i have a concern, wheneveri spar witha friend of mine, he always seems to get me on the defensive, and get really really close, he fears NOTHING., i always wonder how he manages to be like this in a fight. does anyone know how he keeps his cool in a match? i cant seem to stop being paranoid when in a match, which is a huge problem if i ever needed to fight someone.

one of the most basic human charectoristics is the avoidance of pain. it is natural to flinch or throw your hands up to block when something is coming at you. I can take a few good licks but i still always finding myself jumping back from an attacker. we train in "closing the gap" moving in close to your opponentto take away leverage and put you in close to work the counter. It's really hard but you almost have to reprogram your brain. How? I don't really know...we do a lot of hard body training and that tends to help in conditioning to take the hits, build up the chin. but yeah! if anyone else has some suggestions i would love to hear them aswell.

something my brother does when i spar with him, i think the reason is that he knows that he is well protected and has the skills to defend himself if you attack.

that's true confedince

yeah, i think my self esteem plays a role in this..., believe your weak and powerless and you will be..., but whats weird is how i can feel this way when im like 250 pounds...i really shouldnt be afraid of a guy half my size (though extremely fast and strong). id love to know how to build my confidence some more (though im not sure if this is the best board for this topic, i believe it may help everyone here in some way)

this is a good article for you to read re:fear
http://www.bisons.net/fear.htm