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#218516 - 12/30/05 08:29 AM first fight (got messed up)...advice?
VinnieM Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 11
Loc: manchester, uk
Last Tuesday I was in a bar and a lad thought I was staring at him, through most of night he kept approaching me asking me to come outside. In the end I did and got into a fight.
He pushed me so I pushed him back (big mistake your guard is down your in range and your weight is moving toward him). He punched me and knocked me out, then he carried on, I ended up pretty bad, 6 stitches for lip lacerations to face bruising to eyes, face and head. I didnít press charges. This was my first Ďfightí I could have avoided it had I thought about what I was getting myself into.

If you can, AVOID FIGHTING ALLTOGETHER.
The CID officers suggested if it happens again tell a bouncer that some one wants to fight with you, theyíll throw them out- problem sorted.

Alcohol is bad: youíre more likely to lose reason and get into a fight, and when you do your intoxicated mind is more likely to lose you the fight.

Be aggressive straight away; if itís too late to turn away-you need to win: make sure you do.

Know what youíre getting into. No oneís going to tell you when to start, the fight starts when the first punch is thrown: make sure its you. The one to land the first decent technique has the clear advantage.


FIGHT FAIR, when your opponent goes down, leave them be. Donít carry on kicking them when here down. Watch out, some people do.

If they have been unfair then do press charges, no-one deserves to injure you like that. I didnít and now its too late to change my mind. Now I feel angry because he gets away with it, although give it a week or two Iíll be (almost) back to normal, Iíll just let it go.



Iíve thought about that night a lot and these are things I think would have helped me had I thought about them properly and remembered them. I feel better having written this so others can read and maybe avoid this situation.
Please leave your views on the advice I have suggested, maybe anyone else who has been in a similar situation could give their experience.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY

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#218517 - 12/30/05 09:45 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Prizewriter Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 2573
Never get into a fight, physical or otherwise.

As you realize now, you got into a fight. It could've been avoided. In my experience almost all fights can be settled/avoided without confrontation.

I know you feel as though he has gotten away with it, and he has. But he had gotten away with it the minute you stepped outside with him.

What happens if you had won? What if he pressed charges against you? I am somewhat familiar with UK law, and he could've done this if you had beaten him.

The only good thing about all of this is that you seemed to realize the futility of fighting.

You will heal in time mate. I hope you never get into a fight again. REMEMBER: Both legally and morally, you have the right to defend yourself or someone else if they are in danger. You risk wavering the aforementioned if you get into a fight.

Happy and a peaceful New Year to you.

P.S. No lesser a mortal than Leo turned me on to this great website. I agree with most of the stuff on here. Check the whole site out, but start here: http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/streetfighting.html
_________________________
"Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food" Hippocrates.

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#218518 - 12/30/05 09:49 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Zombie Zero Offline
Compliance & Liability
Veteran

Registered: 06/17/05
Posts: 1993
Loc: Lorton, VA
Quote:

Last Tuesday I was in a bar and a lad thought I was staring at him, through most of night he kept approaching me asking me to come outside. In the end I did and got into a fight.





By following him outside, you agreed to a fight. Bad move.

Quote:

If you can, AVOID FIGHTING ALLTOGETHER.




That says it all right there.

Quote:

the fight starts when the first punch is thrown: make sure its you.




Horrible advice.

Quote:

The one to land the first decent technique has the clear advantage.



And will be the one spending the night in prison.

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#218519 - 12/30/05 10:27 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Intrepidinv1 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/20/05
Posts: 308
Loc: NC, USA
Sometimes you can deter aggression when someone is staring at you by a smile and a wave or look away and avoid eye contact, don't play their game. I don't know why this guy would single you out for his aggression unless he was having a bad day and was looking for someone to take it out on. Which would mean that somehow you appeared to be an easy target. I know it can be humbling to lose a fight to this degree, especially if you had a higher opinion of your ability. I would suggest that instead of sulking around use the event as a catalyst to motivate you. Work out, hit the punching bag, etc.
Sometimes, it's going to be hard to avoid a fight with a drunk if they're determined. I have avoided fights like these just be the stance that I took. Another drunk was pushing his finger into my chest and I timed his step and did a foot sweep, he fell. This occured in a military dormitory so I just jumped over him and went into my room and locked the door. Later, we laughed about it (after he sobered up).

