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#195494 - 10/20/05 07:14 PM "The She Hulk"
goju_girl Offline
Member

Registered: 10/19/05
Posts: 101
Loc: Canada eh!
Hi there, well I'm new here and I dunno I guess I just feel I should post something about myself to get started in the forum, and let you guys know I'm here. So here's a little story about me:

In grade seven I was always considered "the weird kid". While no one said it to my face I could tell by the way the talked... AT me. Not to say I had no friends, I had and still have great friends, but I'm talking about the school wide majority. Well one day someone gets the bright idea to let me know what was on his small mind.

It was right after a math test (my worst subject) he started poking fun at me. Calling me ugly, fat, loner, druggy, basically any mean/derrogatory name he could possibly think of. well by the time lunch rolled around he had run out of names and just started to say my name very fast while poking me with a ruler.

I don't know exactly what made me snap, but something in my mind (I think my common sense) flipped off. The next thing I knew I had backed him into the wall grabbed the neck of his shirt and was winding my arm for a punch to the nose. But then I heard a faint *riiip* sound, it was the seam of his shirt, and I came back to reality, I put my arm down, and just said "BACK OFF" and went to the washroom to wipe away the tears, I always get mad at myself for doing stupid things and usually end up crying, but not quite as much as of last year (grade eight). So yes, from then on for the rest of the seventh grade I was regarded as "the she hulk", "The shirt ripper", and some genious even called me a rapist (but one not so nice glare shut him up).

I guess this one thought has always bugged me...
why did I snap? Was I in the right? Any insights? My friends are too biased for me to ask.

-Nikita
_________________________
New hieghts are achieved once you have the courage to leave the ground

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#195495 - 10/20/05 08:49 PM Re: "The She Hulk" [Re: goju_girl]
Leo_E_49 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 02/24/05
Posts: 4117
Loc: California
Ahh middle school, good and bad memories in that mix. Thank you for sharing your story, it must have taken quite a bit of courage to tell, I think.

I usually ignore people who bug me, I'm to lazy to lay the smackdown on them.

I wouldn't worry too much about what you did, but remember that two wrongs don't make a right. Don't hold grudges, it could be that much of what you think is happening actually isn't. You'll probably find out later that what happens in school is rather silly and juvenile but that will come with time.

EVERYONE has doubts and insecurities. You are not alone. Those people who make fun of you probably do it because they are either insecure themselves or afraid of you (in a good way).

Also you needn't be uncomfortable about who you are. You should be proud of your achievements and always remember your better points. (Bear in mind and try to improve your worse points too). Also, I know it's hard, but don't pay too much attention to what other people say about you. Other people don't really know you and they usually don't have a clue who you really are. If they do say something you think might be true, well do your best to make it better.

If you are overweight might I suggest two things. Firstly, a well balanced food intake, refer to the food pyramid for this:

http://www.nutritionaustralia.org/Food_Facts/Fact_Sheets/about%20_the_healthy_eating_pyramid.asp
http://www.nutritionaustralia.org/News_in_Nutrition/Media_Releases/New_healthy_eating_pyramid.asp
http://www.nutritionaustralia.org/Nutrition_for_all_ages/Teens/teens_index.asp
http://www.nutritionaustralia.org/Nutrition_for_all_ages/Children/dietary_guidelines.asp

Secondly, regular cardiovascular/aerobic exercise. This means jogging, running, swimming, cycling and other sports which raise your heart rate (not necessarily MA). This should be done for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, 3 days weekly. Vary your routine so you don't get bored with it. Consult your doctor before embarking on an exercise routine to lose weight.

Also a hint from someone who's been there: keep a diary. Write down everything you eat every day. Read it at the end of the day every day. Also write down exercises you do and your weight and measurements (particularly waist). For some reason, reading just how much you eat is a very good incentive to eat less.

Find out what your healthy body mass index(BMI) is from your doctor. When you reach a healthy BMI do not try to lose any more weight this is very unhealthy. Keep exercising regularly and eating healthily but not quite as rigerously as previously.

DO NOT DIET, exercise and healthy eating is the way to go, those diets are really just marketing ploys to make money from people's gullability. If you want to lose weight, there's no shortcuts, it takes hard work.

As to your looks, well being male I don't know too much about it but I'll tell you one thing. A frown can ruin a beautiful face and a smile can make one.

When you are happy with who you are and comfortable with yourself, people will naturally come to like you. It worked for me, I went from being a nobody who everybody didn't want to know to being the most talked about and well known person in my school. All because I stopped caring what other people thought about me and started caring about who I really wanted to be.

Edit: I realise on a second reading of your post that you've probably already moved past these issues, but many people don't know much about them. Particularly the importance of healthy eating and exercise. You'd be surprised at the number of people who can't even tell you the healthy eating pyramid off the top of their head or what aerobic exercise is and how it differs from anaerobic exercise. I'm no expert but I know about it and it's helped me lose and keep off my weight.


