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#244278 - 04/13/06 12:42 AM Re: a Post for Guys [Re: Stormdragon]
BrianS Offline
Higher rank than you
Professional Poster

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 5959
Loc: Northwest Arkansas
Quote:

Quote:

Quote:

Good quote Brian, good quote.
Now, I got another problem that's been bothering me for sometime.
See I'm the kind of person who constantly worries about other people's opinions of me and how the view me and I tend to look for all the negative possibilities. Oh and I'm very self concious, and obsessive compulsive somewhat.
What can I do to deal with these problems?




Hate to say it but you sound a lot like me back then ... and maybe slightly still this way but not near as much. Trust me, if people don't like you for who you are then don't sweat it. If you sweat the small stuff then it will continually eat at you and you don't want that. I always look for the negative still ... what you need to do is find a nice young lady who always looks for the positive so she can balance you out ... easier said then done.

You are young and have years a head of you. Make them the best years of your life so that this carries into your adult life. I know this is not telling you anything that you probably don't already know but hey ... I'm not Dr. Phil.

I feel for you for sure. It has taken me until just this last July to make some positive changes in my life and it is hard to break old habits. Start some good habits now and "believe" in yourself. Show confidence and you will find things will change for the better ... and the girls will like the confidence as well.

Take care little brother.




Dereck, I can't tell you how much better I feel. I actually did know a lot of that, but having it come from someone whose actually been in my place, and not from an impersonal self help book, gives me a ton of hope and encouragement! Talking about this stuff with real people who've had similar experiences and can really understand and relate is very motivating. Thanks so much.





Ya know,Dereck and I have lots in common and it seems we do with you to. That's some good advice there Dereck.

"When you stop seeking it,you will find it."
_________________________
The2nd ammendment, it makes all the others possible. <///<




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#244279 - 04/13/06 01:55 AM Re: a Post for Guys [Re: BrianS]
Dereck Offline
Prolific

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10413
Loc: Great White North
One for Brian
One for Stormdragon
_________________________
"IF I COME ... I'M BRINGING THE PAIN WITH ME"

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#244280 - 04/13/06 04:09 AM Re: a Post for Guys [Re: Dereck]
Gavin Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 05/11/05
Posts: 2267
Loc: Southend, Essex, UK
***GROUP HUG***

Manly bonding moment against those evil womenfolk!!!!
_________________________
Gavin King
www.SHIKON.COM
Follow me on twitter @taichigav

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#244281 - 04/14/06 01:04 PM Re: a Post for Guys [Re: Gavin]
Stormdragon Offline
Who Dares Wins
Professional Poster

Registered: 08/05/04
Posts: 3409
Loc: Salem, OR
The girl I'm most interested in right now is one of my closest friends and I'm interested in a relationship. We are both attracted to each other as far as looks and personality goes, we are really open with each other, and she thinks I'd be great in a relationship, and vice versa. Problem is she is stuck on her ex and has been since they broke up a couple monthes ago, and is utterly convinced that she only sees me as a friend and that she has no other feelings for me. She says she didn't feel a spark when we tried a relationship the first time. Could that change? Do any of you have experience with those feelings changing for someone?
_________________________
Member of DaJoGen MMA school under Dave Hagen and Team Chaos fight team under Denver Mangiyatan and Chris Toquero, ran out of Zanshin Martial Arts in Salem Oregon: http://www.zanshinarts.org/Home.aspx,

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#244282 - 04/14/06 07:48 PM Re: a Post for Guys [Re: Stormdragon]
Dereck Offline
Prolific

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10413
Loc: Great White North
Stormdragon, right now she wants to be a friend and I think with the ex situation things would not workout. Give her more time and still be her friend but let her know your feelings. Give it time and see what happens. If nothing does then you still have a friend. Relationships like this rarely have a chance of working out ... rarely ... but not impossible. Be open and let her know you are there for her when she needs you ... and if she ever finds those same feelings.