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#218520 - 12/30/05 05:11 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
VinnieM Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 11
Loc: manchester, uk
if i see him agian, which is quite possible as i've seen him out before. how should i react assuming he does approach me/we bump into eachother again?

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#218521 - 12/30/05 09:20 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
kusojiji Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 648
Loc: kokokokokoko
Quote:

Last Tuesday I was in a bar and a lad thought I was staring at him, through most of night he kept approaching me asking me to come outside.




"kept approaching"? If someone is willing to go so far as to approach you once, you need to either leave or clear that situation. Ever watch those nature documentaries where the lion seeks out the weak one from the herd?
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#218522 - 12/30/05 09:31 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: Prizewriter]
kusojiji Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 648
Loc: kokokokokoko
Quote:

In my experience almost all fights can be settled/avoided without confrontation.





I must disagree. Some folks, for so many reasons, go out looking for a fight and if you seem like the guy who will put their head through the sidewalk they will turn their attention to the guy who seems like he wants to 'defuse' the situation. I can't tell you how many guys I've seen back-peddling through the bar parking lot taking shot after shot with their hands up more and more desperately and loudly saying "yo man, I don't want no trouble!"

Its great to think and to hope that there are no unreasonable, violent people in the world. Guess what? There are. Guess what? They respond to only one thing. This is not a lovely truth, but it is a truth.

If someone wants to kick the **** out of you, you'd better kick the **** out of him or just go home before you get hurt.
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#218523 - 12/31/05 03:33 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: kusojiji]
ParadoxPlague Offline
Member

Registered: 04/19/05
Posts: 46
Loc: New Durham, NH, usa
I'll have to humbly disagree with the general opinion of this thread. Sometimes a fight cannot be avoided, be it another man's sheer determination to harm you or someone else, or maybe you're both just too dumb to react peacefully. (Albeit this fight was obviously avoidable in that the guy was civil enough to try to take you outside instead of punching you right at the onset) Next time, be more clever, even if your stronger and faster than you're enemy, you never really know if it's a stranger. So assume he's a 'beatyu up do' master and simply outwit him. It's widely known that shoving someone is a lame attack, so be decisive and do something when he tries it. Intimidate him, whatever it takes to get home in one piece. You know?
_________________________
Peace can be tangible

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#218524 - 12/31/05 07:58 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: kusojiji]
Prizewriter Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 2573
Quote:

Quote:


...or just go home before you get hurt.




Exactly!
_________________________
"Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food" Hippocrates.

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#218525 - 12/31/05 08:03 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: ParadoxPlague]
VinnieM Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 11
Loc: manchester, uk
Everybody, I did try to stress this was my first such confrontation. Thatís the main reason why things turned out how they did. I will act differently if this happens again.

Iíve had a look at the site you suggested Prizewriter, it has some detail about personal space, he came right uptown my face to intimidate me (in the bar); it didn't intimidate me, I confidently told him that I wasn't staring at him; but I guess I should have reacted more assertively and kept him out of my 'personal space'. He looked pretty determined the whole night after this, next time I will be more aggressive and confident.
How do you physically keep someone out of your personal space?

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#218526 - 12/31/05 08:54 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Prizewriter Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 2573
That depends on the situation. The police officer gave you a great piece of advice for the scenario you found yourself in. Contact the bouncer, or even ask a member of the bar staff to contact the bouncer on your behalf, stating that your attacker was threatening you. Let a professional remove him for you.

As indicated on the website and my own limited study of criminology, there are certain behaviours that can put you at risk of being targeted. Think about it. He had a whole bar full of people. Why pick you? This is a rhetorical question; you have to answer that for yourself. You need to make sure you aren't doing anything that puts you at risk. Be aware of yourself at all times.

