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#102549 - 04/08/05 07:32 PM Overcoming fears / gaining confidence and ability

I've got this problem id like a little advice / help with.

A few days ago something happend to me, i was walking down the street with my girlfriend, pretty much across the street from the main traffic and such so its not exactly the place you expect anything to happen.

Anyhow we just came out of an appointment to see about renting a place, so we are standing in the street talking about how we thought it went well and all, just about to turn around and walk back home when two guys behind us call out something like "Oi, you" or something, so i turn around... the guys looking at me walking past and i ask "do i know you", so instantly hes getting in my face shouting out some crap like "you wanna go some?" ect, im still a little confused trying to think if its a joke or something from some old school pal or something, anyways it aint it turns out.

So after this i say "do i know you or something?" again to him, he pushes me and then my girlfriend just stands in the way and tells him to f**k off, he walks off still looking back and im looking at him still with the same dumb confused look on my face with my girlfriend pushing me against a wall.

Anyways nothing really happend here except quite frankly i didnt know how to react, after that i got annoyed at myself for not standing up for myself and my girlfriend, then i got annoyed at her for getting in the way ect, i didnt say anything to her about it really but it just really annoyed the crap out of me that i allowed that to happen.

I gotta admit, i was scared, i dont know why as thinking back he wasnt particuarly threatening, and the other guy with him looked about 10 years old but my body reacted in all the same ways, the standard feel as if you are gonna loose bladder control, confusion and freezing up. As time goes on i know im going to be in this position again and i want to be able to handle it differently.

I live in a rough area as it is, and my girlfriend frankly could kick my ass any day of the week, she holds all this kickboxing trophies from when she was younger, thing is shes thin as hell and she thinks shes invincible, sooner or later the same thing is going to happen again and she is going to get into a fight if a punch gets thrown, i just want to make sure if that does happen i can take care of her and myself a little bit better then last time.

Anyone have any advice for me or just something to reassure me. Im 19, about 5'5 and weigh about 75 kilos (of fat). A long time ago when i was a kid a similar thing happend to me, i was at a bus stop and some gang went past, one of the girls at the bus stop said something my "friends" decided to run while i was still trying to figure out what was going on, and i got the crap beaten out of me by about 4 guys (oddly though there wasnt much pain involved, i think i blacked out after a while). I think thats had an influence on me, if it wasnt for that happening to me i dont think id be in this position.

#102550 - 04/08/05 08:36 PM Re: Overcoming fears / gaining confidence and ability

Don't beat yourself up over it. I'm surprised your girlfriend isn't worried about getting within arms length (striking range) of an aggressor.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Ronkir:
i know im going to be in this position again and i want to be able to handle it differently.[/QUOTE]

The aim shouldn't be improving how you handle it, so much as avoiding the situation entirely. You adopted the WRONG attitude, (assuming it will happen) avoidance should always be a priority.

#102551 - 04/08/05 09:02 PM Re: Overcoming fears / gaining confidence and ability

Some people are just hostile jerkwads! We aren't always prepared for every situation. Nor are we all prominent super tough streetfighters.
Read what Leo gave you, it's the best advice we can give you outside of seek a qualified instructor.

#102552 - 04/08/05 10:19 PM Re: Overcoming fears / gaining confidence and ability

In my experience whenever it comes to that sort of hostility and the standard p***y push as i like to call it, it almost allways ends in trouble.

I've got very little experience in street fighting, so feel free to correct me. But once somone gets in your face and chooses to push you what can you do? Its to provoke you, however if you dont do a damn thing it usually ends in them punching you in the face the next thing anyway, if you turn your head youll get suckerpunched. Best thing to do in that situation to me seems like to act the second it happens and make sure whatever you do is enough to make an impact.

As for my girlfriend, who knows she seems to think that if shes doing the right thing then theres no possible way she could get hurt, that day for example she jumped in between us, what woulda happend if he punched her in the face instead? Ok i admit i wouldnt be suprised if she kicked his ass but the fact of the matter is there was two of them, two of us and we both had a size / weight disadvantage as well as i wasnt mentally prepared.

#102553 - 04/08/05 10:23 PM Re: Overcoming fears / gaining confidence and ability

Don't let anyone enter your personal space in a confrontitional situation,ever! You won't have to worry about being pushed or punched that way.

#102554 - 04/09/05 03:02 AM Re: Overcoming fears / gaining confidence and ability

He came to close.
You should never allow possible agressor to come to your arms lenght of you.
This time it was push, next time it will be stab with a knife.


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