Just to let you know, you are young and trying to find your way and things WILL get better ... I promise, because I know it in my heart. You may not believe it now but I honestly believe that good people have good things happen to them. It may not be today but it will happen. And like Brian said earlier, it will be when you least expect it.
_________________________
"IF I COME ... I'M BRINGING THE PAIN WITH ME"

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#244283 - 04/14/06 08:03 PM Re: a Post for Guys [Re: Dereck]
Stormdragon Offline
Who Dares Wins
Professional Poster

Registered: 08/05/04
Posts: 3409
Loc: Salem, OR
Thanks Dereck, I'll definetly keep all that in mind. I do have my whole life ahead of me so there really is no need to rush at all. I have a habit of jumping into things prematurely, somthing to work on I suppose.
_________________________
Member of DaJoGen MMA school under Dave Hagen and Team Chaos fight team under Denver Mangiyatan and Chris Toquero, ran out of Zanshin Martial Arts in Salem Oregon: http://www.zanshinarts.org/Home.aspx,

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#244284 - 04/14/06 08:46 PM Re: a Post for Guys [Re: Stormdragon]
Dereck Offline
Prolific

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 10413
Loc: Great White North
When we were infants we touched and smelled and licked and tasted; all ways of learning. As children we did similar things testing our limits to further learn. Now as a young adult you are still learning and you have to try things to see what works and what doesn't. Then as an adult you will be doing similar things but you will be slightly smarter from your previous experiences.

Life no matter what age is about learning and we need to feel our way. New experiences we are nothing but infants. But things do get easier as you get older ... better ... as long as you learned some good leasons in life. But even as we get older we still have to be open to learning more. I've learned so much more since July; I'm happier and even more giving. Sometimes I am finding I'm carrying my emotions on my sleeve.

Last night we had visited a friend and he talked about a song that he had heard years ago at his Grandma's funeral that touched him but he could never figure out who sung it. When I got home in the early morning I searched the internet and found it. As I had already planned to go to West Edmonton Mall for some CD's for myself ... one being Crossfade ( ) ... I also picked up this CD for him and dropped it off. He was asleep as he works night shifts so I gave it to his wife and she was extremely thankful. I got a call just a short time ago with a thank you and some tears in his voice. That is the newer me because I've learned so much more.

You are learning and will continue to learn. You will make some bad choices but you will make many good choices because you will become smarter. Be that infant when needed to find your way in life so that you can mature and grow. Just be happy ... happiness is so contagious and makes life so much better.
_________________________
"IF I COME ... I'M BRINGING THE PAIN WITH ME"

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#244285 - 04/14/06 10:52 PM Re: a Post for Guys [Re: Dereck]
Mr_Heretik Offline
Veteran

Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 1074
Loc: Bronx NY, USA
Its so weird to me to see the mods talk about this kind of stuff. I always thought they were the tough-as-nails officers of the boards...with their uniform which consists of a green name and a huge number of posts.

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#244286 - 04/15/06 01:26 AM Re: a Post for Guys [Re: Mr_Heretik]
Stormdragon Offline
Who Dares Wins
Professional Poster

Registered: 08/05/04
Posts: 3409
Loc: Salem, OR
Dereck, thanks again, that was one heck of an inspirational and motivating mini speech there. Oh and glad you like Crossfade, they are a really good band. I think I'm going to go ahead and get myself some new music pretty soon.
Have a great weekend aight.
_________________________
Member of DaJoGen MMA school under Dave Hagen and Team Chaos fight team under Denver Mangiyatan and Chris Toquero, ran out of Zanshin Martial Arts in Salem Oregon: http://www.zanshinarts.org/Home.aspx,

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#244287 - 04/15/06 02:37 AM Re: a Post for Guys [Re: Stormdragon]
ADHDoka Offline
Member

Registered: 03/26/06
Posts: 35
Loc: Santa Rosa, California
wow, i am in a similar situation to you SD (i think) and everyone on this post sounds so much like what i want and need to hear, i just popped in and wow! you guys have some incredible insight, better advice than ive seen given in most situations, better yet, (but unfortunate) based on personal experience, so even if it wasnt you guys were trying to help, i would like to thank you guys for the third party advice
_________________________
never dishonor an opponent, leave him with a lesson learned

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