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#313080 - 01/06/07 10:47 PM Irritating people at work
MattJ Offline
Free Rhinoplasty!
Prolific

Registered: 11/25/04
Posts: 15634
Loc: York PA. USA
If I could get paid for that, I would be a millionaire. Anybody ever do this kind of stuff? -

* Insert your boss's/co-worker's name into song lyrics inappropriately.

One of my favorites. The Beatles - "I wanna hold (bosses name) hand" Neil Young - "Old (bosses name), look at your life, I'm a lot like you were" Kanye West - "Now I ain't saying (co-workers name)'s a gold digger, but...", etc. Hours of fun for me, prefereably loud and off-key.

* Polite but gender-inappropriate greetings or comments.

Burly mechanic walks in for parts. I greet him with "Ma'am, how may I help you?" Or "How may I help you, Sir or Ma'am?"

Or I hand them a tiny part, and ask "Do you need some help with that? You appear to be in a delicate condition?"

* Embarrassing requests for assistance

Walk into the shop, see someone in a red car, under the hood. Loudly ask "Excuse me - would everyone who is a jackass please work under the hood of a red car." Wait for pointing and laughing of said jackass. Loudly proclaim "THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION." Walk away.

Announce that you are going to the restroom, and say that you will need help. If they ask for what, say you'll SHOW them when you go in there.
_________________________
"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

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#313081 - 01/12/07 07:46 AM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: MattJ]
RazorFoot Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 2064
Loc: Seated at the computer, DUH
Personal favorite: Letting a coworker get about 50 yards from you then yelling something to them but letting it trail off into gibberish. They turn to say "What?" and you repeat it the same way. Let the first part of your sentence make sense but have the last few words just be garbage like, "Hey Tony, did you remember to bosowiches tella makka?"

They yell "What?" as they start walking back to you. Give them a disgusted look and repeat the same crap again with more feeling this time. Once again, they give you "what?". Then, wait till they get almost right next to you and repeat the same phrase the same way you did the first time to them. Oh yeah, that's a crowd pleaser.

They truly enjoy walking the same distance twice. Think of it this way, you are helping them to develop patience and understanding while giving them needed exercise, and entertaining yourself at the same time. A win-win situation for all.

Scottie
_________________________
"The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be."

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#313082 - 01/12/07 03:11 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: MattJ]
Dereck Offline
Prolific

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10413
Loc: Great White North
Call people over to you and then when they ask what you want you say, I just wanted to see if you'd come over. If somebody leaves their desk we will ring their phone and when they get there hang up just in time so they can't see who called. Or if somebody is on a personal call you buzz their phone so it beeps and then say got to go as I have another call and when they hang up that call you also hang up.

If you have gas don't do it in your area. When somebody is not in their area you go to their's and let it go ... wait a few seconds so it doesn't follow you ... and then leave. Nice little present.

Leave phone messages on people's voice mail that cannot be understood or you scream or bang the phone or what have you.

I have access to many thing for e-mails so I send e-mails to people within the company and copy and paste other people's signatures. When people used to leave their computers unattended and did not lock it I would send e-mails to people and this has created some fun. Or change their screen saver to words that scroll across the screen like "I love little boys" or something even stupider. One guy moved into a new house so I went to his computer and invited the company Canada wide and said don't bring booze and bring your kids. He got an upteenth amount of replies. This same guy is a big flirt and when drunk at a golf tournament was bugging one of the ladies that used to sit beside me. When she left her computer unattended I sent him an e-mail saying that she'd like to see where things would go. He called her that night and they both knew immediately it was me after some embarrassing starting converstation.

This same guy, and I should make mention is a friend, has done some things to me too. We were at a wedding and the recepiton was at a centre where older folks get together and sign up for things. He signed me up for lawn bowling and then called me to see when I could play. Last month I got my revenge and signed him up at the same place for a trip to some place and they phoned to applogize as they had to cancel. When I got this guy hired he would constantly scare me so I copied his keys and hid in his backseat during the winter. I watched him have his coffee. He came and warmed up the car and went back in. When he got in and started backing up I jumped up and scared him ... big time. Of course he gets me back and I get him back. Somebody soaked his chair and he swapped it for mine in the lunch room. I ended up getting soaked through my grey dress pants and lost it and threw the chair threw a wall ... and we had just moved into a new building. I hid the hole and threatened the lives of everybody if they told. I fixed the hole and 8 years later nobody has said anything.

