Woof.

So I bought my wife some flowers, cards, etc., for Valentines day. Of course, I had to try to hide them from her so she wouldn't see them before the day. I couldn't think of anywhere in the house to hide them that my cats wouldn't get to, either.

So I left them (the flowers, not the cats) in the trunk of my car. It was about 25F degrees (-2C or so).

When I took them out of the trunk at 5:00am this morning, I had high hopes - they still looked good, and were nice and rigid.

Put 'em in some water, and marveled at my ingenuity. For about 10 minutes. Until every petal on every flower started dropping off. She is going to see them soon.

So, my question is, what techniques should I use to defend myself, or should I just start running NOW?

Cry. It will immediately disarm her. Nothing a woman likes more than a big hapless doof at her feet with the best of intentions.

Quick Matt, Run out and buy her lots of scratchy uncomfortable underwear. That will make it all better.

That's right...twist my words. Keep it up...and I'll pull a KiDoHae at 2040.

Matt, this is the 'solution':

...the effort will be appreciated.


(but what do I know...I'm divorced. lol)

At least you made a positive attempt to make her happy, but I'm on harlans side.

Run Matty! Run!

http://www.cyberageous.com/Flyers/CyberageousFlyers/media/CrazyLady.jpg

I say fight fire with fire.

Read her a poem about the ephemeral nature of beauty.

Maybe Joel can suggest a good Haiku.

If she's not happy, call her "heartless" and "superficial". Then bring up every single thing she has done that annoyed you in the past year.

You win again.

Let me guess...you are single...or about to become that way.