Hello all,

A couple of weeks ago I was at a bbq celebrating with a pal about his new found home. Anyhow, drinking of course was invovled and after a couple of tall ones me and my friends, as I'm sure we all do, get loud... really freaking loud not obnoxious or anything just telling old stories and making up mamadas (spanish for ridiculous funny lies) when some foolish friend of a friend comes over near us to the keg and takes offense to our laughter and asks my friend what his problem is.

I basically stood up in amazement that some fool would come around to a group of five and have the balls to start arguing. So I stood not to far away from him, I realized that he already had somewhat bruises on his face possibly from a previous fight and thought that if he took another step I would strike him at the temple with a hook or a jab to the throat. Before I could do that though, I would have to fight the brick that sat in my stomach.

I post this here because I would like to know how the rest of you who have been invovled in confrentations have dealt with this "nervouseness" or whatever it may be. With live training did it disapate?

I think for me it is that fear of the unknown, will I take it too far and slam his face into the pavement and kill him? Will his friend pull out a knife? All these things hold me back every time, while these emotions have kept me from getting into some fights they are still a major hinderence when action is needed.

Luckily the fool eventually backed off and only words were exchanged, but I would like for in the future not to feel any discomfort. So I ask again, how have you all dealt with this and pulled through even while it weighs you down?

Ooooooh boy! Sorry to be the one to tell you this but you can never get rid of that feeling.
It's caused by adrenaline and there is not one thing you can do to stop it. It is something, that with the correct stimulus in training, you can get used to.

One thing in your story concerns me though.

"..and thought that if he took another step I would strike him at the temple with a hook or a jab to the throat. Before I could do that though, I would have to fight the brick that sat in my stomach."

I think that if you are ever in a similar situation you should have the technique you are going to use first already decided.
If at the time it comes on top you are deciding what to do...you will probably do nothing. Known by some people as a "log jam," you will have a moments hesitation as you decide what to do and as we all know, "He who hesitates is lost."
Believe me when I tell you this because I have been there. It is quite common, apparently, amongst MAists because of learning a gazillion different techniques. When it comes to use one which one is best? While you're choosing you're likely to get hit so along with practising all your usual stuff you should have a number 1 technique. Your strongest, fastest, most effective technique would be the one to go with and practise this as your pre-emptive weapon.

Something else in your post also needs dealing with...

"..I think for me it is that fear of the unknown, will I take it too far and slam his face into the pavement and kill him? Will his friend pull out a knife? All these things hold me back every time, while these emotions have kept me from getting into some fights they are still a major hinderence when action is needed."

This is pre, post-fight fear. Another thing any of us that are not socio/psycho paths have to deal with. Once again, fairly normal.
However, it is something that you need to address before you go into a confrontation again. If you go in filled with concerns as to the aftermath of any given situation and the consequences then you are going in half hearted and that will do you no good whatsoever. These sorts of things need to be addressed by all MAists as when a confrontation is imminent is not the time to be burdened with them.
Be sure in your mind that if you commit to going in physically then you are able to deal with the consequences, no matter what they may be.

Don't let your own mind defeat you.
Either in 100% or out 100%, anything in between could get you hurt.

McSensei,

I had figured, once committed to a "if he comes any closer" position, I would try to just empty my mind of other thoughts, relax, slow things down, soften my eyes for seeing "everything" and let the decision be his. If I think ANYTHING - maybe it would be "line drill" over and over like a mantra.

In my mind (here and now) this means having no emotion about it at all - in the moment. That makes me more comfortable about not going blood-crazy.

But I have never experienced this.

Is this a pipedream?

Hhrmm, thanks for the honesty and advice.

I'll have to keep all of this mind next time I'm training, and be in no thought the next time a situation arises.

Again, thanks.

I have the hardest time hitting somebody as hard as I can.

In one of my first fights me and a senior were arguing after school, he swung his helmet at me and I blocked it, he then proceded to pick me up and throw me on to the pavement

then he was standing there yelling at me asking who I thought I was...

and It was like even though I had every move I wanted to do planned in my head, I didn't want to fight back because of the legal consenquences, I mean he was parked right in front of my house.

It is funny how I thought, I mean... he swung his helmet at me and threw me in to the concrete and I was afraid of hurting him?

I understand that I train more then the average kid. And you, for just being on this forum probably train more then the average adult.

If we were to get in to a fight because of any reason OTHER then self-defence or to protect somebody else...

then we are acting like superman playing football

the hardest thing for me to get over was to NOT fight because of my EGO.

if it is a self-defence situation, and the atacker is truly trying to harm you then I don't see any problem laying him out, even then it is probably a good idea to use minimal force.

(and is there a such thing as a "physical" block? I mean nothing physical is stopping you from hitting the other person, so everything must then be mental)