Lots of good fun you can have with work people. We have one planned for a lady who phones every Friday to Pizza Hut to place their supper order. We are going to change it one night on her.
_________________________
"IF I COME ... I'M BRINGING THE PAIN WITH ME"

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#313083 - 01/12/07 03:24 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: Dereck]
oldman Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5884
Once I brought a package of hot dogs to work. I put them inside the 3 ring binders of peoples dayplanners.

The day we moved into our new offices I cut 30 2 1/2 inch circles of 3m doublestick tape. I came in early and put them on all the phone recievers in the department. I waited til 8:35 then I started making calls.

After that... well, I also sent people potatoes through the interoffice mail.

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#313084 - 01/12/07 03:28 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: oldman]
Dereck Offline
Prolific

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10413
Loc: Great White North
Our plant manager when away on holidays so we filled his office with empty 45 gallon drums so that he couldn't get into his office when he got back. I changed out all of family pictures in his office once with pictures of other people including Rita McNeil and he didn't notice for days. At a friends house I cut out the picture of somebody and put it over one of their family members and nobody noticed for months.

I've been looking for a "fart spray" that I want to have so when our plant manager has a meeting in this office that I can spray prior. Man do we bug this guy lots.
_________________________
"IF I COME ... I'M BRINGING THE PAIN WITH ME"

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#313085 - 01/12/07 03:46 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: Dereck]
tkd_high_green Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 1031
Loc: Vermont
Boy am I glad I don't work in your office Dereck!

Laura

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#313086 - 01/12/07 03:49 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: tkd_high_green]
Dereck Offline
Prolific

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10413
Loc: Great White North
You'd have fun Laura. We only bug the people we like.
_________________________
"IF I COME ... I'M BRINGING THE PAIN WITH ME"

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#313087 - 01/12/07 03:50 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: Dereck]
MattJ Offline
Free Rhinoplasty!
Prolific

Registered: 11/25/04
Posts: 15634
Loc: York PA. USA
Quote:

I have access to many thing for e-mails so I send e-mails to people within the company and copy and paste other people's signatures.




TEE HEE! While I would never do anything like that , I have heard about people that sign other people up to annoying email things. A coworker, who was a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan, used to repeatedly sign my boss up for Steeler fan websites and emails. My boss HATES the Steelers (big Ravens fan), so this was a great source of amusement for us all. Except for my boss.
_________________________
"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

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#313088 - 01/12/07 03:56 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: Dereck]
tkd_high_green Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 1031
Loc: Vermont
Thats what I'm afraid of.

Laura

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#313089 - 01/12/07 04:05 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: Dereck]
motobusmonkey Offline
Member

Registered: 05/03/06
Posts: 85
Loc: St Louis
We have had some fun in the past, but I work in an electronics shop, so things start to get dangerous fast(tesla coils and such). Some of the smaller things I have done include switching a roll of solder with actual wire so that when someone tries to solder something it would burn them instead.

The best one though was a group project... we had a guy go on vacation for 2 weeks. We collected all of the paper holes from our hole punchers( a LOT of paper holes). We put them in the pencil tray of his desk drawer, then with rubber bands and paper clips, put a piece of cardboard that was wound up real tight and would spin when released but trapped it in the desk when it was closed. We put everything from his desk in that drawer so that he would open it first thing when he returned. It was great, a huge blast of confetti flew out of there, scared him pretty good!