As stated, it depends on the situation as to how to secure you personal space. If in an open space, you can keep your personal space free by moving to keep the distance between you and your attacker. In a bar, this becomes trickier. You can get someone to leave your personal space by your response.

I know there is a lot of info on the website, but check this part out (if you haven't already), with special reference to the "Interview" stage. http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/five_stages.html#crime_interview

On a final note, it is important to realize that people here aren't having a go at you mate! We have all made mistakes in our lives. The reason some of us may sound a little harsh is because we don't want you ending up in a bad way again. You were man enough to realize the error of your ways; and if your behaviour in the incident cannot be commended, at least that can.
_________________________
"Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food" Hippocrates.

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#218527 - 12/31/05 04:24 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
BigRod Offline
Does it all

Registered: 02/10/05
Posts: 736
Loc: Atlanta, GA
Vinnie,

First of all, thanks for sharing your experience with us. I bet there are many here who would not admit to getting KO'd by an "untrained" adversary.

Second, you point out several things that so many MAs don't think about in a confrontation. Fighting in a dojo is sooo different from fighting in the street. To some extent MAs, myself included, get a sense of false confidence because we do so well in class, and we "know" we can take out an untrained opponent.

I hope others use this post to think about their training, to realize that altercations are not fair, and that your opponent, trained or not, is dangerous. MA's are not invincible.

Now, if you see this guy again, don't fight unless you have too. But if you do end up in a fight, take him out!

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#218528 - 01/02/06 02:53 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Intrepidinv1 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/20/05
Posts: 308
Loc: NC, USA
First, if you encounter this guy again. Let him bring the problem to you, try to avoid it, you might even speak to him friendly. However, if he starts a confrontation with you again I would open up with both barrels and try to finish him before he can even catch his breath. You may want to train for this. I've seen in some self defense books a technique that is attributed to the SAS. It's consist of about 5 real aggressive and potent techniques done in a rapid sucession to finish an attacker quick. You may want to work on that.

Also, one techniqe I came up with to ensure that I didn't escalate an altercation but was able to protect my "personal space" is this: When someone is invading your personal space and being verbally hostile but not to the point of an overt attack put your hand and arm up and step back w/o touching them. If they then push your arm, shove you, etc. then open up on them. You have taken a step back and put up your barrier they then chose to assault you. With your situation you better be ready to spank this guy if he gets into your personal space again. You're going to have to shut him down if he wants you to be his punching bag. Even if he beats you again, if you make him pay dearly for it then he will not want to fight you again. MAKE HIM PAY!, if he tries it again.

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#218529 - 01/03/06 12:15 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Galen Offline
Member

Registered: 11/07/04
Posts: 381
Quote:

FIGHT FAIR, when your opponent goes down, leave them be. Donít carry on kicking them when here down. Watch out, some people do.




You're kidding, right???

Fight fair???? Please...if you are dumb enough to get into a fight in the first place, you best understand that the LAST thing your opponent is thinking about is fighitng fair.

As far as I am concerned, if I get into a fight all bets are off. My opponent goes down, I am going to make damned sure he doesnt get back up.

Now understand, I am the least agressive person I know. I hate confrontations, I hate fighitng. I honestly think that it is one of the lowest forms of human behavior around. Two morons start throwing hands over what?? Ego? You looked at my girl friend? I had a few beers and am feeling tough??

The only way I will fight is if I am pushed to it without any other option for settling whatever the dispute may be. Therefore, I feel no guilt or anguish over dropping the guy I am fighting and leaving him for dead.

I know I know. Bad advice; legal ramifications blah blah blah. All I know is that is I am pushed to the point where I am going to fight (and remember my stance on fighting in the first place- you have to push damned hard to get me to throw hands) then I am going to fight. He goes down, I make sure he stays down.

And just for the record, fair fighting is not on my list of things to do. The last thing I hit him with are my hands and feet. Chair. Brick. Garbage can. Whatever.

You want fair, go play a sport. You want to mix it up on the street, you get what you deserve.

