My husband was in the Navy a few years back and they would irritate people all the time especially the new kids. One kid was cocky and the older guys had enough of his know-it-all attitude. One of the petty officers asked this kid's for his help saying all the other guys just aren't capible of handling this important job (totally filling this kid's ego). He handed him a lawn trash bag and asked him to get an exhaust sample from a boat. The enginemen revved the engine up real high and got a huge cloud of exhaust. The kid was there trying to catch this exhaust sample with the lawn bag coughing and gagging the whole time. He bunched up the opening and asked what the petty officer wanted done with it. He gave him a twist tie and sent him off to the supply hanger with a list of parts that he needed to get: 100 feet of flight line, muffler bearings and brake fluid for the helicopters and a lubricant they nicknamed KY Jelly. The kid looked confused about the KY Jelly so he asked someone else what the suff was called. Luckily the guy he asked had been there a while and didn't like him. He told him that the Petty Officer was right that there is a lube that has a really long name that starts with a K just no one could pronounce it or remember what it was called. They just nicknamed it KY Jelly and everyone could remember it and to not worry the guys over in the hanger would know exactly what he was talking about. So this kid leaves and the shop called the hanger to warn them that a new kid was coming. The hanger would send him to another place (another hanger or even out on town) just to keep him away for most of the day.

Casey

some ideas come to mind:

* don't call in sick, call in dead.

* completely rearrainge the refrigerator items, especially bag lunches...put them in the vegetable drawer.

* Insist on taking random ethnic/religious holidays. "I'm observing Quanza...so I won't be in on monday."

* Bring a personal cell phone in, and set the ringtones on full volume of 'fiddler on the roof' or 'Jesus Christ Superstar'.

* Over-use every old office phrases like 'been there, done that.' or 'at the end of the day...'. also constantly use worn-out meaningless catch-all terms like 'paradigm' and 'pro-active'.


[DISCLAIMER - Implementing these ideas is with the assumption you already know how to defend yourself from provoked attacks.]