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#301107 - 11/12/06 05:47 PM Sharing a passion.
MikeChaff Offline
Member

Registered: 04/06/05
Posts: 175
Loc: England
I haven't been very happy recently. It seems that everywhere I look, I'm surrounded by people who have no interest in the martial arts. My family? They like to watch Jackie Chan movies, that's about it. My girlfriend? She thinks some of the kicks look cool - beyond that she doesn't really have much clue what goes on at the TKD club. My friends? Haha, no - most of them make fun of me or think I'm sad in some way, like I'm some sort of geek who watches Bruce Lee movies all day and then stands in front of a mirror going "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Even at my Taekwon-do class it's hard to tell who's got any real passion for what they're doing, especially since many of the members are quite young, and are therefore possibly there because of their parents or what-have-you.

In short, I feel like I don't have one single person in my life who I can talk to about my MA. I sometimes feel a bit like a rogue nutter, for having so much insatiable passion for the martial arts (I think about martial arts ALL day, every day, I am utterly obsessed) when nobody around me seems to know where I'm coming from. Today, a friend of mine who also did TKD (at another school) told me that he quit a while ago. It kinda gets me down that I seem to be the only person who really, really cares about this stuff. This is why I hang out here so much - this is the only way I can think to communicate with like-minded people, but even this is no substitute for RL friendships.
Has anyone else ever been in this position? Am I being a drip?
_________________________
~Mike

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#301108 - 11/12/06 06:09 PM Re: Sharing a passion. [Re: MikeChaff]
JKogas Offline
Prolific

Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 10818
Loc: North Carolina
Mike Chaff wrote:
Quote:

I haven't been very happy recently. It seems that everywhere I look, I'm surrounded by people who have no interest in the martial arts. My family? They like to watch Jackie Chan movies, that's about it. My girlfriend? She thinks some of the kicks look cool - beyond that she doesn't really have much clue what goes on at the TKD club. My friends? Haha, no - most of them make fun of me or think I'm sad in some way, like I'm some sort of geek who watches Bruce Lee movies all day and then stands in front of a mirror going "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Even at my Taekwon-do class it's hard to tell who's got any real passion for what they're doing, especially since many of the members are quite young, and are therefore possibly there because of their parents or what-have-you.





People who do ANYTHING at a high level seem to be few and far between. The dedication and passion that some have and feel for their endeavors is often unmatched and misunderstood by many. To be “great” at almost anything practically requires an almost pathological obsession that most simply cannot relate to. Be proud of that however. Be proud that you’re a little different and aren’t a part of the masses. That’s a GOOD thing.


Quote:


In short, I feel like I don't have one single person in my life who I can talk to about my MA. I sometimes feel a bit like a rogue nutter, for having so much insatiable passion for the martial arts (I think about martial arts ALL day, every day, I am utterly obsessed) when nobody around me seems to know where I'm coming from. Today, a friend of mine who also did TKD (at another school) told me that he quit a while ago. It kinda gets me down that I seem to be the only person who really, really cares about this stuff. This is why I hang out here so much - this is the only way I can think to communicate with like-minded people, but even this is no substitute for RL friendships.
Has anyone else ever been in this position? Am I being a drip?





I can totally relate. Fortunately I’ve been able to meet others with the same passions about martial arts. You may have better luck at other schools. Some McDojos (not saying your’s is) aren't populated by the most hardcore of martial artists. Its often better to find the less “commercialized” schools in little, out of the way places. Look around. I’m sure you’ll find other kindred spirits.

The path of the dedicated is often a lonely place. Comfort yourself with the knowledge that you’re doing and achieving more than many who surround you. Keep the faith, work hard, and give BACK. It’s through giving that you’ll discover your contentment and like-minded souls.


-John

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#301109 - 11/12/06 06:10 PM Re: Sharing a passion. [Re: MikeChaff]
Dauragon c mikado Offline


Registered: 12/09/04
Posts: 1246
Loc: Oxford, England
I have this situation every single day, except when I'm around the people I train with, it is strange, a very strange emotion indeed when you sit down and think about it.
But I don't really mind, I just think of it like I'm in on a joke that they totally fail to understand, that type of thing.

What you have to realise is that, ULTIMATLY martial arts is a lonely pursuit, if you do it so you can show off to people, eventually you'll become old news and you will get bored anyway.
Martial arts is indeed all about YOU, depending on what you learn through it, it can change your outlook entirely.

