one good bar trick I learned over the years is the technique of insulting yourself, but the people that know you (and the less dumb in the crowd) understand that the insult is intended for the person spoken to.
dumb guy: "hey you bumped into me you a$$!"
you: "sorry man, I always seem to have a hard time navigating around this huge a$$. {point to your own butt}"
dumb guy: {shakes his head and writes you off as a whackjob}
meanwhile your friends are cracking up. 1 face saved. 1 a$$ saved.
