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#230829 - 02/14/06 09:39 AM Valentine's day massacre (sorta)
MattJ Offline
Free Rhinoplasty!
Prolific

Registered: 11/25/04
Posts: 15634
Loc: York PA. USA
Woof.

So I bought my wife some flowers, cards, etc., for Valentines day. Of course, I had to try to hide them from her so she wouldn't see them before the day. I couldn't think of anywhere in the house to hide them that my cats wouldn't get to, either.

So I left them (the flowers, not the cats) in the trunk of my car. It was about 25F degrees (-2C or so).

When I took them out of the trunk at 5:00am this morning, I had high hopes - they still looked good, and were nice and rigid.

Put 'em in some water, and marveled at my ingenuity. For about 10 minutes. Until every petal on every flower started dropping off. She is going to see them soon.

So, my question is, what techniques should I use to defend myself, or should I just start running NOW?
_________________________
"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

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#230830 - 02/14/06 09:41 AM Re: Valentine's day massacre (sorta) [Re: MattJ]
harlan Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 07/31/04
Posts: 6664
Loc: Amherst, MA
Cry. It will immediately disarm her. Nothing a woman likes more than a big hapless doof at her feet with the best of intentions.

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#230831 - 02/14/06 09:50 AM Re: Valentine's day massacre (sorta) [Re: harlan]
oldman Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 5884
Quick Matt, Run out and buy her lots of scratchy uncomfortable underwear. That will make it all better.

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#230832 - 02/14/06 09:56 AM Re: Valentine's day massacre (sorta) [Re: oldman]
harlan Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 07/31/04
Posts: 6664
Loc: Amherst, MA
That's right...twist my words. Keep it up...and I'll pull a KiDoHae at 2040.

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#230833 - 02/14/06 10:03 AM Re: Valentine's day massacre (sorta) [Re: MattJ]
Ed_Morris Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 6772
Matt, this is the 'solution':

...the effort will be appreciated.


(but what do I know...I'm divorced. lol)

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#230834 - 02/14/06 10:07 AM Re: Valentine's day massacre (sorta) [Re: oldman]
MattJ Offline
Free Rhinoplasty!
Prolific

Registered: 11/25/04
Posts: 15634
Loc: York PA. USA
Quote:

Quick Matt, Run out and buy her lots of scratchy uncomfortable underwear. That will make it all better.




LOL!

ME - "Hey Hon! I got you a new Atama BJJ gi for Valentines! What, you say you don't do BJJ? Luckily, it fits me perfectly!"

HER - *sound of divorce papers*
_________________________
"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

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#230835 - 02/14/06 11:15 AM Re: Valentine's day massacre (sorta) [Re: harlan]
schanne Offline
breaks things

Registered: 02/18/04
Posts: 4370
Loc: Woodbury NJ
At least you made a positive attempt to make her happy, but I'm on harlans side.
_________________________
The way of the warrior does not include other ways... Miyamoto Musashi Schanne

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#230836 - 02/14/06 12:32 PM Re: Valentine's day massacre (sorta) [Re: schanne]
Dauragon c mikado Offline


Registered: 12/09/04
Posts: 1246
Loc: Oxford, England
_________________________
The way of the warrior is a resolute acceptance of death. -Musashi

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#230837 - 02/14/06 02:28 PM Re: Valentine's day massacre (sorta) [Re: Dauragon c mikado]
rideonlythelabel Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1242
Loc: st-hubert quebec canada
I say fight fire with fire.

Read her a poem about the ephemeral nature of beauty.

Maybe Joel can suggest a good Haiku.

If she's not happy, call her "heartless" and "superficial". Then bring up every single thing she has done that annoyed you in the past year.

You win again.
_________________________
patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.

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#230838 - 02/14/06 02:30 PM Re: Valentine's day massacre (sorta) [Re: rideonlythelabel]
harlan Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 07/31/04
Posts: 6664
Loc: Amherst, MA
Let me guess...you are single...or about to become that way.

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