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#207863 - 11/25/05 02:26 AM Re: Over the top... [Re: BuDoc]
ButterflyPalm Offline
Enigma

Registered: 08/26/04
Posts: 2637
Loc: Malaysia
Quote:

I kicked Oldmans A$$...Twice!!!




That's only because Oldman, being a good christian, turned the other cheek
_________________________
I'll rather be happy than right, anytime.

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#207864 - 11/25/05 08:18 AM Re: Over the top... [Re: ButterflyPalm]
Ed_Morris Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 6772
knock it off.

back on topic: give us your true, but too good to be not false tale.

Top
#207865 - 11/25/05 11:45 AM Re: Over the top... [Re: Ed_Morris]
Christie Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 07/12/05
Posts: 872
Loc: Waterloo, ON
I am the epitome of perfect.

Top
#207866 - 11/25/05 12:27 PM Re: Over the top... [Re: Christie]
Ives Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 04/25/05
Posts: 691
Loc: the Netherlands
My armpits sweat during training.

Top
#207867 - 11/25/05 01:07 PM Re: Over the top... [Re: Ives]
PierrePressure Offline
Member

Registered: 07/02/05
Posts: 173
I am what my village calls, The Chosen Child of Light. I was never really "born," but I simply came down one night from the sky, and landed gracefully and all prophetic-like with a shuriken in one hand and a ninja sword in another, and promptly began to practice the "Ultra Secret Super Ancient Big Time Stuff" kata, while the stars aligned above me to form a picture of Bruce Lee. I am divine.

I was promptly taken to a nearby Shaolin Temple to be taught by a man named Shin (may he live forever!). Super Amazing Eternal Grand Master Poobah Shin (may he live forever!) soon taught me all the great secrets of martial arts, and I quickly began to develop my flying and chi-ball forming abilities, and I also learned and mastered a new way to defeat my enemies: Flex-Fu. I simply flex, and they go flying! Super Amazing Eternal Grandmaster Poobah Shin (may he live forever!) declared me a master, and I was sent off to find the Sacred Scroll of Something Important, which was hidden deep in the mountains of someplace so secret and dangerous, I cannot tell you, because what if you, who are not a Child of Light, try to go there? No. I refrain. Only I who am Chosen could have gone, and I needed to go to save my village from the looming Darkness that was coming to destroy my village.

Needless to say, I found the Scared Scroll of Something Important, and saved the village. Shortly thereafter I moved to America. I opened up "Kim Kwon's Sacred Fists!" (my school) in a nearby strip center, and I am proud to say that the vast majority of my students are black belts after training for just 3 weeks! (I suppose it's all due to my Scared Teaching). YOU can join too, if you sign this 30-year contract and pay an up-front fee of $50,000! To be taught by a master with a background like mine, this is a bargain!

I guess some of you could try to top that, but since no one else is is probably divine like me, I think it'll be difficult. Good luck, mortals.
_________________________
"If life gives you lemons, you blow those lemons to bits with your laser cannon!" - Brak

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#207868 - 11/25/05 02:06 PM Re: Over the top... [Re: PierrePressure]
MattJ Offline
Free Rhinoplasty!
Prolific

Registered: 11/25/04
Posts: 15634
Loc: York PA. USA
I'm getting the impression that some of you are exagerating a bit here. Remember, there can only be one.

And that's me.
_________________________
"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

Top
#207869 - 11/25/05 02:16 PM Re: Over the top... [Re: MattJ]
Christie Offline
Enthusiast

Registered: 07/12/05
Posts: 872
Loc: Waterloo, ON
Quote:

I'm getting the impression that some of you are exagerating a bit here. Remember, there can only be one.

And that's me.




Vous Ítes confondus mon ami, parce que JE suis LE seul un!

Top
#207870 - 11/25/05 02:16 PM Re: Over the top... [Re: MattJ]
rideonlythelabel Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1242
Loc: st-hubert quebec canada
Did I mention that I am not subject to the laws of physics?
_________________________
patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.

Top
#207871 - 11/25/05 02:59 PM Re: Over the top... [Re: ButterflyPalm]
Prizewriter Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 10/23/05
Posts: 2573
Well you guys, like this one time, this dude in the office was walking round with a pen in his pocket, and it like, didnít have a lid on it (seriously).

And I was like, well, you should put a lid on it. And he said I should put a lid on it. So I went to stationary and got the guy a lid for his pen.

He said that like, that wasn't what he meant, he meant I should just shut up.

Basically this is a martial arts story because like, I went to this seminar at a weekend, and the guy who ran it like, use to be in the army (Salvation, I think he said) and he said he had developed, like this ultimate combat system.

So like although I only have had, like, a weekend of training (well, it was really a day, cause the instructor guy caught a mild cold and couldn't teach the second day) I consider myself, like, a martial artist.

My martial arts training stopped the insult the guy in the office threw at me penetrating my mind. It was definitely my MA training... it's not that I am like, slow...
_________________________
"Let your food be your medicine, and your medicine be your food" Hippocrates.

Top
#207872 - 11/25/05 05:13 PM Re: Over the top... [Re: Christie]
rideonlythelabel Offline
Veteran

Registered: 09/22/04
Posts: 1242
Loc: st-hubert quebec canada
Quote:

Quote:

I'm getting the impression that some of you are exagerating a bit here. Remember, there can only be one.

And that's me.






Vous Ítes confondus mon ami, parce que JE suis LE seul un!




* restrains urge to correct Christie's french *
_________________________
patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.

Top
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