Here's a little story about a recent ER patient.

I walk into the ER the other night and my first patient has a nice head and face laceration. The nurse has the history, I'm ready to suture.

Me: So what happened Mr X?
X: Doc, we was sitting out on the porch ya know smokin and drinkin. My boy starts saying some $h!t to this cat that rolls up on bike. One thing leads to another and this cat jumps off the bike like Jet Li and Kung Fu'd my a$$.

Me: Kung Fu'd your a$$ ?(trying not to laugh)
X: yeah Kung Fu'd my a$$ and I ain't even said nothing to him. I'm gonna smoke that MF'r!!

Me: How about you learn some Kung Fu and Kung Fu his a$$?
X: Where I'm gonna learn that?

I proceded to write him a prescription and put the Green Dragon society website on it

All night long we were walking around trying to make MA's into verbs. Some worked better than others.

I karate'd his a$$
I Muy Thaid his a$$(one of my favorites)
I jiu-jitsu'd his a$$
I capoeira'd his a$$ (doesn't really work)

Feel free to add your own.

Or Ignore this thread completely. I was overtired then and thought it was funny. I'm overtired now telling you about it.

I will probably read this tomorrow and realize that I have lost IQ points, and have actually made you dumber for bearing with me

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Hmmmm.... his *a$$* got Kung Fu'd and sustained a nice *head and face* laceration? Hmmmm.... ROTFLMOL!

I got all American and Kenpoed your a$$, as well as karated it.

Yes Joel, I think the implication is that he is a butthead.

huhuhuh, you said butt...

Muy Thaid....hmm?! I have had a bender or two in my youth that suggested too much consumption of alcohol may indeed deliver said effect without the need for an attacker.

-B

Me: Uh, yeah, Officer Joel, we was sitting out on the porch ya know, smokin ($h!t) and drinkin. My boy starts saying some $h!t to this cat that rolls up on a bike. One thing leads to another and this cat jumps off the bike like Jet Li and attempted to Kung Fu my a$$.

JoelM: So what did you do?

Me: So I ah-key-doh'd his a$$.

JoelM: You "aikido'd" his a$$???? (Trying hard not to laugh)

Me: Uh yeah...

JoelM: So how come he's sustained a head and face laceration?

Me: Likes ah sez, I aikido'd his a$$ and BADABINGBADABOOM, he ends up on his a$$ all over the pavement....

He "Billy Jacked my a$$" = hapkido

(I'm dating myself of course.)

Billy who? I've dated myself before...lonely times. But those are stories for another forum.

I like this one:I just escrima'd his a$$!!

LOL! In some backwater locales, I think it would be ice-creama'd his a$$!

"Hey there, Bobby. Whacha doin'?"

"Practicin this here martial art, Charlie."

"Oh yeah, what's it called?"

"Ice-screama cookie-do"

"Wow, that there's a fancy name!"

"I know, I learned directly from the Grandmasters, Guro Ben and Guro Jerry."

Eyrie,

That's some scary terminology and would only work, pardon the non-PC allusion, if only one of these guys was a Ned Beatty look alike.

"Squeal like a pig." Just horrible connotations....Horrible....

-B

Holy crap! Oops..... sorry...completely innocent and unintentional....honest... I swear...

I'm afraid you are dating yourself...

*right folks, move along, it's not a pretty sight...move along*

I´d Kali´d (Called) his a$$ (Kali=Escrima)...
I´d Tai Chi Chuaned his A$$ ??
I´d Samboed his a$$
I´d Krav Magaed (or Kapap Lotared) his a$$ ?
I Kendoed his A$$..
I´d Pencak Silated his a$$ ???

This doesn't work as a joke for me 'cause what I do is a verb.

Eyrie,

I suppose I am dating myself...but didn't have the heart to put a smilely face at the end of my statement. Didn't know how it would be taken, but was meant in good humor.

I am now going to drink a beer and stay away from any backwoods banjo players.

-B

A bit cold for a beer this time of the year down here, my friend...

Likewise, likewise, but with a scotch instead....

Eyrie,

Ok...for your benefit, I do have a nice bottle of Macallan at home. I will, just for you, have a small glass tonight, even though it may be winter down under and is nice and warm here.

To your health, sir!

-B

Joel, You don't know who Billy Jack is?


Goju-ed!!

"Back-the-F-off, before I get feudal on yo a$$."

"This cat rolled up and Seisan'd my a$$, so I low-down and throw some Naihanchi his way...catch 'DAT M.F.!"

"Dat cat was going all Bushido up on m' a$$ n-sheet."

"Served him his a$$ with supersized McDojo !"

I don't know... is it just me or does "Taekwondo'ed his a$$" sound a little ponderous to you?

Taekwondo'd his a$$ ... I like it Leo.

Speaking of ER ... when younger (20's) and after a fight where I had to get stitches over my eye (yes I was stupid), an unconscious man was brought in on a stretcher and his face was mush. It seems as he was coming through a window the older lady hit him in the face with a frying pan. The cops and I laughed our heads off when he finally awoke and was screaming like a little girl. I guess you can say she "frying panned his a$$" ... or should I say "face".

