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#329752 - 03/21/07 03:26 PM Re: Have you experienced violence? [Re: Zombie Zero]
Chen Zen Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 02/09/03
Posts: 7043
Loc: Ms
In response to harlans last line.
"When I let Go of who I am, I become who I might be."
Lao Tzu

#329753 - 03/21/07 03:32 PM Re: Have you experienced violence? [Re: Chen Zen]
Dereck Offline

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10416
Loc: Great White North
I enjoyed your post Mark. Trouble always seems to be out there and made me reflect on my own childhood even more. The person you were speaking to about going out and looking for trouble for a good time, he's obviously not the only one. I was one of those between 19-21 and even got pulled over by the police as we used to get drunk doing this. We used to carry aluminum bats and thankfully was able to hide this under my seat. I had to do a Breathalyzer then and should have been charged for drinking and driving but back in the 80's I got off with a warning. That was another stupid thing I did and from that day forward I never drove and drank. Thankfully I'm one of those people that can learn from mistakes.

Again, enjoyed the post and the poll was a good idea and look forward to reading and sharing more.

#329754 - 03/21/07 04:04 PM Re: Have you experienced violence? [Re: oldman]
Xibalba Offline

Registered: 03/11/05
Posts: 499
Loc: Lansing, MI, USA

Thank you so much for sharing your intimate and thought-provoking experiences.

Reading your post brought vivid flashbacks of my life growing up. I, too, experienced more than my fair share of violence as a youth/teen/young adult. In a conversation a couple of years ago with a lifelong friend with whom I went to high school and who also lived down the street from my family, the topic of neighborhood violence came up. She mentioned something like "We really grew up in a rough neighborhood - the level of violence really was not normal." This statement took me aback - until then, I never had really thought that the neighborhood violence young folks in our end of town experienced was any big deal. But it was. Compared to many other neighborhoods where I have lived, and the neighborhood we are raising our son in, the level of violence in my boyhood haunts was staggeringly high.

My experiences with violence are what prompted my study of the martial arts (as it is with many here, I am sure). I skipped a grade at a young age, and was probably considered "gifted" to some degree. This made me younger than my classmates (already a strike against me), and my lack of social skills as a kid didn't help either. To top it off (laugh if you must), I did dance. Tap to be precise. I liked dancing, and was good at it. This led to a pattern of violent bullying that would shape me - in many ways - into who I am today.

Too many incidents to count, but a few stick out in my mind:

- Fifth grade, being pummeled by a kid in my class during recess for god-knows-what social infraction. I went to a parochial school, and recess was done in the empty half of the parking lot. I ended up on the ground, my head and shoulders shoved under a parked car, being kicked in the ribs. I do not remember any adult intervening, unfortunately.

- High school locker room, just prior to 10th grade swim class. Some burnout named Don Decker (funny how names like that stick out after 21 yrs) had been my nemesis. Today he decided it would be fun to back me into a corner and punch the crap out of my ribs and midsection (the face would have left incriminating marks - or so he told me in not so many words). Again, no adults were involved, and I did not tell. I had quit dance the previous summer, however, and replaced it with TKD soon after this incident.

- Senior year, homeroom. Another loudmouth wanna-be bully started throwing verbal threats my way when Mr Jarvey stepped out of the room. I had been in TKD for over 2 yrs by now, and felt big enough to call him to the carpet. We stood up, he charged, I front-kicked him in the jimmy. Fight over, and we were both back in our seats (although he was sitting a little uncomfortably) before Jarvey ever came back into the room.

- Senior year. There were riots in our school between "jocks" and "burnouts". Not just scuffles - full fledged, furniture throwing, riots. We had a school of about 4,000 total, a huge district. Police in full riot gear came and locked us down for two days. Luckily, I was smart enough to avoid the mass melee.

