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#230107 - 02/12/06 02:05 AM Someone hitting on your girlfriend
kil2a Offline

Registered: 02/12/06
Posts: 1
I'm a new member to this forum as I just stumbled upon it tonight reading all the useful articlse. I had a question(s) of my own regarding self defense and de-escelation.

I have a very attractive girlfriend who get's a lot of stares from guys quite regularly, whether i'm with her or not. There have been occasions when guys by themselves and guys in groups have hit on her while I'm there.

My question is, what stance do I take on this? Do I politely as them to stop, firmly tell them to stop, or immediately begin defending my over-sized ego? I never look for fights and i'm generally a pretty easy going person, but as it begin's happening more, I feel that it's time to fully defend myself when this happens as to not give my girlfriend the impression that I'm simply scared.

Also, if the situation calls for self-defense, is the best tactic the quickest tactic (ie: strike hard while they don't think your going to)
thank you!!!
P.S. guys in groups generally don't threaten me as much as single guys. group guys tend to only do it because they KNOW they outnumber me and I get the impression that they would never attempt it if by themselves---nonetheless, i'd appreciate any input on this subject.

#230108 - 02/12/06 05:32 AM Re: Someone hitting on your girlfriend [Re: kil2a]
Cord Offline

Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 11399
Loc: Cambridge UK.
Well, firstly if a guy is clearly hitting on your girlfriend, and the first words out of her mouth arent 'sorry I am spoken for' or to that effect, then the person you need to talk to regarding conduct is her, not the guy who takes an interest. You were that guy once, remember? Pretty girls attract guys. You have to deal with your insecurities, and establish trust in your girlfriends fondness for you, not learn how to hit some poor guy in the nose just cause he thinks a girl is pretty.

Its your girlfriend who must deal with advances made toward her-does she encourage the interest of men? Many pretty girls do, they enjoy the attention in harmless flirtation. Again that is an issue between you and her.

It has nothing to do with you, unless she becomes in real physical danger or is molested in which case you may see fit to intervene. Most guys would, but that doesnt make it a smart or right move, its merely succumbing to human nature.

Edited by Cord (02/12/06 05:39 AM)
Don't let the door hit ya' where the good lord split ya'

#230109 - 02/12/06 06:00 AM Re: Someone hitting on your girlfriend [Re: kil2a]
fightthem Offline

Registered: 02/12/06
Posts: 6
Loc: australia
Cord's hit the nail on the head. In the first instance it is your girlfriend who should put these would be Casanovas off.
As for your girlfriend's impression of you, well if you're with an attractive girl then you must be doing something right.It is probably less about you and more about how attractive she is. Talk to her about it and come up with some plan to deal with these jokers.
If the situation calls for self defence then you're always up against it. By all means defend yourself but if there are multiple attackers then you also have to look out for your girlfriend. If she's in outing clothes (heels etc) then she can't run. If it's a single guy and you knock him flat then you're in trouble with the doormen/security etc. Worse still your girlfriend might think you a bully(jealous, violent, etc).
Better to think ahead, avoid pick-up joints. Go somewhere where couples go, you know somewhere nice. Better still take her to your place, cook her dinner etc.
This should definitely be one of those love and not war scenarios.Lots of love I say!

#230110 - 02/12/06 08:18 AM Re: Someone hitting on your girlfriend [Re: kil2a]
funstick5000 Offline

Registered: 07/16/05
Posts: 759
Loc: West Yorkshire, England
you need to ask your girlfriend all those questions and explain your feelings.
Go seek the advise of a qualified instructor.

#230111 - 02/12/06 10:20 PM Re: Someone hitting on your girlfriend [Re: kil2a]
BrianS Offline
Higher rank than you
Professional Poster

Registered: 11/04/05
Posts: 5959
Loc: Northwest Arkansas
These are just my opinions based on my experiences:


I have a very attractive girlfriend who get's a lot of stares from guys quite regularly, whether i'm with her or not. There have been occasions when guys by themselves and guys in groups have hit on her while I'm there.

My question is, what stance do I take on this?

Your girlfriend should take the stance,not you. Do you want to take beatings because of her? Do you want to beat everyone up that looks at her? People can be very disrespectful of others relationships,but don't let it come between you two.

Your best defense is to ignore them,don't start mouthing and start unnecessary trouble,it's just not worth it.

Tell your girlfriend to always wear baggy sweats and no make-up,lol. I'd probably still hit on her though.
The2nd ammendment, it makes all the others possible. <///<

#230112 - 02/14/06 10:48 AM Re: Someone hitting on your girlfriend [Re: kil2a]
phxjudoboxer Offline

Registered: 02/14/06
Posts: 1
You need to grow up and quit being insecure. If she doesn't handle it then your prob is with your gf not the guys

#230113 - 02/14/06 11:22 AM Re: Someone hitting on your girlfriend [Re: phxjudoboxer]
Zombie Zero Offline
Compliance & Liability

Registered: 06/17/05
Posts: 1993
Loc: Lorton, VA
Wait and see who she goes home with. If it's you, there's no problem.

#230114 - 02/14/06 11:33 AM Re: Someone hitting on your girlfriend [Re: kil2a]
schanne Offline
breaks things

Registered: 02/18/04
Posts: 4370
Loc: Woodbury NJ
Get use to it or get an ugly girlfriend!

Hey did you give her the test yet? If she reaches across the seat to open your car door for you she's a keeper otherwise dump her even if she is hot. (What movie was that from )?????
The way of the warrior does not include other ways... Miyamoto Musashi Schanne

#230115 - 02/14/06 01:33 PM Re: Someone hitting on your girlfriend [Re: schanne]
Dauragon c mikado Offline

Registered: 12/09/04
Posts: 1246
Loc: Oxford, England
I think you should loosen up a bit, if she truly likes you then you got nothing to worry about, try not to restrict her otherwise she will go looking elsewhere.
The way of the warrior is a resolute acceptance of death. -Musashi

#230116 - 02/14/06 04:38 PM Re: Someone hitting on your girlfriend [Re: Dauragon c mikado]
HellHoundClan Offline

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 8
I say it is also your responsiblity to tell them. Basically whoever gets it out of their mouth first. If she says it first you should back what she says up or vice-versa.

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