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#363150 - 09/28/07 01:21 PM Can you be or have you ever been "Too Honest"?
RazorFoot Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 2064
Loc: Seated at the computer, DUH
I believe in honesty being the best policy and have ever since I was about 26 and made someone cry miserably over what I considered a small fib. I understood how it hurt them, why it hurt them, and how much trust and respect truly mean in any relationship.

At one point, I went off the deep end and became brutally honest and again, here come the tears. I was completely dumbfounded. I TOLD THE TRUTH! And still, the same reaction from someone else.

Moral dilemma, how do you keep true to your convictions but do so in a way that you don't shatter self esteem or someone's fragile version of reality where ever you go?

Please share your pain, lol.

Scottie
_________________________
"The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be."

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#363151 - 09/28/07 01:26 PM Re: Can you be or have you ever been "Too Honest"? [Re: RazorFoot]
harlan Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 07/31/04
Posts: 6665
Loc: Amherst, MA
One guess: you're dealing with a woman...right? LOL!

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#363152 - 09/28/07 01:28 PM Re: Can you be or have you ever been "Too Honest"? [Re: RazorFoot]
Dereck Offline
Prolific

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10413
Loc: Great White North
I'm a honest guy and always have been, and sometimes can be too honest at times as well. I tell it like it is and though I regret telling somethings ... well that is just me. I am responsible for my actions and I have to live up to them. However with that said I can "re-arrange" small lies so they are true or ring true even with evidence if need be. Nobody is perfect.

However at times if I hear something about somebody that I feel is wrong and if the person who they spoke about approaches me, I would be very tactful in telling them something that could have over the top reactions. I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings or get involved in something I shouldn't be, nor will I feed the flame.

I guess Scottie you have to weigh everything and see what is the greater good. Will people get hurt and will you be resented more so now or more so later; and then take the lesser of two evils. For me I over analyze things and always think of the worst possibilities and then make decisions on that.

Honesty most time "is" the best policy. You may look like a schmuck today but the repercussions could be far worse later if found out.
_________________________
"IF I COME ... I'M BRINGING THE PAIN WITH ME"

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#363153 - 09/28/07 01:38 PM Re: Can you be or have you ever been "Too Honest"? [Re: RazorFoot]
MattJ Offline
Free Rhinoplasty!
Prolific

Registered: 11/25/04
Posts: 15634
Loc: York PA. USA
Can you be or have you ever been "Too Honest"?

Yes. 'Nuff said.
_________________________
"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

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#363154 - 09/28/07 01:38 PM Re: Can you be or have you ever been "Too Honest"? [Re: harlan]
ButterflyPalm Offline
Enigma

Registered: 08/26/04
Posts: 2637
Loc: Malaysia
Quote:

One guess: you're dealing with a woman...right? LOL!




Men do cry, only that they laugh about it.
_________________________
I'll rather be happy than right, anytime.

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#363155 - 09/28/07 01:42 PM Re: Can you be or have you ever been "Too Honest"? [Re: ButterflyPalm]
harlan Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 07/31/04
Posts: 6665
Loc: Amherst, MA
Been too honest? Yes. There are always levels. You have to guage your speech.

'The light of Truth's mid-day is too harsh for tender leaves.' - Buddha

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#363156 - 09/28/07 02:49 PM Re: Can you be or have you ever been "Too Honest"? [Re: harlan]
Leonine Offline
Member

Registered: 07/23/05
Posts: 191
"How pretty do you think I really am?"

Oi, I would answer it the same, but I wish I could take back the question.

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#363157 - 09/28/07 03:03 PM Re: Can you be or have you ever been "Too Honest"? [Re: RazorFoot]
clmibb Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 1035
Loc: South Texas, US
There's a fine line between being brutally honest and being nice and honset. Say your wife /girlfriend asks if the dress makes her look fat and honestly it does.
WRONG ANSWER: "OMG! Thank goodness you said something because I don't want to be seen with you out in public with your ass looking that big."
More tactful asnwer: "Sweetheart I like the color of that dress on you but I don't think that cut is right for you."
The time tested formula is: complement something about the situation + specific critcism of the problem (not the person) = being able to sleep in your own bed and not the couch. Just my own personal experience.

Casey
_________________________
"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."- Ronald Reagan


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#363158 - 09/28/07 03:08 PM Re: Can you be or have you ever been "Too Honest"? [Re: clmibb]
RazorFoot Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 2064
Loc: Seated at the computer, DUH
Quote:

There's a fine line between being brutally honest and being nice and honset. Say your wife /girlfriend asks if the dress makes her look fat and honestly it does.
WRONG ANSWER: "OMG! Thank goodness you said something because I don't want to be seen with you out in public with your ass looking that big."
More tactful asnwer: "Sweetheart I like the color of that dress on you but I don't think that cut is right for you."
The time tested formula is: complement something about the situation + specific critcism of the problem (not the person) = being able to sleep in your own bed and not the couch. Just my own personal experience.

Casey




Your own personal experience??? How long did it take you to get your husband's blood stains out of the carpet and where did you hide the body?

Personally, dresses always make me look fat. Guess I will stick to shirts & pants. Oh wait, did I type that or think that?

Scottie
_________________________
"The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be."

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#363159 - 09/28/07 03:11 PM Re: Can you be or have you ever been "Too Honest"? [Re: clmibb]
Dereck Offline
Prolific

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10413
Loc: Great White North
Quote:

Say your wife /girlfriend asks if the dress makes her look fat and honestly it does.




CORRECT ANSWER: No honey that dress doesn't make you look fat, your continually eating and shoving food into your face makes you look fat.

My wife actually asked me something similar about a body part and I answered something comical that I still laugh about today. She didn't laugh but it still brings a smile to my face. I would share it but I don't think she would appreciate it. And I suspect other women wouldn't either.
_________________________
"IF I COME ... I'M BRINGING THE PAIN WITH ME"

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