Stupid thing to do

I did a VERY stupid thing yesterday.

I was driving along when some idiot cut me up at a roundabout and nearly hit me. I sounded my horn, more in fright than anger. At the next roundabout, he pulled in front of me, blocking my path and got out of his vehicle.

Obviously, as a lone woman, the sensible thing to do would have been to lock the doors and use the mobile phone to call for help. That is what I would usually advise.

Instead, I also got out of my vehicle and asked him what his problem was. Fortunately, it all turned out OK, but it just goes to show that no matter how much we train and discuss what we would do if...... we don't really know how we would react until we are in a situation.

I still can't believe I was so stupid, and my other half really told me off.
Sharon

What a buzz, makes you feel alive doesnt it.

You got out the car, which means you could deal with the situation better, not sitting strapped and trapped (oh err!) in a car, an easy target. Ok so maybe it could have escalated, but you were in more control out the car.
If he was already in “red mist”, the fact that you thought he was impotent (I hate that word) because you had locked him out the car, could have sent him into melt down.
As a very skilled MA, I think that you would have levelled the playing field much easier out side your car.

The guys was acting on “knee jerk” anger response, made worse by the fact he KNEW he was in the wrong, isn’t pride a wonderful thing? NOT!!!

Road rage is terrible thing; I would never do such a thing… [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/rolleyes.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif[/IMG]

Glad you are ok Sharon,

Regards,

Mark

Thanks Mark, luckily I didn't have to find out whether I am skilled enough to "level the playing field". He was right in my face as soon as I got out. He grabbed my arm, I told him to let go, which he did, and he walked off telling me to "watch it".
Phew!
Thanks again though.
Sharon

Glad your ok......... emotion is a bitch.

Alec

PS, IMO bloke is lucky you didn't break him in two. [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif[/IMG]

i guess i dont have the same control as you, if someone had done that to me and grabbed me i would have flattened him

Next time run him over with your car!
Only kidding, what did you expect from me. [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif[/IMG] Ed

Reminds me of an incident from my wild misspent youth:

One day my friend and I had just come out of radio shack.We were in his scout II(a four wheel drive vehicle from the 70's)and pulled out of the parking lot.Now to do this he had to really gun it,there was road construction and heavy traffic.We are going down the road when we hear what sounds like an angry lawn mower chasing us,we look back and see a little orange vw beatle travelling at a high rate of speed(well,for a vw beatle anyway).We stop at a red light when the guy driving the beatle gets out,walks to the driver side and hits it with a baseball bat and begins to rant,something about gravel thrown on his car.My friend reaches under the seat and pulls "stubby" out("stubby" was a single shot, sawed off 12 ga. shotgun).The guy turned white,dropped the bat and stood there with his mouth open.My friend asks him in a very quiet voice,"Do you want to die?"
The light changed,we drove off.

Moral of story:Anger over bad driving or some imagined offense is not worth bleeding to death in a ditch by the roadside over.

While I am glad you are well after this incident I must agree it was stupid.


I must disagree with Mark 100% you gave up control the minute you got out of the car. In the car you were safe and in a position to use your phone to call fort assistance as you stated. As well by stepping out of the car you escalated the situation and made a physical confrontation more likely.

I also disagree that you skilled MA background provided any justification for getting out of the car – what was this person’s background? You have no idea they could be a skilled martial artists or street fighter, they could have had a weapon.

Chest pounding is all well and good but reality is important as well and you should never enter a situation you can’t control, don’t know all the variables (like the gun noted above) and don’t have a clear advantage. Your brain is the best weapon you have and it needs to be used ahead of violence and confrontation.

For the uncontrolled there is no wisdom,
Nor for the uncontrolled is there power of concentration,
For him without concentration there is no peace,
And for the unpeaceful, how can there be happiness?

Bhagavad Gita

While I am glad you are well after this incident I must agree it was stupid.


I must disagree with Mark 100% you gave up control the minute you got out of the car. In the car you were safe and in a position to use your phone to call fort assistance as you stated. As well by stepping out of the car you escalated the situation and made a physical confrontation more likely.