There have been various "tickle boxes" through the years also. A box that looks like candy but when you pick it up it shocks the hell out of you.( these are usually broken rather quickly )

Sorry if this is hard to read but I am supposed to be working

-Jeff

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#313090 - 01/12/07 04:29 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: motobusmonkey]
MattJ Offline
Free Rhinoplasty!
Prolific

Registered: 11/25/04
Posts: 15634
Loc: York PA. USA
I used to work in an electronics repair shop. The higher-ups there used to have oodles of fun when we would pick up a big-screen TV to bring back to the shop for repair. As we were carrying the TV (me walking backwards), then would ram me into the door opening of the shop. I would return the favor as often as possible when the other guys were walking backwards.

One of their other fave games was to pass gas most foul in the vehicle en-route to a pick-up or back to the shop, and then use the power door locks and windows to keep me from getting away or getting any fresh air.
_________________________
"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

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#313091 - 01/12/07 04:33 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: MattJ]
jonnyboxcutter Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/06
Posts: 320
I used to be the office help desk guy, that should say it all but…

My favorite was to set a forgotten password to something like

IWillNeverForgetMyPasswordAgain

You would have to type this for a month (I wouldn’t change it back).

I once encrypted the boot sector of our mail server because I knew the boss would reboot it for no reason (mid day and we server 5,000 users). Funny it took me all day to fix it, “unfortunately sir all of my “special” utilities are at my house is it ok if I go get them?”

I’ve also been known to get into the Network switches and shut down specific ports (to users or to servers). This helps in explaining who actually has more control over the network, the server admin, or the network admin.

In my defense he killed my login rights to prove a point, funny – when he went to fix it he had lost all connectivity to the servers… He never did figure out why he still had web access but no server access – Layer3 routing + VLANS = good time

-JBC-
_________________________
-- -JBC-

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#313092 - 01/12/07 04:58 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: jonnyboxcutter]
motobusmonkey Offline
Member

Registered: 05/03/06
Posts: 85
Loc: St Louis
I also irritate people from time to time by inducing a very high pitch tone to their phones intercomm speaker, Then when they come and ask me to fix it I turn off the tone and go check out their phone. When I get there I usually ask them where the tone is and act really annoyed. I will try to get them to follow me back to my bench so I can turn the tone on before they get to their desk. Rinse and repeat as needed(depending on the severity of my annoyance).

I make the tone high enough that I can't really hear it anyway(I have bad hearing), but on an average person it can make them think they are hearing things.

Not as good as controlling the server but, it gets me through the day. I usually don't mess with the I.T. guys, they can make your work life pretty rough.

When I first started a new job, I had to change an antenna on a radio tower, and my partners were acting like they were afraid of heights and didn't want to climb the tower. When I got up there they started throwing rocks at a wasp nest they had already spotted about halway up the tower. Surprisingly, I didn't find that one very funny at all.

-Jeff

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#313093 - 01/12/07 05:05 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: motobusmonkey]
motobusmonkey Offline
Member

Registered: 05/03/06
Posts: 85
Loc: St Louis
One more, I almost forgot!

We install radios/lights/sirens in public safety vehicles. It is really fun(and mean) to wait for someone to walk right in front of a car you are working on and blast the siren. They are very VERY loud when inside of a garage.

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#313094 - 01/12/07 05:17 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: motobusmonkey]
MattJ Offline
Free Rhinoplasty!
Prolific

Registered: 11/25/04
Posts: 15634
Loc: York PA. USA
Quote:

When I first started a new job, I had to change an antenna on a radio tower, and my partners were acting like they were afraid of heights and didn't want to climb the tower. When I got up there they started throwing rocks at a wasp nest they had already spotted about halway up the tower. Surprisingly, I didn't find that one very funny at all.

-Jeff





Before we moved into the new dealership location, a favorite practical joke here was to take a pair of old boots and uniform pants (over the boots, like someone was wearing them) , and put them into a bathroom stall.

Guys would come in after a big lunch, and needing to *ahem* go, would see the "feet" of someone already in the stall. Some would leave and come back, others would stand there and wait. And wait. And wait. Sometimes they would start asking "Hey you gonna be much longer?"

