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#218516 - 12/30/05 08:29 AM first fight (got messed up)...advice?
VinnieM Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 11
Loc: manchester, uk
Last Tuesday I was in a bar and a lad thought I was staring at him, through most of night he kept approaching me asking me to come outside. In the end I did and got into a fight.
He pushed me so I pushed him back (big mistake your guard is down your in range and your weight is moving toward him). He punched me and knocked me out, then he carried on, I ended up pretty bad, 6 stitches for lip lacerations to face bruising to eyes, face and head. I didnít press charges. This was my first Ďfightí I could have avoided it had I thought about what I was getting myself into.

If you can, AVOID FIGHTING ALLTOGETHER.
The CID officers suggested if it happens again tell a bouncer that some one wants to fight with you, theyíll throw them out- problem sorted.

Alcohol is bad: youíre more likely to lose reason and get into a fight, and when you do your intoxicated mind is more likely to lose you the fight.

Be aggressive straight away; if itís too late to turn away-you need to win: make sure you do.

Know what youíre getting into. No oneís going to tell you when to start, the fight starts when the first punch is thrown: make sure its you. The one to land the first decent technique has the clear advantage.


FIGHT FAIR, when your opponent goes down, leave them be. Donít carry on kicking them when here down. Watch out, some people do.

If they have been unfair then do press charges, no-one deserves to injure you like that. I didnít and now its too late to change my mind. Now I feel angry because he gets away with it, although give it a week or two Iíll be (almost) back to normal, Iíll just let it go.



Iíve thought about that night a lot and these are things I think would have helped me had I thought about them properly and remembered them. I feel better having written this so others can read and maybe avoid this situation.
Please leave your views on the advice I have suggested, maybe anyone else who has been in a similar situation could give their experience.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY

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#218517 - 12/30/05 09:45 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Prizewriter Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 2572
Never get into a fight, physical or otherwise.

As you realize now, you got into a fight. It could've been avoided. In my experience almost all fights can be settled/avoided without confrontation.

I know you feel as though he has gotten away with it, and he has. But he had gotten away with it the minute you stepped outside with him.

What happens if you had won? What if he pressed charges against you? I am somewhat familiar with UK law, and he could've done this if you had beaten him.

The only good thing about all of this is that you seemed to realize the futility of fighting.

You will heal in time mate. I hope you never get into a fight again. REMEMBER: Both legally and morally, you have the right to defend yourself or someone else if they are in danger. You risk wavering the aforementioned if you get into a fight.

Happy and a peaceful New Year to you.

P.S. No lesser a mortal than Leo turned me on to this great website. I agree with most of the stuff on here. Check the whole site out, but start here: http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/streetfighting.html
_________________________
"Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food" Hippocrates.

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#218518 - 12/30/05 09:49 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Zombie Zero Offline
Compliance & Liability
Veteran

Registered: 06/17/05
Posts: 1990
Loc: Lorton, VA
Quote:

Last Tuesday I was in a bar and a lad thought I was staring at him, through most of night he kept approaching me asking me to come outside. In the end I did and got into a fight.





By following him outside, you agreed to a fight. Bad move.

Quote:

If you can, AVOID FIGHTING ALLTOGETHER.




That says it all right there.

Quote:

the fight starts when the first punch is thrown: make sure its you.




Horrible advice.

Quote:

The one to land the first decent technique has the clear advantage.



And will be the one spending the night in prison.

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#218519 - 12/30/05 10:27 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
Intrepidinv1 Offline
Member

Registered: 04/20/05
Posts: 308
Loc: NC, USA
Sometimes you can deter aggression when someone is staring at you by a smile and a wave or look away and avoid eye contact, don't play their game. I don't know why this guy would single you out for his aggression unless he was having a bad day and was looking for someone to take it out on. Which would mean that somehow you appeared to be an easy target. I know it can be humbling to lose a fight to this degree, especially if you had a higher opinion of your ability. I would suggest that instead of sulking around use the event as a catalyst to motivate you. Work out, hit the punching bag, etc.
Sometimes, it's going to be hard to avoid a fight with a drunk if they're determined. I have avoided fights like these just be the stance that I took. Another drunk was pushing his finger into my chest and I timed his step and did a foot sweep, he fell. This occured in a military dormitory so I just jumped over him and went into my room and locked the door. Later, we laughed about it (after he sobered up).

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#218520 - 12/30/05 05:11 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
VinnieM Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 11
Loc: manchester, uk
if i see him agian, which is quite possible as i've seen him out before. how should i react assuming he does approach me/we bump into eachother again?

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#218521 - 12/30/05 09:20 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: VinnieM]
kusojiji Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 648
Loc: kokokokokoko
Quote:

Last Tuesday I was in a bar and a lad thought I was staring at him, through most of night he kept approaching me asking me to come outside.




"kept approaching"? If someone is willing to go so far as to approach you once, you need to either leave or clear that situation. Ever watch those nature documentaries where the lion seeks out the weak one from the herd?
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#218522 - 12/30/05 09:31 PM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: Prizewriter]
kusojiji Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 09/28/03
Posts: 648
Loc: kokokokokoko
Quote:

In my experience almost all fights can be settled/avoided without confrontation.





I must disagree. Some folks, for so many reasons, go out looking for a fight and if you seem like the guy who will put their head through the sidewalk they will turn their attention to the guy who seems like he wants to 'defuse' the situation. I can't tell you how many guys I've seen back-peddling through the bar parking lot taking shot after shot with their hands up more and more desperately and loudly saying "yo man, I don't want no trouble!"

Its great to think and to hope that there are no unreasonable, violent people in the world. Guess what? There are. Guess what? They respond to only one thing. This is not a lovely truth, but it is a truth.

If someone wants to kick the **** out of you, you'd better kick the **** out of him or just go home before you get hurt.
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#218523 - 12/31/05 03:33 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: kusojiji]
ParadoxPlague Offline
Member

Registered: 04/19/05
Posts: 46
Loc: New Durham, NH, usa
I'll have to humbly disagree with the general opinion of this thread. Sometimes a fight cannot be avoided, be it another man's sheer determination to harm you or someone else, or maybe you're both just too dumb to react peacefully. (Albeit this fight was obviously avoidable in that the guy was civil enough to try to take you outside instead of punching you right at the onset) Next time, be more clever, even if your stronger and faster than you're enemy, you never really know if it's a stranger. So assume he's a 'beatyu up do' master and simply outwit him. It's widely known that shoving someone is a lame attack, so be decisive and do something when he tries it. Intimidate him, whatever it takes to get home in one piece. You know?
_________________________
Peace can be tangible

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#218524 - 12/31/05 07:58 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: kusojiji]
Prizewriter Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 2572
Quote:

Quote:


...or just go home before you get hurt.




Exactly!
_________________________
"Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food" Hippocrates.

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#218525 - 12/31/05 08:03 AM Re: first fight (got messed up)...advice? [Re: ParadoxPlague]
VinnieM Offline
Newbie

Registered: 02/06/05
Posts: 11
Loc: manchester, uk
Everybody, I did try to stress this was my first such confrontation. Thatís the main reason why things turned out how they did. I will act differently if this happens again.

Iíve had a look at the site you suggested Prizewriter, it has some detail about personal space, he came right uptown my face to intimidate me (in the bar); it didn't intimidate me, I confidently told him that I wasn't staring at him; but I guess I should have reacted more assertively and kept him out of my 'personal space'. He looked pretty determined the whole night after this, next time I will be more aggressive and confident.
How do you physically keep someone out of your personal space?

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