I also disagree that you skilled MA background provided any justification for getting out of the car – what was this person’s background? You have no idea they could be a skilled martial artists or street fighter, they could have had a weapon.

Chest pounding is all well and good but reality is important as well and you should never enter a situation you can’t control, don’t know all the variables (like the gun noted above) and don’t have a clear advantage. Your brain is the best weapon you have and it needs to be used ahead of violence and confrontation.

For the uncontrolled there is no wisdom,
Nor for the uncontrolled is there power of concentration,For him without concentration there is no peace, And for the unpeaceful, how can there be happiness?

Bhagavad Gita

I have heard it said the best way to get away with murder is to get behind the wheel of a car- so perhaps driving straight at the twat would have sorted the issue.

I see what Mark is saying, sure outside a car you can throw your arms and legs about, and probably in the same position I would have been so boiling with Anger and indignation I'd have done the same, and been sat at home (hopefully) wishing I'd lumped the bloke, which would be the best circumstance - i.e. not having been hurt or having committed any offense.

However, I don't think that is the most sensible course of action... glad you are ok.
Incidentally - do you keep a maglite in your car? Or a fire extinguisher? very necessary motoring accessories for the female driver.....

So YORK KARATE,

Your advice is summarised as the following:-

If we find our selves in imminent danger of being attacked, AND CANNOT DRIVE AWAY!
Sit in the car and wait for it to happen, and then try to defend your self?

Sharon did say that the guy was “blocking my path and got out of his vehicle.”

I always thought that the first rule of surviving a violent encounter was to run away/escape from it.
How do you propose to do this in the situation that Sharon describes?

You give the advice “you should never enter a situation you can’t control” Sharon was already in that situation she blocked in.

I consider a skilled MA far more likely to be able to level the playing field out side the car, perhaps YORK you are a better fighter than runner, or perhaps you can defend your self sitting down in a small metal box, better than you can standing up in the open, however I suspect what is more likely is that you have very little experience of this sort of situation and you quote the aged and very subjective “self defence for all manual.”

Mark

Mark, calm down, no need to get upset.

We are all entitled to our opinions.

I agree what Sharon did was a bad idea, BUT, it WAS a lesson learned, no?

It depends completely on the situation. Could you see the attackers intent? Did he have a weapon? Could you back away?

There is no universal answer, there are just too many variables.

My my Mark temper temper and no reason to YELL, all I did was disagree with you and lay out some solid reasons I didn’t insult your mother for gosh sakes.

First Sharon herself said it was a stupid idea and stated “as a lone woman, the sensible thing to do would have been to lock the doors and use the mobile phone to call for help. So first off I might have used the mobile phone.

Failing that I may have tried the reverse gear in the car.

Finally I am not quoting any “manual” rather I am was using the best weapon I have my mind – rather than emotional based responses and basing my comments on a great deal of personal experience as well of experiences from students.

Emotion plays a major in your ability to successfully respond to a situation and you will think more clearly retain the ability to react intelligently and with appropriate force by reaming calm.

One final question to a martial artist was the cause of this situation really worth endangering your life over? I don’t see it that way when instead of getting out to escalate one could have used a phone or driven away in revere, or perhaps over a curb.

Just my humble opinion because I would rather walk away than fight any day because on a fight you can never ever predict the outcome – remember the 12 gage ?

Wow, york karate, you are very smug. Congrats.
Worst case scenario: the guy had a gun. How would staying in the car have helped?
Second worst case scenario: He had a knife. Well, I can break a car window with a punch. Most people could. Then you are in a little metal box while some guy tries to stab you.
As far as the cell phone option, unless you are Lois Lane, who do you know who could have gotten to your car before the guy did?
The fact is, the only way you would have been safer staying in the car was if:
1. You were in a position to drive away (not blocked in)
2. You had a gun (Not likely)
3. You were on your way to attack dog training with your three dobermans (incidentally, take your dog with you whenever possible. Then it's two on one.)
The way I see it, you handled yourself well.

