*Some advice please*

Hello everyone,

I came to this site in hope to gain some insight into fighting. To be honest the real reason why I came here is because my little brother is all grown up now and is now my big brother( im 25 he’s 21) and he’s always messing with me ha-ha. My brother has about 15 lbs on me and thinks he’s a tough guy (im 5’9 145lbs, he’s 6”0 160).

I have never been in a real fight my whole life. I do have good agility and coordination. IV played many sports but im not in the best shape right now. Im going to gain another 10lbs at least and get my cardio vascular health going again.

So what I would like to know is where to begin. Im just too damn soft, I think I need someone to toughen me up and knock me around a little bit ha-ha. I live in the Toronto area and think I would like to try boxing. Is boxing a good place to start? I mean I don’t even know how to throw a proper punch. I don’t see myself in one of those white outfits barefooted. I always have to wear shoes and cannot be barefooted because of some back problems. I just want to learn how to stand up for myself better, not only against my silly brother but in general if some one tried to rob me or what not on the streets. In my eyes I think I need some mean old [censored] to beat my ass in his basement and show me how to defend myself ha-ha. I don’t know please give me some insight. I do not have a lot of cash to throw around as well right now.


Thank You

Good job, that's quite an achievement. One you should try to continue.



Boxing is a great place to start, especially if you're strapped for cash. You'll learn a really good foundation in a good boxing gym. However, avoid places where people have a bad attitude. Make sure everything's above board and that the people at the gym are welcoming (doesn't mean they aren't tough, but you don't just want to be a punching bag. Remember, you're there to learn and get better). Make sure they don't go full bore all the time, sparring should be light, save the heavy hits for competitions and self defence.



If you're interested in other MA, you can ask to wear shoes while training. If you have medical reasons, you'll probably be allowed to wear them. That said, boxing is as good a place as any to start.



I think this is a totally different skill entirely, learning how to stand up for yourself is more about being assertive than learning about martial arts. Granted, MA helps with self confidence but I think there's more to your issues than that. As to self defence, boxing is a good foundation but there's much more to learn than how to throw a good punch. Check out the self defense forum for more info.



Good luck!

Boxing is great, it's how I got started. No other martial art gets you in better shape in my experience. You learn how to punch, but more importantly, how do avoid getting punched.

Other martial arts/combat sports where you don't have to be barefooted are: Wrestling, Sambo/Sombo, Savate, Systema or Krav Maga. Being in Toronto, you to have one of the top Systema instructors in the world in Vladimir Vasiliev in your area. Anyone I know who has trained with Vlad has only had good things to say.

Leo is correct, staying out of trouble and knowing how to fight are 2 different things.

Good Luck!

Thank You very much for responding. I just wanted to follow up with leo_e_49 and prizewriter.

In regards to boxing what does "Make sure everything's above board" mean? "save the heavy hits for competitions and self defence" So I should look into self defense classes as well, will tht help me?

Me and my brother fight all the time but no iv never been in a fight outside of tht. Your right when you say i need to assert myself better, how do i do tht, and get some more self confidence in tht area?

I dont look for fights obviously, but theres been cases where iv backed down when i really didnt want too because i no im not tht big and would most likely get messed up.

So yes, basically i want to assert myself better and not be so affraid to fight.

Thank You guys

Not looking for fights and controlling your ego when things get heated so you don't get in to a fight is exactly the sort of thing you should be doing. That sort of stuff IS self defence. People can avoid trouble and stay out of fights there entire lives without ever taking martial arts classes.

That said, if you want to control your stress and fear, will say this one more time: SYSTEMA

Systema is a Russian system that originated from the Soviet Military. It involves the concept of "total relaxation". Aside from fighting skills, they teach exercises to help a person relax mentally and physically even in stressful situations. As I said, you have one of the best instructors in the world in Toronto. Would really, really encourage you to try at least one class.