G


Edited by Galen (01/03/06 12:17 PM)
_________________________
Nothing imperfect is the measure of anything!

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#218530 - 01/04/06 06:22 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: Zombie Zero]
shihan_chris Offline
Member

Registered: 07/31/05
Posts: 64


Quote:


the fight starts when the first punch is thrown: make sure its you.




Horrible advice.

Quote:

The one to land the first decent technique has the clear advantage.



And will be the one spending the night in prison.




Actually, its good advice to be the one to throw the first punch. If somebody has the intention of hitting you, then it make sense to hit that person first if you can't get away from the situation.






And will be the one spending the night in prison.




If you ask me, this is horrible advice. In most cases, the guy won't even no who you are, let alone be able to prove that you hit him. I got in several brawls in my younger days, but the police never got involved, because I had enough sense to LEAVE!!!!!!!! I wasn't the one that started it, but I knew that the police likely wouldn't see it that way.

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#218531 - 01/04/06 03:14 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: shihan_chris]
Prizewriter Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 2573


If you ask me, this is horrible advice. In most cases, the guy won't even no who you are, let alone be able to prove that you hit him. I got in several brawls in my younger days, but the police never got involved, because I had enough sense to LEAVE!!!!!!!! I wasn't the one that started it, but I knew that the police likely wouldn't see it that way.





This can vary from country to country, and indeed, state to state, but in most places if you get involved in a fight, the law sees you as behaving in an antisocial way and can hold you responsible. This is regardless of who started it.
_________________________
"Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food" Hippocrates.

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#218532 - 01/07/06 04:13 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Shaolinboy Offline
Member

Registered: 01/19/04
Posts: 256
Loc: England
Well I think it is always good to avoid conflict if you can but if you have no option then use your training the best you can to defeat your opponent and try to escape unharmed if possible. Of course you may not always have the luxury of using a third party to intervene.

I remember this encounter i had in a club and i was just standing by this table minding my own business while my friends were doing their own thing. Suddenly this guy gestured with his head for me to move ( i assumed he had been sitting at the table and i was in the way) but i really felt like a wimp for not standing up to him but then again that may have led to a fight which would have been pointless for such a minor reason.

I like to think that if my life did depend on it I could defend myself adequately with my 7 years of training but I am not a very assertive person and let people walk all over me including a so called friend of mine who i am afraid of because he is very aggressive and i try to avoid arguing with him because i don't want to get into a fight with him. But I know that when i spar i get very competitive and I don't get as scared but thats a lot different from fighting someoen who is angry at you.

Forgive my ramblings!

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#218533 - 01/13/06 10:49 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: Galen]
VinnieM Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 11
Loc: manchester, uk
Galen, I agree with what you said in one sense; that fighting is one of the lowest forms of human behaviour. But isnít it even lower to fight with no ethics what so ever, to carry on striking your 'opponent' with weapons & feet when theyíre down with no way of defending themselves?

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#218534 - 01/13/06 01:07 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Neko456 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 01/18/05
Posts: 3260
Loc: Midwest City, Ok, USA
In the scenario you mentioned you had every oppurtunity to avoid this conflict, he approached you twice saying you were looking at him (stupid I know but thats how it is at bars). Why not move to another part of the club/bar? Near the bouncers or management, usually near the door. No one likes to be pushed around but if the alternative is fighting (especially if you don't know how), I'd move.

As for stepping outside to fight someone, bad, bad (as now know) decision. You let him decided how, when and where, sounds almost like a trap. Never step outside unless you got a plan, always make sure he in front of you!!! If you let him decided where. You decided when, he pushed you, you deck him. Like Galen mentioned ain't nothing fair about street fighting.

But If you stomp someone after a KO U risk going to jail, thats aggravated assault with the attempt to committ maim if they survive and manslaughter if they die. You became a victim bc U let him direct your action and U were completely defenseless laying there Ko'd. Consequence you might need to consider the next time you Think about stepping outside.

I know some people if you lead outside you never get to turn around, you are left laying there in their urine and they are back laughing and drinking at the bar. Don't let them lead.