A lonely pursuit...
_________________________
The way of the warrior is a resolute acceptance of death. -Musashi

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#301110 - 11/12/06 07:12 PM Re: Sharing a passion. [Re: MikeChaff]
MattJ Offline
Free Rhinoplasty!
Prolific

Registered: 11/25/04
Posts: 15634
Loc: York PA. USA
Good posts by JKogas and DCM. They both summed it up very well. Is lack of social support something that would have an effect on your continued training, Mike?
_________________________
"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

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#301111 - 11/12/06 07:38 PM Re: Sharing a passion. [Re: MattJ]
MikeChaff Offline
Member

Registered: 04/06/05
Posts: 175
Loc: England
Not really. I would probably continue to practice Taekwondo even if it became a crime.
Every day I wish someone could see things my way. Then I go home and I practise my kicks anyway.
So, no, I'm not in danger of quitting over it. At all. The only negative impact it has on my training is, I can never practise sparring or doing any partner exercises outside class, because nobody I know wants to help.
My girlfriend does try to help, it's very sweet, but these attempts usually end badly, and there's not much she can safely do with me, and it's generally better all around if we just don't go there.
So, sometimes I get frustrated especially at the fact that I really need a MA training buddy. But will it stop me? No.

I was just wondering if it was just me who felt like this, and if not, if anyone could help me deal with this negative emotion and turn it into something productive. The posts so far have been very helpful, and I'm grateful
_________________________
~Mike

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#301112 - 11/12/06 07:51 PM Re: Sharing a passion. [Re: MikeChaff]
JKogas Offline
Prolific

Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 10818
Loc: North Carolina
Quote:


I was just wondering if it was just me who felt like this, and if not, if anyone could help me deal with this negative emotion and turn it into something productive. The posts so far have been very helpful, and I'm grateful





How old are you pal? I'm guessing you're younger than some of us here.

Man, keep on keeping on. Pay attention to your 'self talk' and ALWAYS spin things toward a positive light. Look at it like you are simply ahead of the pack. Be proud of who you are and what you're doing. Make it a cause and work ever harder to fully separate yourself from the pack even more. Then when you encounter others who have done the same thing, you'll be in some incredibly select company!




Take care and work hard(er)


-John

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#301113 - 11/12/06 08:56 PM Re: Sharing a passion. [Re: JKogas]
MikeChaff Offline
Member

Registered: 04/06/05
Posts: 175
Loc: England
Yeah, I'm quite young, I'm 20 now, turning 21 just after Christmas. I'm not surprised that you picked up on my n00bishness... I figure I have a lot to learn

Anyhow, that's a pretty cool spin you have there on the situation. I like that I know you have to be right, anyway. Those who don't dedicate themselves as much as me will never reach the level I will eventually reach with my training... right? They don't 'have what it takes'.
_________________________
~Mike

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#301114 - 11/12/06 09:17 PM Re: Sharing a passion. [Re: MikeChaff]
Dauragon c mikado Offline


Registered: 12/09/04
Posts: 1246
Loc: Oxford, England
Dont have what it takes huh?

Where abouts in England are you?
_________________________
The way of the warrior is a resolute acceptance of death. -Musashi

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#301115 - 11/12/06 09:35 PM Re: Sharing a passion. [Re: MikeChaff]
JKogas Offline
Prolific

Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 10818
Loc: North Carolina
MikeChaff wrote:
Quote:

Yeah, I'm quite young, I'm 20 now, turning 21 just after Christmas. I'm not surprised that you picked up on my n00bishness... I figure I have a lot to learn.





That’s not a bad thing though little bro. The most important thing is to keep the right attitude and associate only with quality people – people who will support and believe in you. Regardless of that, you have to believe in yourself even when it appears that no one else does.

Maintain the right attitude and learn everything you can. Develop a superior work ethic and place character above personality. So few do these days. You can go as far as you want as you’re still so young. Find a good mentor if possible.


Quote:


Anyhow, that's a pretty cool spin you have there on the situation. I like that I know you have to be right, anyway. Those who don't dedicate themselves as much as me will never reach the level I will eventually reach with my training... right? They don't 'have what it takes'.





Well, you get out of anything what you put into it so, those with the dedication and desire to be their best no matter what will often succeed. Like I said, the “best” have an almost “psycho” level of determination and perseverance. Its all in how strong the will is. Master yours.

Stay in touch and let me know I can help. At MY age (41, but don’t make the mistake of thinking I’m “old”), I want to help the younger folks as much as possible. Email me sometime so I’ll have your address. You can find mine on my profile page (clicking my user name).

Take care!



-John

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#301116 - 11/12/06 09:44 PM Re: Sharing a passion. [Re: JKogas]
MikeChaff Offline
Member

Registered: 04/06/05
Posts: 175
Loc: England
John:
Thanks for the offer of email support, I may well take you up on that sometime. You're an inspiration to me already You mentioned to try to 'associate only with quality people'... should I try to put a bit of distance between me and these 'friends' who always laugh at me?

Dauragon:
I'm in Kent, old bean Maidstone to be precise... most of the time anyway. I actually train in Canterbury, though. So... yeah. The south-east. *grabs a jousting lance*
_________________________
~Mike

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