muscle memory" is of much use in dissipating force. You might be better served to pick up a physics book and see how deflection and redirection affect applied forces, then try to realign attacks into the prescribed energy patterns that are available to you. Start with circles, figure 8's , and figure 6's... and don't forget good old straight lines.
To deflect, you have to either blend or push slightly on your entry (talking ikkyo here) and pivot at the point of contact to get both of you going in the same direction. (Remember, I believe all technique is "ikkyo".)
Now that you're confused, let me explain...
Put your arms out in ikkyo posture, in arm swords...
Now, turn your hips right, and bring your right arm down into one side of a figure 8, bringing your left hand close to your right shoulder. Repeat the same movement to the left side, allowing your hands to pass each other as you face forward at 0 degrees... consider facing forward 0... right 90, and left -90 degrees. Keep your arms swords through the loop, and your hands "soft". This is a basic entry for irimi, and I'll leave it at that for the time being.
With that simple exercise, you should be able to intercept any kind of attack except yoko menuchi, and for that, you reverse the movement of your arms to cross your body. If you were "picturing it", it is a figure 8 bent around a circle.
Once you get those motions in place, think of their use as "if the force is outside or straight" (as in shomen), step toward the point of interception... if the force is inside or horizontal, step away and allow the point of interception to come to you.
That simple exercise should give you the lead in almost every technique you try. From there on, it's timing and blending, along with tenkan. (Change hands as necessary)
If you're centered, and your ma-ai is correct, there isn't a technique in Aikido that I know of that you couldn't do. Entering the same space with your attacker is the key, but like a tornado, you want to be the center, and use them as the outside "winds". Dynamically, that's exactly how it works.
The only other instruction I might give you would be "don't be a jerk"... and by that, don't be so anxious to "do the technique" that you lose the timing and jerk out of the grip. Match your timing and movement with your uke, and you'll find much more satisfaction with how easily they are thrown... and they will appreciate it because they'll know exactly what they need to do to protect themselves.
In Judo, it's called "jite Kyoe" (probably misspelled it), which means "you, me, shining together". What it means is that your defense or attack is neither... only part of a movement involving two people... which is Aikido...

I really hope you figure this stuff out... it's hard to teach on a bulletin board...