- College - sophomore through senior year. I lived in the dorm, and was training 6-7 days a week at the MSUKC. I tried not to look for trouble, but my MA obsession was no secret. The same guy in my dorm picked a fight with me once a year for three years. I am sure, in hindsight, I could have talked my way out of it, but being the victim so many times in the past was still taking its toll on me, and I had stuff left to prove. None of these ended well for him, but thankfully no one was seriously hurt overall.

- After college. My first real job at community mental health, working overnights in a group home. A shooting happened in the driveway of the home, bullets flying past the open window 2 feet from my head. I dove behind the couch and called 911 while a shooter was banging on the door trying to get in. I hollered that the cops were on the way, and he insisted I let him in because "I have a gun". I ended up crawling up the stairs to the second floor bathroom, as there were no windows in that room for me to be seen through. Police arrived moments later, and I saw from the office window a body in a pool of blood being attended to by paramedics in the driveway. Our eight clients residing in the home never even woke up.

Thanks for letting me share.

#329755 - 03/21/07 06:03 PM Re: Have you experienced violence? [Re: MattJ]
grumbleweed Offline

Registered: 08/12/06
Posts: 446
since i left school/village at 16 i have not experienced any violence against me, between 11-16 got a fair few beatings of the council estate thug who later was a local hero for thwarting a hold up at a shop taking on 3 pikies, did time for firearms offences and GBH, so no shame it this, if i was going to suffer violence better from someone worthy of the thug label
no violence at home and one glorious victory at the school bus stop
"Irony is mainly used by the British in in order to distinguish themselves from Americans, which worked very well until the Americans had more guns than them."

#329756 - 03/21/07 06:26 PM Re: Have you experienced violence? [Re: Taison]
grumbleweed Offline

Registered: 08/12/06
Posts: 446
<<ghetto/slums of Bangkok>>

Thai ghetto, Klong Toey, or farang Ghetto, Khao San Road? , if later, Tarquin and his chums with their dreadlocks and 'ethnic' shoulder bags do deserve a good beating!
"Irony is mainly used by the British in in order to distinguish themselves from Americans, which worked very well until the Americans had more guns than them."

#329757 - 03/21/07 10:36 PM Re: Have you experienced violence? [Re: grumbleweed]
jamestkdkungfu Offline

Registered: 01/28/06
Posts: 113
it seriously disturbs me how much our world is becoming almost excatly how it was predicted to in fahernhiet 451, sure we dont have "firemen" burning our books but; youth looking for random violence, bigger and better t.v.'s, reading has become (at least in high school) social suicide, everyone must join a team, sport or something;its abnormal to just enjoy reading,walks nature and not be involved in any group activities i know Canada even has ads that say its sad that for some kids imagination is all they have; some kids don't wish to play sports or group things, i know i didn't until i found martial arts when i was 14.

anyways back to point violence is becoming the norm, in my province they wont invest in preventing violence by building new facilities and given kids other options then getting into mischief. I admit when i was a little kid i did not like doing group things but i would have loved to have gone see a movie somewhere even if it was an old flick if it meant i didn't have to ask my poor mother for money(literally we did not have money for much) instead if you want to have fun you must fork out insert large amount of cash here _____. they claim to have organizations for kids to be able to join hockey or other sports but there are only so many spots for that and you might be like me where you fit into a lovely bracket of income that doesn't get any of these benefits but cannot afford anything either. The reason so many of us are experiencing violence is because we don't invest in our youth so they find things to do, a lot of the time these things are not smartest things to do but they aren't bored.

we are in a world where progression is hindered by retiring society , the old outweigh the young so they are looked at first. If we see ways to make jobs and money thats good because we have a larger economy but we arent using that in a productive manner. all of our money is being invested in; Making more money!