Finally exasperated, they would push open the stall door, to reveal.....nobody.
_________________________
"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

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#313095 - 01/12/07 05:40 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: jonnyboxcutter]
Dereck Offline
Prolific

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10413
Loc: Great White North
Quote:

I’ve also been known to get into the Network switches and shut down specific ports (to users or to servers). This helps in explaining who actually has more control over the network, the server admin, or the network admin.






_________________________
"IF I COME ... I'M BRINGING THE PAIN WITH ME"

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#313096 - 01/12/07 05:43 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: MattJ]
Dereck Offline
Prolific

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10413
Loc: Great White North
Quote:

One of their other fave games was to pass gas most foul in the vehicle en-route to a pick-up or back to the shop, and then use the power door locks and windows to keep me from getting away or getting any fresh air.




Went on a trip from Edmonton, Alberta to Helena, Montana which is over 8 hours with no stops. On the way back I was in the backseat of my buddies Ford Escort and he and my other friend had stopped at the roadside store and picked up deviled sausages and they were burping and farting while having the fans blowing into the backseat where I was and there were no windows to open up. Brings back memories.
_________________________
"IF I COME ... I'M BRINGING THE PAIN WITH ME"

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#313097 - 01/12/07 05:51 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: MattJ]
Dereck Offline
Prolific

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10413
Loc: Great White North
Quote:

Before we moved into the new dealership location, a favorite practical joke here was to take a pair of old boots and uniform pants (over the boots, like someone was wearing them) , and put them into a bathroom stall.

Guys would come in after a big lunch, and needing to *ahem* go, would see the "feet" of someone already in the stall. Some would leave and come back, others would stand there and wait. And wait. And wait. Sometimes they would start asking "Hey you gonna be much longer?"

Finally exasperated, they would push open the stall door, to reveal.....nobody.




When I started working in the plant back in 1988, a common joke was to say, "Is that your black wallet on the bathroom floor". I fell for it as did everybody after my time. When I started doing it to the new guys, when they went into the bathroom to check I would either put pallets infront of the door so they couldn't get out or I'd tie a rope to the handle and tie it off on the fork lift or a nearby pole and leave them in their for a good amount of quality breathing time. I should mention this is right after somebody had a huge bowel movement.

When working in the plant we would do all kinds of crazy things. When a guy was leaving, even the president's son, we would hold them down, soak them, shrink wrap them to a pole ... right after we ripped their shorts off them while wearing them ... and then use a marker to put a moustache on them.

New guys we'd send over to the local plumbing store or to the parts supply store and have them ask for a left handed wrench or a pipe stretcher. The businesses around us had some good laughs and started joining in. They'd tell the new guy that they'd order it if they returned something just as insane that no normal human being could believe. New guys ... they are not normal human beings.
_________________________
"IF I COME ... I'M BRINGING THE PAIN WITH ME"

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#313098 - 01/12/07 06:03 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: Dereck]
Dereck Offline
Prolific

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10413
Loc: Great White North
Now with that all said, I have been "gotten" as well. My buddy waited on the roof with a bucket of water in the summer and when I was coming into the building after lunch, and I wear dress cloths to work, he dumped 5 gallons on top of me while one of our owners giggled with glee. As earlier stated, I fell for the wallet trick. I've been scared by fire crackers being tossed into our press room where your back is facing the door and the fans are so loud it is easily to sneak up behind somebody and scare them; and fire crackers are worse. And one of the reasons I climbed into my buddies car to scare him.

For the most part though I usually am on the giving end then the receiving end, but I've also will be starting my 20th year in March so I've seen people come and go and have built up a reputation of being a fun guy. My buddy and I are almost expected to do this and people enjoy the laughs, or most of the people do.