I'd never stomp anyone unless they kept getting up and I fear the results changing or theres more then 1 attacker. I'm trying to stablize the situation its not really to inflict more pain on a helpless, it stop me from being the helpless.

If you don't know how to skydive why jump out of the plane just because someone ask you to. The same with streetfighting learniing and the experince ain't free, it costs you.

Lesson learned.


Edited by Neko456 (01/13/06 01:17 PM)
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#218535 - 01/24/06 06:03 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Eveal Offline
the freshmaker

Registered: 10/15/04
Posts: 303
All fights are good experiences as long as you can walk from it. It seemed you got your tail handed to you but now you seem smarter about the next one that will happen. If you never break that fear and get into a real fight, you will never know how to react to it because they all happen in different ways...uncontrolled. Controlled fighting, sparring is a good help for learning explosiveness and technique but they are controlled and you miss the surprise elements of "WTF do I do now" lol! I am sorry you got hurt so bad but I bet his hand is hurting and swollen pretty badly too because of wrong technique it might even be broken. So he is clearly not a winner just didn't get hurt as bad. Also, he was probably scared for his life because he kepted pounding you after the KO lol. At least your not dead !
_________________________
Be "Water" my friend!

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#218536 - 01/29/06 08:28 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
jamesd Offline
Member

Registered: 07/06/05
Posts: 145
Loc: Essex,England
Hi Vinnie,

I'm sorry to hear about your recent trouble and i'm glad you're ok, it's always easy to look back in hindsight and say to yourself i should've done this or that but during the heat of the moment it never works out that way, just make sure you learn from your mistakes and don't get caught out again, take care mate!

James.
_________________________
www.hardfasthandway.com

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#218537 - 02/13/06 11:50 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: jamesd]
komainu Offline
Stranger

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 4
Heh
I can't even count the number of tiimes i've avoided fights during the past 2 years even.
This distinct one i can remember though.
I was at a trainstation waiting for a friend to come. So anyway i see this extremely pretty girl walking by, and i couldn't help myself but stare at her, infact, i didn't even notice myself staring at her she was just too gorgeous to look away from. So then after she comes closer by it turned out her boyfriend and his friend were behind her. He had a [censored] for me looking at her so he was looking at me, i took a glimpse at him then looked away, to which he intentionally walked towards my way, he shoulder barged me and expected me to retaliate though i didn't, and he walked off.
I was still imaginging myself holding the girls hand :P (she would be better off with me than a hardass like himself sigh...)

she was pretty.. very pretty..

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#218538 - 02/13/06 12:07 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: komainu]
Dauragon c mikado Offline


Registered: 12/09/04
Posts: 1246
Loc: Oxford, England
Attend a few reality seminars, good ones, not fake money makers.

Or just dont get into conflicts, but really conflict is unavoidable cause theres always someone who wont leave off.

God luck

dcm
_________________________
The way of the warrior is a resolute acceptance of death. -Musashi

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#218539 - 02/14/06 09:15 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: Dauragon c mikado]
MikoReklaw Offline
Member

Registered: 12/24/05
Posts: 145
Loc: Memphis, TN USA
You already know what you did wrong. Just be sure to listen to your logic rather than your ego when/if you get into that situation again.
_________________________
Solve et Coagula ~ The Alchemical Process RIP Vangelus

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#218540 - 02/15/06 12:12 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: MikoReklaw]
Dauragon c mikado Offline


Registered: 12/09/04
Posts: 1246
Loc: Oxford, England
Or that <directed at self
_________________________
The way of the warrior is a resolute acceptance of death. -Musashi

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#218541 - 03/17/06 12:56 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: Dauragon c mikado]
littlemikey26 Offline
Newbie

