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#232017 - 02/17/06 07:53 PM Please help me
Stormdragon Offline
Who Dares Wins
Professional Poster

Registered: 08/05/04
Posts: 3409
Loc: Salem, OR
Sorry if this isn't the right place to put a topic like this but I could really use some advice.
How does a person deal with fear, anxiety, feelings of hoplessness and stress. lately I've had to deal with all of these for various reasons, and I just dont know how to handle it. If any of you have experience with this sort of thing, let me know how you dealt with it.
_________________________
Member of DaJoGen MMA school under Dave Hagen and Team Chaos fight team under Denver Mangiyatan and Chris Toquero, ran out of Zanshin Martial Arts in Salem Oregon: http://www.zanshinarts.org/Home.aspx,

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#232018 - 02/17/06 08:13 PM Re: Please help me [Re: Stormdragon]
Dudley32 Offline
master of disaster

Registered: 10/25/05
Posts: 482
Loc: Indiana
well I have gone through what you are and I have ways of dealing with it, but it is through religious ways so if you want more info on how I do, pm me.

Matt
_________________________
Practice doesn't make perfect. Perfect Practice makes perfect.

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#232019 - 02/17/06 09:31 PM Re: Please help me [Re: Stormdragon]
oldman Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5884
Storm,
It is not uncommon to experience unpleasant states and emotions at different times in our life. A good place to start is with a conversation with and check up by a doctor. Those feelings can have physical origins and causes. Along with that you can also talk with a trused family member, coach, minister or counselor. The can help you gain insight into how and why you feel the way you do.
At diffiult periods in my life I have done just what I have suggested to you and have benefitted greatly from compassionate care from caring and experienced people.
Because of my experiences I have made it a point to encourage others who find themselves in similar circumstances. I have also recieved training in congregational care. I'm not a professional counselor. I help provide support for people in our community facing difficult situation like Divorce, loss of a loved one, unemployment and depression. If you would like to pm me feel free to. At the times in our live when it is hard to be hopefull it is good to be surrounded by people who can help us regain our hope and passion in living.

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#232020 - 02/18/06 09:08 AM Re: Please help me [Re: Stormdragon]
WuXing Offline
Member

Registered: 10/24/05
Posts: 481
Loc: Idaho, USA
I have felt all those feelings, too. As this is the Zen/meditation forum, here's something from Guatama Buddha:
"Now this, monks, is the noble truth of stress: Birth is stressful, aging is stressful, death is stressful; sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, & despair are stressful; association with the unbeloved is stressful, separation from the loved is stressful, not getting what is wanted is stressful. In short, the five clinging-aggregates are stressful.

"And this, monks, is the noble truth of the origination of stress: the craving that makes for further becoming accompanied by passion & delight, relishing now here & now there i.e., craving for sensual pleasure, craving for becoming, craving for non-becoming.

"And this, monks, is the noble truth of the cessation of stress: the remainderless fading & cessation, renunciation, relinquishment, release, & letting go of that very craving.

"And this, monks, is the noble truth of the way of practice leading to the cessation of stress: precisely this Noble Eightfold Path right view, right resolve, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration."

Meditation is a part of the eightfold path, the way to the cessation of suffering. It is the practice of calming and centering the mind, learning to observe feelings and phenomena, and getting in touch with the source that is never disturbed.
Maybe practicing meditation can help ease your mind. Learning the basics isn't hard, if you've never done it before.


"I fear that I am ordinary, just like everyone.
To lie here and die among the sorrows,
adrift among the days.
And everything I ever said and everything I've done is gone and dead.
As all things must surely have to end.
Great loves one day have to part.
I know that I am meant for this world...

And in my mind as I was floating far above the clouds
some children laughed, I'd fall for certain
thinking that I'd live forever...
But I knew exactly where I was
and I knew the meaning of it all
and I knew the distance to the sun
and I knew the echo that is love
and I knew the secrets in your spires
and I knew the emptiness of youth
and I knew the solitude of heart
and I knew the murmurs of the soul...
And the world is drawn into your hands
and the world is etched upon your heart
and the world, so hard to understand
is the world you can't live without...

And I knew the silence of the world."
-Muzzle, by Smashing Pumpkins

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#232021 - 02/18/06 04:04 PM Re: Please help me [Re: Stormdragon]
trevek Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 05/15/05
Posts: 3337
Loc: Poland
Stormdragon,
sometimes the fear of not being able to cope, or not being able to live upto what you think others expect of you, is the biggest problem.

The advice about talking with someone is good. Don't suffer alone.

I'm not qualified and I can't make promises, but, like the others, if I'm able to be of help you can pm me too.
_________________________
See how well I block your punches with my jaw!!

Supporting everyone saying "nuts to cancer"

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#232022 - 02/20/06 04:17 PM Re: Please help me [Re: Stormdragon]
umsangil Offline
Member

Registered: 07/22/05
Posts: 83
Meditation, training, talking to trusted positive people help greatly. If fear is a problem I also recommend reading Geoff Thompson's book on fear. He provided a lot of functional advice. Also it might help to understand your body's physiological reactions to fear/stress, etc. Stay strong youll get though this difficult time.

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#232023 - 02/22/06 11:04 AM Re: Please help me [Re: umsangil]
Stormdragon Offline
Who Dares Wins
Professional Poster

Registered: 08/05/04
Posts: 3409
Loc: Salem, OR
Thank you everyone for your replies and asvice, it is much appreciated. A lot of my problem does come from fear, fear of not being accepted, of not living up to the expectations and standards of others, etc. Losing friends and relationships and things like that.
And mu Obsessve compulsive disorder doesn't help things any.
_________________________
Member of DaJoGen MMA school under Dave Hagen and Team Chaos fight team under Denver Mangiyatan and Chris Toquero, ran out of Zanshin Martial Arts in Salem Oregon: http://www.zanshinarts.org/Home.aspx,

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#232024 - 02/24/06 02:15 AM Re: Please help me [Re: Stormdragon]
Foolsgold Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/02/04
Posts: 1635
Loc: South Lyon, MI, USA
If your fears and anxiety are serious, don't hesitate to let somebody smart that you trust know. Between you and them, you can figure out what to do.

Aside from that, I strongly suggest reading a quality comic book cover to cover. During a depression it seems to help to step back and take ourselves less seriously. (I recommend Dilbert or some good ole Calvin and Hobbes.)
_________________________
Soy stupido, pero soy guapo!

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#232025 - 02/24/06 08:04 AM Re: Please help me [Re: Foolsgold]
harlan Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 07/31/04
Posts: 6664
Loc: Amherst, MA
Wise words from Foolsgold!

All those stupid cliches about laughing...they are true. Practice finding humor, as it helps maintain a positive outlook, which in turn lessens the impact of stress on the mind/body/spirit. Seek for things that make you feel really good/well, and lighten your spirit. Reading uplifting things (the forum, a book, etc.), practicing your martial art, helping out others...these kinds of activities have a wholistic positive effect.


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#232026 - 02/24/06 08:38 AM Re: Please help me [Re: harlan]
Ed_Morris Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 6772
and what better place to start than here!:

URL deleted by moderator

Sorry, Ed. But this link now points to a more...wild...version.



Edited by harlan (03/03/06 12:04 PM)

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