Now I'm just watching to make sure this buddy doesn't have anything planned for me for the near future otherwise I will have to retaliate. Things I have planned for him; 20+ various magazine subscriptions to his house; putting an open house sign just up the road from his house saying "just walk in"; selling his car in the want ads for dirt cheap. Who runs Bartertown?
_________________________
"IF I COME ... I'M BRINGING THE PAIN WITH ME"

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#313099 - 01/12/07 08:40 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: Dereck]
jonnyboxcutter Offline
Member

Registered: 08/11/06
Posts: 320
Liked the graphic, and the quick answer is me…

I am actually the coolest tech you could ever work with. Most of my shows of control are saved for the most annoying technical people. Only the most aggravating of users (trust me it really does take a lot to get me going) get dealt with and for them it is just the password thing. For the most part, once you get on my good side you can have free reign if you want it. Plus there is the random “hook-ups” that I can help you out with

-JBC-
_________________________
-- -JBC-

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#313100 - 01/12/07 11:46 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: jonnyboxcutter]
clmibb Offline
Veteran

Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 1035
Loc: South Texas, US
My husband was in the Navy a few years back and they would irritate people all the time especially the new kids. One kid was cocky and the older guys had enough of his know-it-all attitude. One of the petty officers asked this kid's for his help saying all the other guys just aren't capible of handling this important job (totally filling this kid's ego). He handed him a lawn trash bag and asked him to get an exhaust sample from a boat. The enginemen revved the engine up real high and got a huge cloud of exhaust. The kid was there trying to catch this exhaust sample with the lawn bag coughing and gagging the whole time. He bunched up the opening and asked what the petty officer wanted done with it. He gave him a twist tie and sent him off to the supply hanger with a list of parts that he needed to get: 100 feet of flight line, muffler bearings and brake fluid for the helicopters and a lubricant they nicknamed KY Jelly. The kid looked confused about the KY Jelly so he asked someone else what the suff was called. Luckily the guy he asked had been there a while and didn't like him. He told him that the Petty Officer was right that there is a lube that has a really long name that starts with a K just no one could pronounce it or remember what it was called. They just nicknamed it KY Jelly and everyone could remember it and to not worry the guys over in the hanger would know exactly what he was talking about. So this kid leaves and the shop called the hanger to warn them that a new kid was coming. The hanger would send him to another place (another hanger or even out on town) just to keep him away for most of the day.

Casey
_________________________
"It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first."- Ronald Reagan


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#313101 - 01/13/07 12:23 AM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: MattJ]
Ed_Morris Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 6768
some ideas come to mind:

* don't call in sick, call in dead.

* completely rearrainge the refrigerator items, especially bag lunches...put them in the vegetable drawer.

* Insist on taking random ethnic/religious holidays. "I'm observing Quanza...so I won't be in on monday."

* Bring a personal cell phone in, and set the ringtones on full volume of 'fiddler on the roof' or 'Jesus Christ Superstar'.

* Over-use every old office phrases like 'been there, done that.' or 'at the end of the day...'. also constantly use worn-out meaningless catch-all terms like 'paradigm' and 'pro-active'.


[DISCLAIMER - Implementing these ideas is with the assumption you already know how to defend yourself from provoked attacks.]

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#313102 - 01/16/07 07:22 PM Re: Irritating people at work [Re: MattJ]
shadowkahn Offline
anti-stupid crusader

Registered: 01/03/07
Posts: 234
Quote:

Finally exasperated, they would push open the stall door, to reveal.....nobody.




That, is genius.


TV field cameras have to be white-balanced in order to record the correct colors. A favorite trick to do to interns is to tell them the tower cam needs to be white-balanced. We give them a BIG piece of white poster board and send them to a park in the middle of town, where they're instructed to face the tower and hold it over their head. Needless to say, we use the (permanently white balanced) tower cam to roll tape on this, and the people staring at the poor kid as they stroll by

The weather guys stand in front of a blue or green wall which the computer replaces with the weather map you see on TV. The process is called chroma key, but interns rarely know this. We send them out to the locksmith's to buy the chroma keys

Of course it's also a favorite trick to tell the brand new intern that the reporter can't make it in time to do the live report so they'll have to rescue us and go on camera, live, in front of half a million people. It's amazing how fast the blood can drain from a college student's face
_________________________
"Belt mean no need rope hold up pants" - Mr. Miyagi, RIP.

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