I have experienced a lot of violence the past few years here in Halifax. i have had knives pulled on me, plenty of fights , fleeing from muggers, robbed at work, attacked at parties because i dress "emo". This is being caused by angry youth who have nothing to do, and that leads to criminals which leads to more money being diverted to law enforement which is being seen in my province.

i go out i try to have a good time avoid as much as I can, protect my family and friends when necessary and try to be a good person but this isn't good enough so now i am going to try my luck at becoming a police officer and volunteering whenever possible to ensure some of the very few non profit groups for kids and teens continue to function.I believe that Martial Arts has helped with this and I am proud to say the dojang, I am a part of offers free training for those who cannot afford the cost. We go with a pay as you can basis and there hasn't been a case of people taking advantage yet.

welcome to Nova Scotia the retirement province of Atlantic Canada!

#329758 - 03/22/07 03:19 PM Re: Have you experienced violence? [Re: jamestkdkungfu]
Dereck Offline

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10416
Loc: Great White North
When I was a kid there was always violence in way of fighting but not to the degree now. The previous post touch a point that I want to expand on. When I was a kid in the 70's and 80's we did sports. We were always doing something whether I played soccer, football or baseball. I wished I had played hockey but my mother thought it too violent ... though football was alright. Through school we joined extracurricular sports such as soccer, wrestling, football, track, etc. We never had time to get into trouble, though we did but again not to the degree things are now.

Kids are not being challenged like we were. I have a good kid (14 year old daughter) and we've tried her in soccer, t-ball, dance, gymnastics, skating, TKD, etc. while she was growing up but never liked anything for too long. My wife and I were overly active in sport and even after high school I was still in an adult volleyball league and now weight lifting and TKD/BJJ. It was hard for us to understand the lack of wanting to be a part of sports for our daughter.

Now kids have i-pods, computers, big tv's and the such and sports seem to be on the decline for many. I had a great imagination as a child but it seems unless some stimuli is created by something electronic that many kids of today cannot even be moved to do anything. This leave kids hanging around outside and unfortunately I have seen packs of kids not only look for trouble but finding it with others or by creating it themselves. We were scared of the law or even being reprimanded by an adult figure but now a days they don't even care as they have no fear. They know the system and know that they can have even their parents arrested for assault or at least have them removed from their parent's care. God knows I hated getting beat by my parents, and it wasn't borderline child abuse, it was full on child abuse when it came to my mother, but fear, common sense and keeping active in a sport helped keep me on the straight and narrow ... and perhaps what many kids need today. Not the child abuse part but knowing that for every wrong action they do there is an equal and opposite reaction to it that could be a slap upside the head or to the ass, or being grounded and enforced to the removal and disposal of their belongs.

I don't blame tv shows. I don't blame music. I don't blame movies. I blame bleeding heart people over the years taking the control away from parents and the law to deal with many situations. I blame these people for softening us as a society to a bunch of lazy over-weight whiners. There are so many rights for the guilty that the rights for the innocent mean nothing and it is those people that suffer. Stricter laws that are enforced and significant penalties are long over due. Let the severity of the crime dictate the severity of punishment. Let people get scared because sometimes being scared is enough for people to make a better decision ... it worked for us when we were young. Or maybe this is nothing more then a rant and it is something in the water.

#329759 - 03/25/07 01:34 AM Re: Have you experienced violence? [Re: MattJ]
wristtwister Offline
like a chiropractor, only evil

Registered: 02/14/06
Posts: 2210
Loc: South Carolina
Experienced violence - yes
age- from childhood through young adult
Where - neighborhood, work, and as an LEO
Multiple attackers - most of the time as a child, usually single attackers as an adult, some with weapons

I grew up in a gang-heavy neighborhood, and since my father died when I was six months old, I never had anyone to teach me how to fight, so I was an easy victim for the neighborhood tough guys. When I went to college, I signed up for the karate class at the YMCA, and learned how to defend myself. At 18, I stopped being a victim after years of neighborhood beatings and abuse.

I worked undercover for a corruption strike force in New Orleans and chased fugitives, and as a LEO, had my share of confrontations, which usually were resolved by arresting somebody or diffusing the situation.

