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#206691 - 11/22/05 10:10 PM Re: Female instructors and respect [Re: PierrePressure]
tkdkid5282 Offline

Registered: 09/26/05
Posts: 167
Loc: Georgia
i am 16 and i am an instrustor...first you have to scare them so they fear and respect you then you become theit friend so they want to listen to what you have to say...combination of both works
There is enough for everyones need, but not enough for everyones greed. -Ghandi

#206692 - 11/23/05 04:07 AM Re: Female instructors and respect [Re: tkdkid5282]
horizon Offline

Registered: 07/24/05
Posts: 143
Loc: London
IMHO scaring them doesn't make them respect you, just fearing you.
In our dojo we have an excellent female instructor, who is taking the kid's class once a week. She doesn't take cr*p from them, not listening is a warning, again is sitting besides the class for a while, continously interrupting isn't allowed and will lead to not taking part in the class at all. However, all kids love her. She is strict, but also sees that they are children, with lots of energy, and that they are there to enjoy class. So she make the class very enjoyable, balancing the karate-aspect, learing basic techniques etc with physical activities.
Te kids respect her and every time they see her before class they greet her with great enthusiasm.
Ichi Nichi Issho - one day, one lifetime

#206693 - 11/23/05 08:27 AM Re: Female instructors and respect [Re: tkdkid5282]
JohnL Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 03/24/03
Posts: 4309
Loc: NY, NY, USA

i am 16 and i am an instrustor...first you have to scare them so they fear and respect you then you become theit friend so they want to listen to what you have to say...combination of both works

You're clearly not ready to teach children yet, are you.
John L

#206694 - 11/23/05 10:59 AM Re: Female instructors and respect [Re: tkdkid5282]
MattJ Offline
Free Rhinoplasty!

Registered: 11/25/04
Posts: 15634
Loc: York PA. USA

first you have to scare them so they fear and respect you

Yikes! While I taught mostly adults, I did work with young kids occasionally. I never had to scare them, nor do I think that is necessary. You just have to keep them busy - on their level.
"In case you ever wondered what it's like to be knocked out, it's like waking up from a nightmare only to discover it wasn't a dream." -Forrest Griffin

#206695 - 11/23/05 11:05 AM Re: Female instructors and respect [Re: tkdkid5282]
ShikataGaNai Offline

Registered: 08/27/05
Posts: 1163
Loc: Bellingham, WA

i am 16 and i am an instrustor...first you have to scare them so they fear and respect you then you become theit friend so they want to listen to what you have to say...combination of both works

Spoken like a true 16 year old instructor. Sheesh.

#206696 - 11/23/05 12:18 PM Re: Female instructors and respect [Re: tkdkid5282]
dmsdc Offline

Registered: 07/27/05
Posts: 37
Good teachers do what good parents do.

They are warm and friendly, fair and firm, and respect the autonomy of adults, the need to foster autonomy in adolescents, and the need for structure with children.

I am a woman who regularly teaches adults and children. I do not question myself while I am teaching as to if I should or should not be up in front of the folks I am teaching - no matter what their size or age. I certainly sometimes have these insecurities when I'm on my own - but they do nobody any good during a training session.

The most important thing is to respect each and every person who comes to train. This includes respecting visitors who come to watch your training to decide if they'd like to join. Model how you want to be treated by treating others the same way.

As a teacher you teach explicitly and implicitly. Explicitly you teach forms, training drills, techniques, fighting, etc. Implicitly you teach respect, how to treat others, how to work as a partner, how to be focused, centered, and thoughtful.

A good teacher pays attention to how they're teaching both. Gender doesn't matter.

Why worry if you think someone doesn't respect you? You can't know their thoughts - you're not psychic. You can only find out by watching their actions or asking them what they think. So try not to project any insecurities you may have onto your students.

As my teacher often told me "You're perfect for today and will be better tomorrow if you keep training - that's all that matters."
happy training, Dana

#206697 - 11/24/05 03:10 AM Re: Female instructors and respect [Re: tkdkid5282]
trevek Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 05/15/05
Posts: 3337
Loc: Poland
Scare them and they don't always come back.

There is a difference between being strict and being frightening.

Edited by trevek (11/24/05 03:12 AM)
See how well I block your punches with my jaw!!

Supporting everyone saying "nuts to cancer"

#206698 - 11/25/05 07:26 PM Female instructors and respect [Re: PierrePressure]
Ronin1966 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 04/26/02
Posts: 3119
Loc: East Coast, United States

Gender is irrelevent. Age may play a factor. Are the older children in this school having the same problems?

Younger instructors or new teachers will get eaten alive by young kids, and older children to some extent determined by group size. Experience and the type of support you have backing you up will determine how things go. Even the experienced folks run into a rogue class from time to time.

If you wish to teach, start as a volunteer, and work VERY hard with the beginners. Stay there for a long, long time. If you like it... you will have some experience at least and not have ~romantic ideas~ anymore. Once you've run your own classes for a long time SOLO or supported to some extent... you are a teacher.

It is not an easy task ever! School, dojo, daycare, much the same. Hard, hard work. There is a reason many of us are grey But gender is not a factor with a larger group. They are like baby ~pirrannah~ <sp.?> if you permit them even a taste. Time, experience is required to control a classroom.


#206699 - 12/08/05 11:21 AM Re: Female instructors and respect [Re: Ronin1966]
still wadowoman Offline
Improved beefier techno-prat

Registered: 04/10/04
Posts: 3420
Loc: Residence:UK- Heart:Md, USA
I agree with Ronin - gender is irrelevent.

I am sure everyone here know men and women they respect as well as men and women they don't. Why should martial arts instructors be any different?
Anyone mind if I sit down?

#206700 - 12/20/05 05:07 PM Re: Female instructors and respect [Re: still wadowoman]
tkd_high_green Offline

Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 1031
Loc: Vermont
A good instructor is a good instructor, and students recognize that. If you go into a class confidant, and with enthusiasm, the students recognize it and respect you for it. I am fortunate in that I have a slight advantage now that I earned my red belt, in that I am a professional teacher (not in the martial arts), which has given me the ability and experience to feel comfortable with public speaking.

One of the requirements for being able to get your black belt at my school is that you clock at least 10 hours assisting and or teaching a class. Once you reach red belt it is expected that you may be told to "start class" at any time, especially if you're an adult. This primarily consists of running through the standard set of warmups and stretches, but for many students this is the hardest part of being a red belt. Not only do you have to think about what you are doing, but you have to demonstrate it, and explain it to the other students. Its a great eye opener, and a great learning experience. Many students are terrified the first time they have to "start class"

That aside, the only gender differences I have observed is that many of the female students tend to be more timid the first few times they teach, and because of a larger number of male instructors at our school, the kids are more prone to answer "Yes Sir" to a command or question, regardless of gender, and while I find it amusing to be called "Sir" rather than "Ma'am", its still a "drop for pushups" offense.


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