A conflict I'd like to share

This conflict happened almost a year ago. I haven't seen the guys since, and at least once a day I think about the incident and what could of been done differently. I also recently found out that my girlfriend's Mom's boyfriend is the father of one of the bastards who attacked me.

Anyways, here's the story.

I was home from college for the weekend and went to a high school party in a different town. We were on our way out of the property and I got hit from behind in the driveway by some dickwad. He was just looking for a fight, dumb highschool **** . I'm the last guy who is going to go out of my way to pick a fight. I was dressed nicely and had my new and expensive winter jacket on. I didn't fight back because I didn't want it to get destroyed over some retarded **** like this. After he hit me once he was lipping me off. I stood there not knowing what to do. It was dark and I could hardly see. Some idiot was shutting the garage light off which confused and distracted me. I just wanted to get out of there. I had a beer bottle in my hand and I was thinking about using it on him, but then this other short skinny punk came beside me and took it out of my hands. Then the kid who hit me the first time (in the back of the head) hit me again when my attention was diverted. I focused on him for another second and then the short punk jumped in and gave my a light tap on the chin. It was a sissy punch. I forget how it dissolved, but I ended up walking away from it with a couple of my friends. My friends were around when the incident happened. We were outnumbered and not expecting to fight. I didnt even have my boots tied because I had just left the party.

Even to this day I think of what I could do differently, or how I can make this asshole pay for picking a fight with a complete stranger. I want to teach him a lesson, never to **** with someone you don't know because you never know who you're ****ing with. I suffered three blows to the head (two if you don't count that sissy punk) and I have a little knick under my eye that I'm going to have for the rest of my life because of it. They are cheap, dirty fighters. Now that I have a connection to get to him thru my g/f, I train hard everyday and want to seriously tear him apart when I feel I am ready. I am 5'7" and weigh 165 pounds, and I take western kickboxing. I'm not fat or chubby either. I know out of brute force I can tear this guy apart. He was about 5'9 or 5'10" 140-150 pounds I'm guessing. I'm not afraid of getting hit because I know his punches don't hurt and I have more heart and anger than him.

What are your thoughts on this incident? Would you of reacted similarly to me?

Vytis,
You did the right thing. Walk out of there where no one got seriously hurt. You always think what if...and how I can get back at someone...well think of it this way: You didn't go to the hospital or jail. Really, if you ended up hurting the kid despite him starting it... good chance they will arrest you.

When someone sets you up this way they do it because they think they are stronger. Meaning more people and/or weapons. Let the incident slide and take some cosolation in the fact that you didn't play his game. It obviously wasn't life threatening and you didn't need to make it turn in to that...And you walked away from it. I have had friends stabbed in fights and another friend had a gun pulled on him. You are the lucky one.

-B

Hi Vytis Galeckas,

I can't blame you as I would feel the same way. I still too think about incidences like you that bug me from time to time. Little things like this eat away at a person and are hard to put aside when you dwell on them.

You walked away and this probably was a good idea as who knows where it could lead especially if you were out numbered. You weren't hurt but maybe just your ego. I'd like to say you should take that punk and beat him stupid but then there is the retaliation you'd have to worry about as he might get a couple of buddies to do it to you when you least expect it.

I hear you, I feel for you but have no answers. Just thought you'd like to know somebody else has had the same problem.

You are doing exactly what you need to; training hard every day. But you're not training to fight, Vytis, you're training so you won't have to. If you are meant to cross paths with him again you will but don't try to force the issue. I've been confronted on the streets many times and it's always a stressful and adrenaline-charged situation. The best thing I've found to diffuse a situation is to tell the guy if he wants to fight then to come down to my dojo and sign a waiver so that when he gets beaten senseless he can't go crying to the cops. I've actually gained some friends that way. Your toughest opponent will always be yourself.

There is good advice above, but if I may add my $0.02.
Welcome to the real world. Predators observe and react to behavior they think will give them the greatest possibility for success. Since you are still young and in college there will be many times when situational awareness as well as the ability to defend yourself physically and verbally will be needed to avoid that from happening again. I think you learned this lesson rather cheaply.

As far as teaching him a lesson, in the words of Will Smith " The hate in your heart will destroy you too".
I understand your feelings, but you have to look at this in a positive way before you get yourself in a situation that could end you up in jail. Look at it this way, you took a few shots without protecting yourself and walked away frustated and possibly embarrassed but relatively unharmed.
When you see that person just smile because you know you can take his best. Do not let
your guard down when he is around but do not let a lifetime of anger explode in a barrage of techniques that could put him in the hospital and you in jail.
If you are seriously training now and were not before maybe you should thank him for inspiring you to attain new goals. Only kidding, but you are going to be faster and smarter than you were before so completely evade any attack he throws at you, laughing at him the whole time. Tell him your
grandmother hits harder. Tell him to calm down and grow up. Show him that you are in control and that a mature person does not fight without a good reason. You do not have to hurt him to win back your self respect or the respect of your peers, but if you let anger dictate your actions then you
are actually fighting two battles at once and that makes it more difficult to prevail.

Train hard but stay cool.
Regards,
Al

Thanks a lot for the replies guys. I've wanted to get it off my chest with some people for a while. It makes me feel good that other people who also train in MA say they would of done the same as me.

As I understand, this punk gets into a lot of conflicts. Chances are he has got a lot of ass kickings comming around his way. I heard he attacked some girl at school, and the girl's boyfriend beat the hell out of him. I feel good that what goes around came around for him, but personally, nothing would feel better than correcting him personally. I know if I attacked him, he probably wouldn't remember me. I'd like to do it on my terms, when he doesn't have the security of his friends and environment in his control.

As I remember I also told him after he hit me that I wasn't looking for any trouble. It was obvious he was just looking for a conflict.

By the way, at that point in my life, I had only been doing weight training. Since the incident, I've taken up kickboxing. I've made a lot of self improvements since the conflict that I wouldn't have made otherwise. That's all fine and dandy, but it isn't the same type of satisfaction as rearranging someone's face.

[This message has been edited by Vytis Galeckas (edited 11-18-2004).]