Shark,
I met one of my best buddies at a seminar where we were banging on each other's arms doing drills. I told him it was good to find somebody that wasn't afraid to hit somebody during training. Mutual bruises can make good friends.

I guess enough time has passed, to mention about this guy who was at a family dojo I was a student at briefly. Before his first class, he comes out and the first thing he does is go to the middle of the dojo floor and does a full split. lol o...k. impressive. what was funny is two of the wise-ass brown belts who have a great sense of humor, acted like they were clapping applause.
later, I talked with him and turns out he took a japanese style of competition karate...a derrivitive of shotokan. he made it a point to bad-mouth okinawan styles of karate as non-effective for defense, kicks too low, damaging training methods, dumb looking kata, no power etc. I let him ramble on until he asked if I did any styles previous to 'this place'. I said yes, Goju Ryu. he never heard of it. I asked him if he ever heard of Matsubayashi Ryu, he said yes, he tried it before but didn't like it. I let him in on the fact Goju and Matsubayashi are 2 fairly popular, if not main styles on Okinawa since they originated there. {blank stare}. I also pointed out the kanji on the wall in the dojo, and the kamiza that had a picture of Nagamine...asked him if that struck any bells with him...nope. I had to break it to him, that he was once again a member of a Matsubayashi dojo. lol
during class, he had the most rediculous kiai that sounded like a high pitched cry for a trophy, I swear I saw some chips of paint fall after his shreiks. he went to a few classes and then disappeared...echos of his kiai could still be heard when you pressed your ear to the kamiza wall.

lol...clueless.

*We have this older woman who is always chewing on garlic during classes and using it like chewing tobbaco... Her techniques have no power, she doesn't know how to put her feet in which direction, and she has trained for almost two years! One time I sparred with her, and when she attacked and let out a kiai, I almost fainted because of the strong garlic odor! That was creepy...

*We had this fat 14 year old kid who came to classes for three months. While always telling me he had done this and that sport for so and so long, it didn't look like he even had taken the effort to even THINK about doing sports. Apparently, he had done icehockey, swimming, soccer, mountainclimbing and running. He always wanted to learn how to do a flying kick, while he didn't even know how to punch. One day he asked the sensei how he could beat up someone at his school, and sensei replied: "we don't beat up people, be learn to avoid getting beaten up ourselves". Never saw the kid again...

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*We have this older woman who is always chewing on garlic during classes and using it like chewing tobbaco... Her techniques have no power, she doesn't know how to put her feet in which direction, and she has trained for almost two years! One time I sparred with her, and when she attacked and let out a kiai, I almost fainted because of the strong garlic odor! That was creepy...

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Great, you are supposed to keep the secret of the no touch KO's secret, now everyone here will be using it.

I'm not the instructor but am the highest ranking student in the class and there was this other kid in there who was a year older than me and wastaking the class with his dad, he was there for almost as long as I had been up until he quit, but he never tried anything to his full potential, and was sloppy, and when he would get something wrong, which he did a lot he would laugh about it and go on, I think his dad made him stay in too long, his dad was pretty good and was a black belt, however, during my brown belt test, (and the other kid's) he used the wrong technique to get out of a bearhug and supposedly broke his ankle so he quit and I haven't heard anything from his dad either.

There was a young kid (probably 9 or 10) at my dojo who just wouldn't shut up. My instructor kept threatening to sticky tape his mouth shut...so after a couple of weeks of threats he actually did it. Went into his office during the middle of class, got a big roll of duct tape and taped the kid all the way around his mouth and head.

We have an elderly lady in our class who is very nice, but she can't remember left and right, and while she's doing techniques gets confused about what to do. When you add "omote and ura" to it, she starts talking her way through the techniques, getting hung up on details and missing the entire purpose of what she's trying to accomplish.

She's a horrible student, but a great person, and has stayed with her study for over 6 years without much advancement. I don't think she'll ever get any better, but she shows up and trains with the best of them.