Registered: 03/16/06
Posts: 11
Loc: michigan
i have been a bouncer for the last 4 yrs in a pretty rough club, and i generally was able to talk most people down,it's really hard to explain unless you have alot of experience reading people, but theres a way to talk to them, kind of like your not really agreeing or disagreeing, you avoid being cofrontational while at the same time letting them know your not scared of them but hav no problem with them unless they force me to have a problem, also being a bouncer isnt so much about kicking butt, it's about being able to keep people safe and the establishment from being sued (another reason we were required to learn cpr) it's all about being able to negotiate, i would say about 80 or 90 percent of the time a situation can be defused, but there are just some (stupid ) people that want to fight regardless, and so you will always have to be a little paranoid and assume any individual is dangerous until proven otherwise, the best defense is to simply be elsewhere, also it is a good idea to tell the bouncers they will usually take care of the situation, they can even walk you to your car if need be. Theres no reason to get into a fight unless you Have to!

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#218542 - 04/09/06 06:19 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: shihan_chris]
JDG Offline
Stranger

Registered: 04/07/06
Posts: 2
Loc: Maryland
I agree with galen totaly if u make the decision to fight on the streets, be prepared to show the devoid of human desincy...i personnaly would break the opponents arms simply so as i walked away, he would be able to shoot me in the back.

hard truth, but survival of the fittest.


Edited by JDG (04/09/06 06:20 PM)

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#218543 - 04/09/06 09:20 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: JDG]
BrianS Offline
Higher rank than you
Professional Poster

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 5959
Loc: Northwest Arkansas
Quote:

I agree with galen totaly if u make the decision to fight on the streets, be prepared to show the devoid of human desincy...i personnaly would break the opponents arms simply so as i walked away, he would be able to shoot me in the back.

hard truth, but survival of the fittest.




Instead of 'breaking his arms' toughguy,why don't you just take the gun? lol sheesh.
_________________________
The2nd ammendment, it makes all the others possible. <///<




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#218544 - 04/09/06 10:51 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Ukraine Offline
Member

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 46
Loc: Ontario, Canada
I guess you learned your lesson huh?

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#218545 - 04/29/06 04:47 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
VinnieM Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 11
Loc: manchester, uk
Thanks everyone for your advice and suggestions, Iíll take 'em on board and I agree with (most of) the views posted. Iím surprised at the number of responses (and viewings)

Iíve healed, only a small scar one my lip and only a couple of photos to remember my face by; although I donít like to see them because they make me angry; so I donít.
Iíve not seen him again, but when I go home (in the vacations from uni) Iím constantly checking everyoneís face just incase I recognize him, not even sure If I could as I was pretty drunk when the Ďincidentí happened.
At first I thought about what Iíd do if I saw him again-kick the s**t out of him, then as time passsed I started to think more rationally. If I try to get him back, and I do, it might turn into a never ending vendetta or he could press charges or I could lose and then itís back to square one. So I guess Iíll have to forgive him, learn from my mistakes and that way I can forget about it. Although donít think Iíll be able to be civil towards him if I ever meet him again.

I now know what to expect if I do get into a fight and lose, so thatís a big factor in making me, in the future, avoid fighting situations wherever possible. That said if I do, and my opponent has obviously had enough, Iím not going to kick the [censored] out of him just because thatís whatís done on the Ďstreetí.

I still stand by the things I said in my first post. And yes Iíve most certainly learned something from it, so I guess the whole thing wasnít all badÖ.

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#218546 - 05/01/06 04:24 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Prizewriter Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 2573
Well, at the end of the day, you were able to walk away from it with no lasting physical damage. And you have learned some good lessons from it. You turned a negative into a positive .

Two final bits of advice if I may: In life, there will be people who you don't like/can't get on with. It's a given. You have two basic choices: figure out if its worth making right, and do everything you can to make it happen, or let it go. Forget about them. Release. The person who attacked you will only ever exist in one place: your mind. You have control over this. Let him influnece you no more. Forget him. The past is not real, the future is not real. All that is real is here and now. Do not worry about a ghost in your head. Think only of the now.

As to my second piece of advice. I clicked on your profile, noticed you did some TKD, which is cool. It can be a useful art in self defense. But would encourage you to look at adding a little bit extra to your training if you want to learn some more self-defence skills. Things like grappling, ground work (they are NOT the same thing) pressure point stuff, joint manipulation etc... keep an open mind, and if nothing else, stick with your current training.