York & Ender,

As I have often stated, the arguments on this forum are something I enjoy.

It is NEVER personal, just fun.

I welcome any opinion and give mine up for dissection.

Please don’t ever be offended by my posts, its all done in the spirit of the forum.

How could it ever be personal, I don’t know either of you!

BUT YOU ARE BOTH A COUPLE OF WALLYS AND TOTALLY WRONG. [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

Regards,

Mark

[QUOTE]Originally posted by mark:
York & Ender,

As I have often stated, the arguments on this forum are something I enjoy.

It is NEVER personal, just fun.

I welcome any opinion and give mine up for dissection.

Please don’t ever be offended by my posts, its all done in the spirit of the forum.

How could it ever be personal, I don’t know either of you!

BUT YOU ARE BOTH A COUPLE OF WALLYS AND TOTALLY WRONG. [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

Regards,

Mark

[/QUOTE]

Mark, were you poking your tongue out and saying "ner ner ne-ner ner!" whilst posting this?

[IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

In fairness to Sharon's situation, it really easy to sit here and say "Oh Yes, that was silly, wasn't it?", but hands up all the people who have been in slight prang in a car and got out the car to check the damage?

Exactly.

Lets face it, it's not only lone women who are at risk in this situation. Anyone is.

I don't know what the best thing to do in this situation is, perhaps pretend you are foreign and gesticulate a lot, whilst sat in your metal and glass box?

Perhaps getting out and fronting the person, hoping that he will capitulate to your dominant stance and demeanor?

Its up to you. Either way, you can count on two things:

1) the other person will be highly stressed, thus increasing their potential toward aggression and/or violence.

2)when you tell your story to someone, them will probably say what you did was stupid.

[IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

Budo.

Hello again all, here is my 2 cents
In my city we had riots a few years back, it had me thinking about what to do if I'm in a car wearing a seatbelt and one or more attackers approach(rember I'm thinking of a riot or mob situation) here's what I came up with maby it'll help
first I never follow closely enough to get trapped at a light. If I pull up to a light or stop sign, I always leave 1/2 car length between myself and the car infront of me
but only 1/2 a car length just enough so that noone else can squeeze in rember that all you have to do is roll the car 3 feet and the attacker is now out of range(unless he/she has a gun) so just by moving the car a few feet you can thwart any attack, you might suffer some damage to your car but then you get thier liscence plate # and
report them to the police.
some people think of keeping weapons in thier cars
if it makes you feel safer keep a stick, mag light or mace or something in youre car fine. but don't think of using it while strapped in youre car it'll most likely be taken away from you and used against you, or in the case of mace or a spray irratant,what if the wind is blowing, you just maced yourself and cannot drive away or see
so never try to use a weapon in your car.
if it is life and death like the attacker has a weapon (knife, gun etc.)USE THE CAR AS A WEAPON yes a car is a weapon like the drunk driving commercials say
but not unless it's life and death
just stay in youre car if someone approaches roll foreward several feet, if they come up again roll back..

Hi all

This post reminds me that happened to me some years ago! I was in the pub with 3 of my female friends all laughing and joking as you might expect of people in their early 20s.
Well anyway one of my friends accidentally knocked this guy's jacket of his chair, she apologised but he took offense. I guess he thought she wasn't being genuine and got very abusive. It didn't help the fact that my other female friend being immature started grinning at him which he didn't like but also she must have thought he was only joking.
I did feel scared because even though he must have been in his late 50s he was very threatening and although I had just started training in Martial Arts I didn't feel confident enough to do anything but just keep my head down and drink my drink! But afterwards felt ashamed for not defending my friends. I don't know what I could have said to him, in a non confrontational way to deal with him! I certainly didn't want to make things worst by punching him out!
The way I see it it would have been silly to escalate things over such a minor thing!
I even remember one time in a club this guy gestered for me to move from his spot. He didn't ask me nicely or say anything but just non verbally gestered for me to move. Me not wanting to take matters further, I just complied.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by mark:
I consider a skilled MA far more likely to be able to level the playing field out side the car, [/QUOTE]

I'd bet that most of the time, that's true. Although there are cases where the skilled MA beats on the other person, who, not wanting to be humiliated, then levels the playing field further by coming back with a tyre iron or a screwdriver. (What was the blokes name that was done for stabbing that kickboxer in a road rage incident - was it Kenneth Nye?)

