Losing control of your rage

This is my first post [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]. Anyway, Im 16 and have just only recently been in my first fight. I have been learning Shorinji Kempo for several years now and feel that i am fairly experienced.

Anyway, me and my friend booked a tennis court to find 2 other people playing in it. We asked when are you supposed to leave they said 5:00 (it was 4:30 at the time). Well we replied by saying, well we have booked it and had a receipt. So after a few minutes of arguing, they knew they were wrong and left. One of them said to me what are you looking at and walked off. My friend was laughing at me because he found it funny :S. Well the guy said to my friend what are you looking at!? and walked up to him staring at him right in the face. He punched him in the stomach and i stepped in and started beating him to a pulp. I can't remember anything past this point apart from the end where they ended up limping away. My friend said i went red in the face and started thrashing at them. (Ofcourse my friend had helped)

Has this ever happened to any of you??

I meant to write **What are you laughing at** after i had wrote **Well the guy said to my friend**. Sorry hehe

Won a your first real fight. Good.
Lost control during it. Bad.
Stood up for a buddy. Good.
Used Kempo to attack. Bad.

Feels good to actually put that training to use, doesnt it though? Especially when you pull off a style-specific technique, such as a reverse elbow knockout from a Muay Thai student. Apply what you learned to your training - you'll be better for it. The key is learning to efficiently deal with a real adrenaline dump.

Wow, a 16 year old used proper grammar! I sincerely hope this is a legitimate story and not some trollspawn hogwash, Mykal [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif[/IMG]

- Op. Skinny Ninja

lol, i ain't some dumb $H!7. But have you ever been into a fight? and lost control like i did?

I've lost control of my emotions in pretty much every single fight I've been in. It's hard not to and in some ways it's an advantage.

Oh..i know what your talking about. Once i was skateboarding in the park and some A** also on a board went past me but pushed me out of his way causing me to fall. I got up and threw my board at his board (he wasnt going very fast) He tripped and picked up his board like he was gonna hit me with it.

Before he could do anything i went up to him and grabbed his board out of his hand and hit him in the back of the knee with it. i threw it about 15 feet from the 2 of us and began cussing at him and punching him in the face like a madman. I also remember kicking him in the lovesack several times but thats about it. I remember seeing him nearly crying yet still calling me an A**Ho** As he limped off with a bloody nose and a cut on his cheek.

So don't feel alone. Alot of people lose their temper in fights.

Martial Arts training, whatever art you practice will greatly improve your self as a person and your self defence skills if you incorporate mental training. Mental training should also be exercised along side the physical. In such confrontational situations it is easy to lose your calm and focus. This could result in over-reacting, making silly mistakes, forgetting your training altogether or completely freezing making yourself an open target.

Work on conditioning your mind by possibly meditating or acknowledging how your feel in a stressful situation and try to gain control, calm down and focus.

I believe it's the mind and body working together that create's a successful martial artist.

Dear Michael,
I have been learning Shorinji Kempo since before you went to primary school, as a kenshi of Mizuno Sensei, so I feel a little more experienced than you.

This is a disgrace. First, you provoked a fight. Then, you claim, that you beat the other guy to a pulp. Finally, you come to an internet message board and brag about how you lost your rag. I presume you've heard about the six precepts of shorinji kempo? Losing your temper in a blind rage is the most childish, immature and backwards response for a budoka.

[edited - embarassing harsh tone. Apologies]

[This message has been edited by David Dunn (edited 03-30-2005).]

Hi Mykal
I am a former Kenshi (quit a long time ago, but active supporter and online advocate of the best Budo this side of Honshu [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif[/IMG] ), but my reaction from your post is a little different from David Dunn's.

I think I read in your post that the other person threw the first punch ("He punched him in the stomach and I stepped in ..."), but the escalation was still out of proportion to the threat. Still a disgraceful episode, but I sense a different motive for posting than mere "bragging". I think it sounds like you were shocked at what happened and are trying to determine just how "normal" this rage is.

I think some of the previous posts have touched on the adrenalin rush, the loss of fine motor skills and the effects on perception. These physiological changes are all very real and need to be experienced in order to learn how to deal with them effectively. The changes in your body can make it difficult to maintain a "cool head". This is a BIG part of what Martial Art training is all about. If this is your first fight, then this may well be the very first time you've had to deal with this... but beware, it doesn't have to happen during a situation related to combat. Unfortunately, the human body can sometimes throw us this adrenalin-wobbly when under stress for vastly different reasons (like the "Road-Rage" that car-drivers experience when someone cuts in front of them, etc.).

Good training will help you to understand yourself. Help you to control your emotions. Help you to keep calm when faced with unpleasant situations. Hopefully it will help you to avoid acting like a violent thug when a few well-chosen words might have been more appropriate.

