Letting your mental guard down

Well, now that we have some more moderation on the site, I'll be wandering around to more forums than just the general talk.

The other night, 10pm, while locking up the retail store I work at, which I do 5 nights a week, I was walking to the backside parking lot where the employees have to park. I had taken my work shirt off and just had a white sleeveless tshirt on. I noticed a guy walking towards me on the other side of the walkway, about 10 feet wide.

Now I'm normally not suspicious of all people, but he was coming from an almost deserted parking lot, where no stores were open, and he certainly did not work at the 24-hour grocery store next door judging by his clothing. I made sure my hands were free and in front of me, keeping an eye on him.

When we got closer we made eye contact and out of the blue he asked me if I had just gotten fnished working out. I was confused and said no, I was working. He said he thought I was coming from the TKD studio down from my store (just coincidence). We both laughed as I said no, and then we both went on our ways.

Seems like a harmless encounter, but there is one point I didn't mention. When he started talking to me I stopped focusing on him as a possible threat and only focused on his words. I was so pissed at myself.

Not all criminals/muggers are stupid, they will do things to get you to drop your guard physically and mentally to take advantage of you.

Just a little thought, any comments or similar stories?

Joel

I use to be a manager at a video store.
One morning I was leaving with the deposit and happened to see a male "hiding" behind a column-right in the path of where I had to walk. I stopped, then began telling myself I was being overly paranoid, etc.
I turned around, walked back into the store and called security.

You reminded yourself to be prepared and cautious, I tried to talk myself out of it.

Criminals aren't stupid. They want you to be at ease with them so they can get closer."say pal,got a light" often used before a mugging. Good job Joel,maybe next time you'll think different. I assume if he would have approached closer you would have reacted different.

You're probably right about that, Sanchin. We were probably about 5-8 feet away. If he had come closer I like to think I would have reacted, and I'll be sure in the future to not let down mentally.

neko-I'm glad that nothing happened to you. I am satisfied that I was able to take notice and be cautious of him, I guess I just need to work on keeping it up.

Joel

In this kind of situations I always try to keep the distance of at least 2 meters ( I hate when someone uses feet and other measures that i cant understand, than i have to go and search for the converter on the internet, [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif[/IMG] ) between me and the possible attacker.

If it is 2 in the morning, and it is dark and we are alone in the street, there is no reason for him to stand any closer than 2 meters.
If he tries to come closer, move away.
If he is persistent, that is the sign that he has some bad ideas and you should react.

I've been there a few times, but the one thing I find, is that if I think someone might be a threat, I don't tend to relax when someone starts talking to me. The flat out fact is, I don't trust very many people. That's just the difference between us though. I'm ready for a fight that never even begins most of the time.

I am a very careful person. I never walk alone after dark. I always park in a well lit area, have the car keys and my mobile (cell) phone in my hand ready, always check the car is empty before I get in and lock the doors once I am safely inside.

I have good locks on the doors and windows in my house and I have a dog (not particularly vicious, but will bark a warning). I have (legal) weapons hidden in every room in the house.

If I am out without my husband, I always wear trousers and shoes I can run in. I never walk/stand with my hands in my pockets.

As a general rule, I like a lot of personal space and don't let others invade it.

Terrrible world we live in when so many precautions are necessary.
Sharon

[This message has been edited by still wadowoman (edited 04-08-2005).]

Joel, I find that striking up conversation first can help throw off their focus the same way that yours was cut off. Ask them a random off-the-wall question like the one that stumped you. This makes their mind wonder (You may remember some examples from class before that I use). Also, don't stop and talk, continue walking like you have somewhere to be and are late. Sometimes if you are uncomfortable, role-playing can help as well. Act like someone just called you on your cellphone or something like that which would supposedly get someone else involved, thus decreasing the likelihood of attack. I have been known to act like I'v gotta pee really bad or if someone is about to ask me for money, I ask them for it first. I know, I'm a big jerk but most people already know that.

*sneaks up on the forum, taps it on the shoulder, and disappears before anyone knows what happened*

DEAL WITH THAT, KROTTY FOLK!!!!!

No, MattJ, I hit you with a deadly blow to the back of the head right as you showed your face. It was so fast you didn't see or feel it. However you will die within 5 minutes due to internal bleeding. have a nice day!

Dim Mak!

*seizure*

This thread brings up an interesting point of how effective diversion tactics can be.

I think it is not enough to just be aware of your surroundings sometimes, you also need to be aware of the possible motivations of the people in those surroundings.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Slayr:
Joel, I find that striking up conversation first can help throw off their focus the same way that yours was cut off. Ask them a random off-the-wall question like the one that stumped you. This makes their mind wonder (You may remember some examples from class before that I use). Also, don't stop and talk, continue walking like you have somewhere to be and are late. Sometimes if you are uncomfortable, role-playing can help as well. Act like someone just called you on your cellphone or something like that which would supposedly get someone else involved, thus decreasing the likelihood of attack. I have been known to act like I'v gotta pee really bad or if someone is about to ask me for money, I ask them for it first. I know, I'm a big jerk but most people already know that.[/QUOTE]

I like the "I gotta pee" routine, I'm just crazy enough to pull that off. All of that's good stuff, I'll have to remember it.

I think this was a good wake-up call for me. I think now in the future I will be more aware of this tactic and not be as vulnerable.
Constant vigilance my friends, constant vigilance. Thank you all for sharing and not making me feel like an idiot.

Joel

PS-Matt, can I have your radio?

[This message has been edited by JoelM (edited 04-09-2005).]