I guess the problem is that no one knows what variety of numpty they're dealing with when these decisions (reverse and drive off at speed, get out of the car...) have to be made. You could argue that someone willing to cut you off and force you to stop is going to drive after you if you do attempt to get out of there anyway.

I'm not going to second guess what you did Sharon, but I'm glad both parties (well, ok, you [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif[/IMG] ) walked away unharmed.

Adrenaline pumps and makes us all a little more susceptible to doing things we wouldn't ordinarily do. During that adrenal surge, we actually use less of our frontal lobes during the thought process. It's just a fact of life that we all must embrace.

-John

[QUOTE]Originally posted by nekogami13:
We were in his scout II (SNIP) something about gravel thrown on his car.[/QUOTE]

Well we know he's lying right there don't we. There's no WAY a Scout had enough power to spin the tires [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Shadowfax:
Well we know he's lying right there don't we. There's no WAY a Scout had enough power to spin the tires [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

[/QUOTE]

If you know how to use a clutch, you can make anything throw gravel [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

even if you know how to fight carry a tazer but dont keep it visable.try to get one on a stick so if some prick pulles a knife on you you can zap him in safty

brigadircilo,

problem!

Tazers are NOT legal in the UK.
Seems a bit of a flaw in your plan [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/wink.gif[/IMG]


Mark

I only have one question as Im not a English chap, what is a roundabout?

Bad Sharon...stay in the car your hubby was right!

The car weighs in at what 1500kilos plus...said Mr Angry about 80 or so. No contest.

My only occasion of road rage was a chap i'd blown the horn at doing much the same. It was a hot day and the drivers window was open half way. He reached in to grab or hit me...I hit the window switch and up it went. At this point he started pounding the car. I simply engaged 1st gear and rolled forwards a few yards whilst reminding him of the weight discrepancy involved.
Funny how quickly he calmed down really.
Anyway, glad you are ok! Be careful and stop being such an agressive driver ! heheheh [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Chen Zen:
I only have one question as Im not a English chap, what is a roundabout?[/QUOTE]

Like a crossroads where all vehicles go round in a circle, giving wsy to those on the right (supposedly). In Europe where they drive on the "wrong" side of the rosd [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG] you give way to those on the left (except in Spain where nobody gives way to anybody [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG] )

Do they really have no roundabouts in US?
Sharon

Sharon, they've yet to build a car in the US which can take a bend/corner at more than 5 mph as they don't have them. Roundabouts i just can't see US cars coping with

LOL! Actually they are here but few and far between.

Another off topic story what i was lucky enough to see a while back.

Driver of a car almost took out a motorcyclist when said car driver decided to change lanes without signalling and then change back, Bike sounds horn to car. The traffic stops.

Car driver hoots back then winds window down and shouts at motorcyclist and finally guns his engine so the car (merc or bmw I don't remember) jumps forward a few feet.

Motorcylist responds by parking in fron of car and walks round to the window. Car driver shouts obscenities at him upon which mr motorcyclist reaches in and removes the ignition keys in one swift movement. With mr car driver now screaming he walks calmly to the drain at the road side and dops the keys down the drain. After this he simply mounted up and eased off on the bike through the traffic.

The sheer hilarity made up for being stuck in traffic for a short while !!!!!!

[IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG] [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG]

Ken:

BWA HA HAAAAAA!!!! [IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/biggrin.gif[/IMG] (I've been the motorcyclist who almost got run over too many times in my life.)

Sharon:

We have roundabouts here in the US, where we call them "traffic circles", but they are not all that common. People seem to have trouble getting their head around the concept.

[IMG]http://www.fightingarts.com/forums/ubb/smile.gif[/IMG]