Here's the problem. Guys are automatically set up for failure by having valentines day,it's some sort of man hating conspiracy and eventually every man will get in trouble over it.
YOU MUST by flowers!
YOU MUST buy chocolate!
YOU MUST buy a card!
YOU MUST buy a stuffed animal with hearts on it!

All of these are cliche' and will fail you eventually for different reasons.

Oficially I bought my girlfriend a dozen roses,chocolate,and pretty pink heart pajamas. Luckily,this is not my year and I passed the test!!
If the test failed I would have gone for the RNC and tell her later that she fainted in the presence of my spectacular gift!!

Hello MattJ:

Await her return from work... kow-tow genuinely and profusely and offer her your sharpest blade... completely in earnest.

Alternatively, try finding a pretty PLANT at the local stores??? Alternatively take the pedals spread them on the bed, sheets, pillows (with her card correct) and well.... hope ?

I feel you pain brother, I do feel your pain....

J (Bruised from head to toe by his beautiful, wonderful wife.... HI HONEY....)

"No Mr Roper downstairs though"

You're showing your age there mate.