My 12 year old son has been taking TKD and im worried. He has been training in shotokan karate with me since he was 7, and he has very powerful kicks and punches for his age. His instructor is a nice guy and my son enjoys TKD more then shotokan, since im guessing its more "flashy", but the place seems to be a mcdojo to be honest. I don't want to dissapoint him by taking him out of the class, but the fact of the matter is that they award students simply by how long they have been going, and its utter and complete crap. I know my son is at least 3x as good as some of the brown/"black" belts, and he has only been there for about 2 months. He is a yellow belt now and i dont want to take him out simply because i think its a mcdojo, because i don't think he would fully understand, but at the same time i dont want him to stay and learn improperly if TKD is his thing. There aren't many TKD schools around here so im kind of beteween a rock and a hard place.

just a blind recommedation for that age group which happens to have prior karate/tkd training, but looking for a new place.

Introduce them to dissimilar arts - watch a judo, aikido or boxing class with him sometime and see what he thinks about trying a few classes.

Tough 1 here.

I think I agree with this advice. Maybe you look for another place & if you find a more wholesome school, sign him up, but then let him make the choice.
At that age, he might be happy, even though you are not. Thats just the way it works out, but it usually happens that way. In any event, talk to him about it. Good luck to both of you.

Hello Alphawolf:



Your question seems odd to me. Are you genuinely asking whether you should permit your son to learn something that you believe strongly is entirely worthless, and has no merit but, that he finds fun? Where is the rock OR the "hard place" in this decision? What am I missing...?

Pull him out...

Jeff

Perhaps it should be HIS choice which path HE chooses.... and for you to remain open to the possibility that he may one day return to the path you have opened for him (and kept open for him) since he was 7.

I've noted that TKD appeals to young people. It is a good workout, the kicking practice is strengthening, and often the dojos have larger and younger classes...and a good opportunity for socializing.

Like picking your son's friends...you can't say 'don't see this person anymore' and expect teenage compliance; they like who they like and given time they (hopefully) outgrow the ones that aren't good for them.

Besides...what is so great about Shotokan anyway? Be grateful he hasn't quit.

lol the reason he hasn't quit is because i am the one teaching him, he can't escape from home

Fatherly expectations aside, it would be unwise to force upon your son, what you wouldn't force upon your students - they should be free to choose (and in fact be encouraged to do so) whoever they train with.

But its not like hes taking his son there to socialise, hes taking him there to learn self defence, and I personally think that if thats the kind of school where nobody tries then it would be wise to take him to anoter school. i just know im gonna get flamed for this but it seems a waste of money to take him to a place where he learns nothing.

For what it is worth, I would sit him down, and talk to him about it. Explain your reasoning for wanting him to train somewhere else.

After that, leave the decision in his hands.

I know he is not an adult, but at one point or another, parents have to start to respect their children's decisions, whether they agree with them or not.

If you force him into a decision he doesnt want; force him to a training method or school he dislikes, for whatever reason, I think we both know that will turn out.

G