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#263713 - 06/15/06 07:03 PM Improving one's personality?
SpeedyGonzales Offline

Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 320
Three questions please:

Concerning the Moral aspects of personality:
1. How would one go about doing this?
2. Is it possible to do by oneself?

Concerning the Non-Moral aspects of personality:
3. Is there such a thing or should I just be myself even
if other people don't like me (This question strictly
concerning the non-moral aspects of personality)?

#263714 - 06/15/06 08:12 PM Re: Improving one's personality? [Re: SpeedyGonzales]
butterfly Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 08/25/04
Posts: 3012
Loc: Torrance, CA
I think this is a bit simpler than what your post might be exploring.

Forget about morality for the moment --or it’s concession to either a contextual arrangement within a culture or to other higher, pan-societal truths.

The problem for anyone who wants to commit to changing something within him or herself is to have an awareness that what one does is not good. Whether this is reflected in a physical manifestation of self-harm, regardless of the psychological reasons (attempted suicide, drug addiction, food disorders etc) or considered purely in a conscientious way, where there is a sense of guilt present (say, at dishonesty or bad behavior, or in unjustified harm to others that brings up self-condemnation). Whatever the situation, there has to be present some internal understanding that what one continues to do is harmful in someway to your physical or psychological wellbeing.

Whatever the “moral” concerns are, you have to do two things: 1) Recognize that something is “wrong”; and 2) Then do something about it.

Drug addicted people have gone through treatment centers as well as those with food disorders. People have changed themselves when they wish to be more honest or less prideful or less angry. People have done things by themselves, but perhaps it is easier to seek help in clearing some of these concerns from a particular personality. Treatment, though, might be outside flying solo.

If there is no awareness of "wrongness," then no real reason to change.


#263715 - 06/15/06 10:26 PM Re: Improving one's personality? [Re: butterfly]
SpeedyGonzales Offline

Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 320
I am aware much of my behavior [censored] people off.

I know much of it is a moral thing. People sy I'm confrontational like I want to fight, and taht I aregue unecessarily.

Some of it is outside of morals, personality traits that are not good or bad but simply imcompatable with most people.

Since the issue is about being aware what is wrong, can anyone please point out just based on my posts what is morally wrong?

I know this is a strange request, but I would appreciate any response, even if it is an insult, there may be truth in the insult.

Thanks you in advance.

#263716 - 06/15/06 11:07 PM Re: Improving one's personality? [Re: SpeedyGonzales]
Ed_Morris Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 6772
the trivial: learn to spell and watch your grammer. awareness to more detail in the way you communicate is the goal.

the meat-n-potatas: so you have a passionate personality...nothing wrong with that - now you just need to learn how to control it. Try humor at your own expense to lighten things up when talking to people. The laughter it might generate may serve to ease the tension in your voice/body language.

I don't know, so I'm just throwing random things out there....kindof like how I spar.

(thats an example of humor at my own expense )

#263717 - 06/16/06 05:30 PM Re: Improving one's personality? [Re: Ed_Morris]
SpeedyGonzales Offline

Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 320
I see. Thank you for the insight. I will try to practice more self-control.

#263718 - 06/16/06 07:21 PM Re: Improving one's personality? [Re: SpeedyGonzales]
harlan Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 07/31/04
Posts: 6665
Loc: Amherst, MA
1. Set a goal. It is a simple at that. Who do you want people to see? Personalities are always in flux...and if we are spoiled, or allow ourselves to become damaged or lazy, the end result may be a person we don't care to be.

2. Look around for a good role model to emulate. Not just on the surface...but look for the deeper sensibilities that shaped their personalities over time. Strive for ideals.

3. Cultivate compassion. If nothing else, a life devoted to acting out of compassion will change a person for the better.

#263719 - 06/17/06 01:32 PM Re: Improving one's personality? [Re: SpeedyGonzales]
trevek Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 05/15/05
Posts: 3337
Loc: Poland
Michael Foucault considers the 'technology of self', where an individual undertakes a serious of moperations upon themself to achieve some kind of desired perfection. This can be done as an individual or with the 'help' of others.

What you'd need to do is decide what it is about you that you feel might need to be improved. What is it that others seem to object too. If you feel they have a right to be offended then maybe you actually believe they are right and there is something which you need to change.

However, it may be that you feel they are in the wrong and simply decide to moderate your behaviour in their presence.

What you need to do is decide what model you wish to be.

Is it your morals which are the problem or theirs?
See how well I block your punches with my jaw!!

Supporting everyone saying "nuts to cancer"

#263720 - 06/17/06 06:01 PM Re: Improving one's personality? [Re: trevek]
SpeedyGonzales Offline

Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 320
Well to give you an example, many people say that when I say "I'm being honest" I am really being rude and insulting. I honestly am not sure which side is in the wrong, I guess it depends on the situation, but it was always my thinking to be honest all the time. But many people get offended by taking it in a different way I intended/meant. Some people also say I sound sarcastic or cynical when I meant to say things in a casual way.

#263721 - 06/17/06 10:11 PM Re: Improving one's personality? [Re: SpeedyGonzales]
harlan Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 07/31/04
Posts: 6665
Loc: Amherst, MA
'There is no such thing as no communication...just miscommunication.' Work on your communication skills.

#263722 - 06/18/06 10:06 PM Re: Improving one's personality? [Re: SpeedyGonzales]
JoelM Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 07/26/04
Posts: 6355
Loc: Georgia, USA
Speedy, if you're talking about internet communication then nobody can tell the inflection of your voice, see your mannerisms, and many other components of communication. Many arguements arise from people reading too much or too little into what others are saying. But this works two ways, people have to word themselves correctly, and at the same time read what others are saying correctly. Neither of which are the easiest things to do.

You can be rude and honest at the same time. But where does it get you? Into an arguement and nobody wins. If you are honest and polite, then you can have a meaningful discussion.

Your (and many other peoples') problem is not in what you say, but how you say it. You could call this ' tact '.

You see, I could say

"you're an idiot and don't know how to talk to people"

or I could say

"with better choices of wording, people can communicate more effectively."

Something like that....
We should all take ourselves seriously...and then crumple that image up and toss it out the window.


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