Edited by Leo_E_49 (10/20/05 09:04 PM)
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#195496 - 10/20/05 09:55 PM Re: "The She Hulk" [Re: Leo_E_49]
SANCHIN31 Offline
Former Moderator

Registered: 12/26/04
Posts: 3783
Loc: Arkansas, U.S.
Good job Leo!!

goju girl,
I don't think there's anything wrong with what you did. He wanted a rise out of you and he got it.On the other hand learn from what you did and think of a different approach next time so you'll be prepared.
_________________________
Skinny,Bald,and Handsome! Fightingarts Warrior of the year

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#195497 - 10/21/05 11:20 PM Re: "The She Hulk" [Re: Leo_E_49]
goju_girl Offline
Member

Registered: 10/19/05
Posts: 101
Loc: Canada eh!
Hey! Thanks for your posts, both were really nice. But a special thanks to Leo, that post must have taken a while to write! Thanks, both of you for taking the time to answer my post it means alot. Well anyways I'm tired... thanks and ttyl
-Nikita

P.S. Just to clarify... I'm not exactly overwieght (and as cheesy/fake as this may sound) I'm just big boned... but it's true! I'll stop there however, although I'm still adjusting to a vegetarian diet so my wieght has been doing a flip flop (nothing really drastic I went up 5 lbs, and then lost them, so I don't know how this'll turn out )Anyways, thanks for the sites and advice Leo (can never be too healthy or happy)


Edited by goju_girl (10/21/05 11:29 PM)
_________________________
New hieghts are achieved once you have the courage to leave the ground

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#195498 - 10/22/05 09:44 AM Re: "The She Hulk" [Re: goju_girl]
Leo_E_49 Offline
Professional Poster

Registered: 02/24/05
Posts: 4117
Loc: California
Make sure you eat lentils to keep your protein levels regular if you're a vegetarian (unless you eat fish or eggs that is).
_________________________
Self Defense
(Website by Marc MacYoung, not me)

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#195499 - 10/22/05 10:25 AM Re: "The She Hulk" [Re: Leo_E_49]
goju_girl Offline
Member

Registered: 10/19/05
Posts: 101
Loc: Canada eh!
Thank you, you're too kind... remind me to come to you whenever I need dietary advice! ok well thanks again for everything.
ttyl
-Nikita
_________________________
New hieghts are achieved once you have the courage to leave the ground

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#195500 - 10/23/05 12:18 AM Re: "The She Hulk" [Re: goju_girl]
h2whoa Offline
Member

Registered: 10/16/05
Posts: 427
Loc: Fiji
You must learn to be bigger than the enemy!! In this case you were wrong, untill attacked (I doubt a ruler to the side would cause grevious bodily harm), never respond. You are only feeding the monster. What if his friends/girlfriend hit you from the back or stabbed you with a cafeteria utensil!! Think carefully before acting!! Sanchin, you should know better than to encourage violence!


Edited by h2whoa (10/23/05 12:23 AM)
_________________________
No matter how fashionable it is on Krypton, I will not wear my underwear on the outside of my Gi!!

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#195501 - 10/23/05 08:15 AM Re: "The She Hulk" [Re: h2whoa]
SANCHIN31 Offline
Former Moderator

Registered: 12/26/04
Posts: 3783
Loc: Arkansas, U.S.
Quote:

You must learn to be bigger than the enemy!! In this case you were wrong, untill attacked (I doubt a ruler to the side would cause grevious bodily harm), never respond. You are only feeding the monster. What if his friends/girlfriend hit you from the back or stabbed you with a cafeteria utensil!! Think carefully before acting!! Sanchin, you should know better than to encourage violence!




Do you have some kind of superiority complex or something?
What if? What if? What if the principle would have thrown her our the third floor window? I think she did just fine. If you sit around and take it,it will get worse. Noone was hurt by her action except the bully's pride.
Yes goju girl,next time do nothing,just let the hyena's eat you.

h2whoa,
Get off your high horse,it's making me ill. I don't promote violence,but when someone acts on you,you don't just sit there and take it.
"Here comes the tyrant to raid the village!!!" "It's ok Martha, we're die hard pacifist til' the end. What if his buddies get us from behind when we fight back?"

*gags internally*
_________________________
Skinny,Bald,and Handsome! Fightingarts Warrior of the year

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#195502 - 10/23/05 09:26 AM Re: "The She Hulk" [Re: h2whoa]
RangerG Offline
Former Moderator

Registered: 04/18/05
Posts: 1026
Loc: Chester County, Pennsylvania
There is a time to ignore the bully, a time to resist the bully and a time to put the bully on the floor. The wisdom of age and experience teach you when a particular response is appropriate.

Attack with a ruler is a time for moderate resistance. The ruler is a weapon, albet a minor one depending on the area struck or jabbed.

Attack with a fork or knife is time for violent response, regardless of the school policy.

The school is responsible for providing a safe environment for education. When the school fails to provide safety, a persons rights, even a minors, to protect themselves from harm comes into play.

Words, minor shoves or hostile looks are not appropriate for a violent response. They are a time to pity the bully for the unhappy life he/she must live that make him/her so.
_________________________
"If you're gonna be stupid, you better be tough."

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#195503 - 10/23/05 09:39 AM Re: "The She Hulk" [Re: RangerG]
SANCHIN31 Offline
Former Moderator

Registered: 12/26/04
Posts: 3783
Loc: Arkansas, U.S.
Quote:

Words, minor shoves or hostile looks are not appropriate for a violent response. They are a time to pity the bully for the unhappy life he/she must live that make him/her so.




I disagree, this only escalates the problem. Namecalling turns into poking , poking turns into shoving , shoving turns into etc. etc.etc... Cut the problem off before more happens.

When I was in 8th grade a bully sat behind me at a pep rally. He started calling me names, then pushing my head from behind. As we left the pep rally he followed me up the stairs tripping me the whole way. When I got to my locker he stood behind me antagonizing me,then wham,he shoved my head into my locker. I turned around and let him have it good until a teacher pulled me off of him. After that he wanted to be friends,so we did.
At what point should I have reacted? When it started or when I got a bruise from my locker? What if one of his friends stabbed me in the neck with a fork?
Maybe I should have said "Thankyou, may I have another."
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Skinny,Bald,and Handsome! Fightingarts Warrior of the year

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