After leaving the department, I had some violent encounters while running a game room for my brother in law. I had a customer attack me with a claw hammer, and another one with a straight-razor. Both those guys took ambulance rides and ended up in jail.

As a brown belt in karate when I was 20, one of my college roommates and I were attacked in an all night diner by some drunk rednecks. One of them walked in and just punched my roommate off his stool, and I spun off my stool and hit him with a roundhouse kick that sent him through a plate glass window. I hit one of the other ones and he ended up totalling a jukebox, and my roommate jumped in on the other guy when he got his senses back.

All in all, my MA training came too late to keep me from taking beatings as a kid, but it's served me well since 1962.
What man is a man that does not make the world a better place?... from "Kingdom of Heaven"

#329760 - 03/27/07 03:13 AM Re: Have you experienced violence? [Re: wristtwister]
shorin-ji Offline

Registered: 02/15/05
Posts: 146
Loc: victoria, b.c, canada
well ive been involved in and seen a lot of violence so far in my life (i'm only 18) it started with family violence as a kid with my drug addict dad who would be violent with my mom (luckily he left never to be seen again when i was about 7) I didnt get involved in or see many fights during middle school but in highschool all of that changed. i ended up in a couple scraps and i ended up getting gangbeat by numerous assailants at a party which resulted in me having to go the the hospital and the dentist. i have also had a drug addict pull a knife on me for no reason, just for walking by. and i have whitnessed too many acts of violence in the last few years but the ones that stand out are; trying to break up a fight where 2 guys were beating up one smaller guy at a party i was at for no good reason which just ended up getting me covered in this smaller kids blood. standing on the back field of my school when a guy slashed another guy with a samurai sword because the kid stole his stuff days earlier. i live in a place where violence is pretty prominant (almost everyday someone i know ends up in a violent incident) and i live in a neighbourhood where the most common role model is one of neighbourhood dealers with the nice car who gets all the girls.

I will also admit that at one point I got myself in to a lot of trouble by being with the wrong people and making the wrong choices. for example befriending drugdealers including a ex hockey couch who decided that it was better money to sell crack. i was dumb and would go along with him. I realized how stupid i had been after one night at about 2:00 am i was chased through ally ways by a group of meth addicts because my hockey couch had ripped them off for 30$. I knew that if they had cought us they would have most likely killed us.

i have no idea why i made such stupid choices in the past.

#329761 - 03/27/07 03:55 PM Re: Have you experienced violence? [Re: shorin-ji]
globetrotter Offline
does unto others before they do unto him

Registered: 01/10/05
Posts: 637
Loc: ny usa
interesting posts.

when I was very young, before 3rd grade, I lived in a bad area. although I didn't expereince much, my older brother was beaten up on a regular basis, and my father used to be very worried that we would be attacked. I didn't remember any of this untill recently, when I went with my brother to visit where we had lived, and he told me that when we walked as a family, my father would brief my brother, then 13 about what to do if we were mugged, and my father would carry a knife.

I mention this because it may very well have had an impact on me, whether I remeber it or not.

when I was slightly older, I was a year younger than everyone in my class, and short, and, similar to an earlier poster, probrably with not such great social skills. so I got my ass kicked a few times, once pretty seriously - with both checkbones broken. I also got chased around more than once.

I got involved at about 11 in TKD, and at the same time thickened in the chest and shoulders, and really didn't have much problems for most of junior high and high school.

in high school I got into the normal fights, but also into one fight with an adult - walking with a female friend who had her chest gropped by a man, she slapped him and he swung at her with a full punch. I intervined.

from 18 till my late twenties, I was involved in violence as a vocation - I was first a combat soldier and then I worked in a few other positions where I put myself in harms way. I was involved in any number of violent incendents, most involving weapons, most involving multiple people. thinking about it, it may very well be related to the insecurity of my childhood that led me to pursue this type of lifestyle.

during this time, I might have been involved in one or two incodents of a personal nature, and a few muggings.

since then I haven't been involved in any violence.

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