Lastly, there are other forums where you'll find a greater proportion of readers who know Shorinji Kempo. Perhaps we might see you on there [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif[/IMG]

Perhaps I misread it as bragging. If I did, apologies to Michael. Nonetheless, you should consider your own (and friend's) role in starting the trouble. Did your actions cause, or at least encourage, the fight? Is it a good idea to laugh at someone you've just kicked off their court, even if it was legitimate? Most importantly, if you need to fight, then losing control is not good, the complete opposite of what training is about. How would you be feeling now if you'd caused some nasty injury?

we need emotinal contact. not anger!
-you know

[This message has been edited by sun-tzu (edited 03-31-2005).]

I am 16 as well, and have been in a couple of scraps. When I was younger I dicoverd that I had a deadly temper so I have managed to control it. About 2 years ago I started mma training. In short no I have never lost my temper in a fight. In sword fighting a good fighter is said to have no emotion. Others may have differing opinions but I see losing your temper as a sign of weakness. Case in point my friend (who has taken boxing for 2 years), his brother, and I, were playing basket ball. His brother did somthing to make him mad, when I stepped in he took a swing at me. Long and short of it, I steppped back from the wild punches, and when he over extended I tapped one in on his head. After about three to the head, he stopped we made up and life went on. I have seen this in my mma traning as well. To sum it up, a level headed fighter can pick you apart easly so try to calm it down.

PS-Come on if we all worked on it just a little, maby every body could get along a little better. From road rage to small misunderstandings that may esclate.

*be like water*

You're normal. I've lost it once. A bully was tormenting me for a whole freakin simester and 1 day... I coulden't take anymore. I launched a palm strike to his chest (knocking him 2-4ft back) and before I could throw a left hook to the face my friends grabbed my arm and yanked my back. (Thank god my friends held me back, he would most likely have a black eye) So it's normal.

Violence is the very last resort in my case. And even when it seems like all other options have been spent, the guy has already started pushing, getting ready to throw punches, I still hesitate. I just don't see the need. I'm 5'3, 130lbs. I got picked on a LOT throughout grade and high school. I've figured out that usually the biggest guys are the easiest to deal with, the moment I step up for myself or don't back down when they threaten me, they get confused and go away. Works like a charm.

I've only been in a few fights throughout my years, and I wouldn't even call them "fights". None lasted more than 30 seconds, and in one case I didn't even fight back. This story I will now relate:

Halloween, don't remember exactly when, Sophmore year probably (I'm 19 now for reference). Me and some buddies were chillin at one of their houses, when we looked down the street and saw some kids tp ing a house. It was some old guy's house who was incapable of cleaning it up, so one of my buddies said, "hey, go over there and scare em off". So I (stupidly) walked over there alone, and yelled in my deepest voice possible "hey you kds, cut that crap out!" I walked right up to one of them, who was shorter than me, and tried to scare him, saying, "you wanna clean this crap up tomorrow, HUH?!!". Well he said nothing, looked like it worked, he looked pretty scared. But then a kid the same height as me walked up and started talkin the typical trash talk. I said absolutely nothing and as he started pushing me, I started to back away, still didn't say anything. Well, then he took a swing at me, a really awkward one too, he swung down at my head. Well I was in shock or somethin, didn't fight back, just stood there and let it happen. He took a couple more shots which I blocked using my training, and then I decided to end this charade and took one big step back and got into a cat stance and got ready to fight back. Problem was there was a curb behind me...tripped, fell, and he was on top of me. He took a couple more shots that landed, asked if I had enough, and for lack of a better answer I said, "Ummm, I guess so". He got up and their crew left, minus a few unused rolls of tp. 10 seconds after my friends arrived to my rescue (lol) and asked what happened, blah blah blah.

Point here being I never even fought back, I only used defensive tactics, even though I could have pummeled the kid. I wasn't angry, and I had every right to be angry at the little punk. It was only after he had already hit me, and I had already blocked several more of his attempts to hit me that I decided I was going to hit back.

Other situations were similar, where I was completely calm and assumed a defensive nature as opposed to fighting back, in all cases I knew the person was unarmed and had no MA experience (school fights with kids I knew).

Point here being anger is what starts fights, not what helps you end them, and even after someone has hit me, I have managed to back away, and "surrendered" to them, and they left and there was no need to go on.

Mind you these are pretty unique situations as well, and should not be taken as the "krane" technique of self-defense.

As Mr. Dunn stated, "this is a disgrace". I completely agree. I've become calmer with my training, because
1. I learned fights are completely unpredictable
2. I know, in most cases, that I could beat the ever lovin sht out of the guy, but then, what's the point of that?
3. People who won the fight because I backed down didn't gain anything, and I didn't lose anything, so why fight?

Anger and MA's don't mix IMO.


P.S.......BUMP!!!......