You and I are walking down that same path of trying to filter info from tone. It is not always easy when confronted by opinions that are contrary or personalities that clash.
I have also had something of a sea-change in my opinion on ban-able offenses. The forum rules are pretty clear on what are offending traits in posts. Pointlessly inflammatory, political, religious or personal attacks are verboten.
The gray areas are the informational posts that walk the line of the other clear offenses. I am more inclined to allow those (edited as neccessary), to keep the debate honest for everyone. Contrary opinions should not be deleted, as long as they are not to the level of trolling (ie; hammering MMA opinions in a kata forum).
Banning people is a last "nuclear" option, IMHO, left for the habitual violators, who disregard warnings.
But then again, ask me when I have a headache.