some ideas come to mind:
* don't call in sick, call in dead.
* completely rearrainge the refrigerator items, especially bag lunches...put them in the vegetable drawer.
* Insist on taking random ethnic/religious holidays. "I'm observing Quanza...so I won't be in on monday."
* Bring a personal cell phone in, and set the ringtones on full volume of 'fiddler on the roof' or 'Jesus Christ Superstar'.
* Over-use every old office phrases like 'been there, done that.' or 'at the end of the day...'. also constantly use worn-out meaningless catch-all terms like 'paradigm' and 'pro-active'.
[DISCLAIMER - Implementing these ideas is with the assumption you already know how to defend yourself from provoked attacks.]