Now I know who the one other person in the world, that saw Ishtar, is!

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Some references are just so satisfyingly obtuse they just beg to be used.

Make it three people who regretted seeing that sad example of a movie!

Bad!!!!!

Less ponderous is "I TKD'd his a$$"
Maybe, "I drunken mastered his a$$"
or, to add a little French to it, "I savated his a$$"

if there was an SAS version of Krav et al then maybe "I SAS'd his a$$"

I believe that an actual member of the SAS would say " I Regimented his a$$"

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Now that I think of it I think I saw Bfly and Oldman in that empty theater when I went and saw Gigli!

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Seen both of these flics. Ishtar (Released 1987) on TV and Gigli (Released 2003) on video. Got through both alive. Will never get this time back. I'd like to Taekwondo their a$$'s.

Ah yes, BUDoc... I stand corrected

My 12 year old son, uses this phrase quite often:

"I'll karate your a$$ so hard that even your head will be feeling it"

Gary.

sounds like a lovely chap.

earlier a someone mentioned escrima sticks lol
that reminds me..."im gonna bo-staff your a$$!" or just... "im gonna staff your a$$". this is great hahaha!

I nunchaku'ed his a$$!
I'm also glad to see a little more Muay Thai on these forums, since I've only seen a few references.

i'm sorry about my last post. it was bad of me to say that about your son. please forgive me.

works with MA'ists aswell
I Jackie Chan'd up the wall
I Bruce lee'd the F@#$ out of that guy

There was once a line in Buffy, like "If you invade her space she gets all Special Forces on you" could similar things be done MA wise?

How about "l33t" verbs in MA?

"pwned" as in "Al Capwned"
"Kin-Fu'ed"

Why is it always one's a$$ which get verbed? Wouldn't some alliteration be nice, like to muay thai your mouth or kendo your crotch?

imma bust sum serius wangh chun on yo wrist, rigth befor i karatesize yo hypocampus!!!

And isshinryu-sticate yo big corpus callosum!!

pwned....

Shorin, Just seen your postscript, of course breakdancing and martial arts have similarities. Breakdancing was hugely influenced by capoerra.

Some styles of capoerra have a lot of ground work. Also, a lot of the early dancers based moves on martial arts. The idea of trying toutdance your opponent face to face without touching him is straight from cap. Interestingly, my tai chi sifu looks like he's poppin' when he does a form.

Again, I agree completely. But, at least in Michigan, I've seen an influx of former gymnasts and capoerra practicioners entering into breakdancing, making a direct connection between the two. It also seems to be the trend in other areas as well, based on numerous videos I've seen.

And the face to face "fighting" is called uprock for us. So to add to the origional point of the thread:

Imma gunna uprock right into yo kness, suckah! Then Ill karatesize you into a million peeces...

But when they 'break' are there pieces of wooden boards everywhere? If you kick someone's knees can you capoerrise the area of yo caps

....you lost me....

1. Who's doing the "breaking"
2. Are we talking about breaking in terms of Martial Artists breakin boards and such, or Capoerra practicioners, or Bboys?
3. I'm assuming the second question was a joke like my karatesize joke, but you can never be too sure. So if you were really asking me a question, can you please rephrase that one for me?

Ah, now there's the question... as BD and MA are so similar, who are the breakers and what are they breaking (a bit zen?).

No, I meant that if martial artists are entering breakdance competitions, how do they 'break' (like boards in a grading)?

2nd Q was a joke, yes.

Would it not be better as.... "I opened a keg of Kung-fu on his b!tch a$$"

i tai kwon do'ed his ass up and down the block lol i know the topic shitfed but i wanted to say that

I whooped his a$$ with my waving pines!!!!

Does beating someone up in the style of an Israeli commando ever satisfy your Kraving?

kendo'd my ass, lol, sounds like ken dod

Not exactly a tickling stick tho !

Thank you, Bushi. I aim to please

My MA is already a verb. Fencing.

But it makes no sense in modern terms "Back off or I'll fence your a$$"

But 'sword' works great. "He was starting some sh1t so he got hisself sworded."

(Where would I be without HomestarRunner, and especially Trogdor?)

Or, of course, 'Bah. Foiled again!'

And you can have all sorts of fun with the b4st4rd sword and the rapier...

Quote:

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"Back off or I'll fence your a$$"

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Quote:

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'Bah. Foiled again!'

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That's a good one!

Oh, what's a verb?

My contribution to this one. . .
"Step aside junior, before I go all Judo on your a$$"
"Dude, Ever been fed Muay Thai cuz of your mouth?"
"What's that on the floor? *Wham* Say hello to Mr. Muay Thai!'
"Bah, Muay Thai'ed again, ouch, my a$$ bleeding"
"Stand down, or be Judofied!" [No! not pedofied]

Can't think of any more, and these ones aren't that good. . . I think I have a weird sense of humour. It happens after a lot of hits to the the head.

-Taison out