Ive had little white belt kiddies actually take a crap in class
My sensei had to take a day off so he asked me to take the class since I was the most comfortable with all the students and the little kids' parents. I had a senior brown belt there to help me aswell and I was about to start class, I noticed a few chunks of brown material on the floor. I ignored it for a while and during a break I went to the changeroom to grab myself some water.
When I came back I noticed the brown belt lookign inquisitively at the floor. I questioned him and he was like "sensei... there is a trail of brown material going from one side of the class to wehre the white belts stand."
I noticed that the once "Chunk" i had seen at the start of class was now a smear on the mats. And there were more smears aswell as half stepped on chunks leading to where the white belts stand. I called everyone back up and made it a point to tell them to stand exactly where they had stood at the start of class. Upon this, I told them to stay there and went to investigate the washroom.
Upon my entry i was met with a horrid stench that would have made tarzan's underarms jealous. I quickly ran for the lysol bottle and sprayed probably half the bottle in there.
Upon dumbing down the stench a fair amount i proceeded to caustiosly travel further into the washroom towards the toilet. Upon lookign in, i was met with a horrid mix of what seemed to be groundbeef mixed with some still whole (no joke here) peas.
I immediately ran back into the class, making it a point to take the long way to let the odour out of my gi a little bit and proceded to follow the trail of browness to the whitebelts.
Upon doing so, I ordered them all into kipodachi (sp?) or horse stance i guess it can be called. Upon further investigation of the students' gi's, (a very unpleasent and ackward experiance mind you) I was shocked to find absolutely not one student with a brown stain on their rear areas or down their legs.
So how does one take a crap in their pants, walk aroudn with it enough to let the chunks fall otu of their pants, and end up 1) not smelling, 2) without a trace of gump on their gi's?
needless to say the dojo was shut down for one day while we fully cleaned up and sanitized the place...
two weeks later, this happened again, and once again we were unable to find the culprit. However this time my sensei was also presetn to witness the miracle since he was having a hard tiem believeing me (and trying to speak without laughing too much).
We are yet to find the person who committed these crimes but it has been two months and no similar event has occured...