Q: Can we have a [whatever] discussion area created?
A: yes. here's how: go to the 'general talk' forum and hit 'new thread', subject: [whatever].

Q: Can we get a spelcheker put in?
A: yes, but it would be cheaper and quicker if you enrolled in an English course at your local community college.

Q: I bought something from the forum store, but I dont want it, and want my money back...what should I do?
A: www.e-bay.com

Q: Whats up with the sucky search function?
A: That question was already posted.

Q: My computer is 14 years old and I'm on a modem that communicates via morse code at a 4k baud rate, allowing me to post only once a day max.
A: perfect.

Q: my mailbox is full, what should I do?
A: Tell no one. I'm deleting this question and will immediately contact you by PM. keep this between us.

Always friendly and helpful here at FA.com! Unless you are an idiot!

I must be an idiot then

And Ed's out of the gate at a gallop ... wait till he gets a head of steam on him.

Student: "What are we going to do in class tonight?"

Me: "Practise martial arts."

bump

thought of some more...

Q: Why was my post deleted/locked/edited?
A: Did you disagree with a moderator or ask them an awkward question?

Q: Why is the forum so slow?
A: It's either because we've had a surge of Tai'chi members posting, or the new 'dumb question filter module' installed on the server yesterday is bogged down.

Q: Can we have a chat room?
A: No. Shut up and train.

Q: Would it be possible to have a forum avatar?
A: no. for two reasons: 1. 'Avatar' in sanskrit means 'incarnation', and incarnation has been banned on this forum site. 2. If I give you one, then everyone will want one.

Q: Can we elect a 'member of the month' ?
A: That would violate our strict 'no porn' policy, sorry.

Q: Why does my forum title now say 'Spanish Inquisitor'?
A: Don't ask me, I didn't do it.

bump again

Q: Hey guys! I'm new here and I love this site! Can you guys tell me what martial art is best for me? Ya know, for the streets and stuff?

A: We could, but that secret is kept between real martial artists. You have to visit each dojo in your area and ask each instructor individually and in person.

Q: Hi! I need help! I'd like to lose 10lbs right away. What can I do?

A: Cut off your head.

Q: My friend knows this guy at work that said his neighbor's cousin's live in life partner took TKD and it's no good for the streets. Is this true? Should I quit?

A: No. You should find him and kick his ass.

Q: Can I have my filter time reduced? I only made one bad post.

A: Certainly, just visit each moderator, in person, with in the next week, and request in writing, to have your filter lifted. Make sure each written request has a self addressed stamped envelope as the moderators will not respond verbally.Once you have each individual response, return to the forum on line with scanned copies of the responses and upload them in the "Martial Arts stories" forum. Tell the whole story there and await a decision by the forum administrator. We could all use the laugh.

Q: I was given a filter for expressing my thoughts, can I have it removed?

A: No, you're a troll.

Q: My post was moved to a different forum. can it be moved back to the more appropriate one in my opinion?

A: No, you're post belongs where it is. You are a troll.

Q: Can I...

A: No troll.

Q:...

A: NO! Dam stinking troll.

Q: But I am your mothe..

A: That's it, you're banned...Troll.

Q. I have XYZ medical problem and thought it would be best to post questions about it on a martial arts forum from total strangers rather than talking to someone qualified and in person. Am I smart or what?

A. You are "clearly an idiot." Contact The_Master, he is our resident doctor genius.

Q. The school bully keeps picking on me and told me that he is going to fight me this Friday after school. It's only 4 days away so i need help fast. Is there a technique i can learn that will beat him?

A. Yes...tell your mom, dad will just laugh at you.

Q. I live in a remote location that has no schools, can i learn martail arts on youtube? And no i can't tell you where i'm from because i'm afraid you will steel my identity.

A. Yes...i suggest you study as many of the Chosin ninja videos as you can then pick a fight with the biggest redneck you can find to test your skills.

"What would you say if I called you a 'c********r' to see if you were a true martial artist?"

I'd suggest you go down to the nearest dockside MMA training establishment (the one with all the Harleys outside) and find the biggest, nastiest, tattoo covered member and try the test on him (or her).

Q: I have created my own martial art. Here's the video. What do you think?

A: Come fight me right now.

Q: Yes?

A: No.