Good luck and peace.
_________________________
"Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food" Hippocrates.

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#218547 - 05/15/06 10:09 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: Prizewriter]
rafikEz Offline
Newbie

Registered: 05/07/06
Posts: 19
Loc: Melbourne, VIC, Australia
yeah, i had a similar experience around about a year ago...i found myself in a fight with a persona lot bigger then me that i couldnt really walk away from. i was very drunk and also on ecstasy (i used to regretably do some stupid [censored]). as i said, he was a good deal lager then me, and although i held my own for a bit, the truth was neither of us were espiecally good fighters, and after a bit i tripped up (it was on grass) and a got a boot to the head. i coped a concussion a nose snapped clean across my face.

i made a lot of mistakes that night....and the one thing it taught me is that i never want to find myself in a fight ever...but at the same time, if i ever found myself in that REALLY regretable situation, i would respond with as much force as i possibly could as quickly as i possibly could and would then run as fast as i could. i train a lot in krav maga nowadays, and i go to the gym, and im a lot healthier, fitter and stronger then i was back then...but the fact remains that i would still NEVER want to put myself in a situation where i had to fight. i suppose im just not an aggressive person?

ow well....from one person who got his arse kicked to another.....it sucks. I think im still struggling with it mentally, the whole pride complex....but yeah. it sucks.

ciao

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#218548 - 05/26/06 11:04 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Steel91 Offline
Member

Registered: 05/25/06
Posts: 451
Loc: Alabama
I think you should have just hit him when he pushed you instead of pushing back, when he pushed you, that was the start of the fight, just my two cents so you don't end up, you know or being no offense I just like these smiles a lot.
_________________________
The more you sweat in training, the less you bleed in battle.

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#218549 - 06/27/06 12:48 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
webby Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/05
Posts: 147
Loc: newton abbot devon
I train in shotokan karate and have been in the last 8 years, and shotokans main moto is never attack first.... you dont need to punch kick or anything to win a fight, for starters if you didnt walk out side, there wouldnt be a fight to lost......but at the end of the day you had to leave at one point....why did you push back?? pushing does nothing but leave you open....if you addopted a side on stance(like must arts teach) you will be strong, and he wont be able to push you.... and use your blocks to stop being hurt....hell get frustrated tht his attacks aint workin nd will leave looking stupid...think before you act...

tight belts

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#218550 - 06/28/06 07:41 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Kikojen Offline
Newbie

Registered: 06/28/06
Posts: 8
Every situation is different, that's why what if's really bother me. Since this is a real instance that I have been in quite a few times before, I'll tell you want I usually do. I just got out of the Marines and have alot of friends in the city police dept. If I'm having problems with some guy at a bar with my wife or alone. Pick up the phone call a buddy or 2 or 3. Don't mention anything about the guy, just ask them to come have a drink or snack with you. 9/10 you can get SOMEONE to come. Usually once two or three people show up that guy will stop bothering you. Just make sure not to get cocky and start starting at him. Just go about your bussiness and have fun with your boys. because...

1. Drinking alone is no fun.
2. Even a drunk will think twice about picking a fight with 4 guys. Especially if one or two is a cop in uniform.
3. People like to feel wanted so your friends will feel good even if they can't come, that you invited them.
_________________________
The only true test of courage is the last one.

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#218551 - 07/14/06 11:54 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
fileboy2002 Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 11/13/05
Posts: 999
Loc: Chicago, IL
Interesting story. I think you learned the two most important lessons: 1) avoid fighting if you can, and 2) hit first if you can't. The second rule may cause you some legal problems, it is better to be sued than killed.

I am not sure I agree with your advice to "fight fair." The only time you want to break off an attack is when your opponent is UNABLE to hurt you, not when you judge him or her to be UNWILLING to do so.

One last thing: in places like bars, the chances are good the guy who wants fight you has friends. Work extra hard to avoid fights with anyone who has backup.

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