Love...
Why do we love? WHAT is love exatly anyway? What is the nature of love? I'm having trouble figuring it all out, is it just chemical reactions and connections in our brai nand other natural causes or more? What do you all think?
Posted by: Mr_Heretik
Re: Love... - 01/07/07 03:49 PM
Leave it to stormdragon to post the sappy threads.
All these grizzled ancients might have something more useful to say.
Posted by: Cord
Re: Love... - 01/07/07 04:04 PM
Love is like a joke- try and explain it and it stops making sense.
You will know exactly what love is when it happens to you. Thats all there is to it.
Posted by: MattJ
Re: Love... - 01/07/07 04:06 PM
It's chemicals. But don't let that stop you from enjoying and benefitting from it.
Like Cord said, you'll know it when you find it. That IS really all you need to know.
So, can love be easily broken? I mean love with a strong foundation; can it be interphered with, with a few wrong words or something?
with "true love," (and who will ever know what that means), i think wtrong words can only hurt it if such words are used on more than one occasion and/or represent a deeper problem. if it's just a one-time deal of someone losing control and saying things they regret, i think someone who really loves that person forgives them, unless they're not really ready to be in love. that probably doesn't help, but maybe it does....
Posted by: Crash
Re: Love... - 01/07/07 06:47 PM
Dude, just ask her....
Ok thanks that does help. Hey, when you are talking to osmeone (who oyu are interested in) and you come to a place where you dont know vwhat else to say, what do oyu do? That sometimes happens to me and it's kind of annoying and I feel really stupid.
btw, sorry for the teeny bopper questions but hey, I'm a teen.
Posted by: crablord
Re: Love... - 01/07/07 06:56 PM
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sorry for the teeny bopper questions but hey, I'm a queen
fixed that
Oh yeah? Ya think so? Huh, huh HUH?!\ Well you are a limp noodle!
Posted by: Leo_E_49
Re: Love... - 01/07/07 08:24 PM
When we need to find out something on the internet there's only one place to find it:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=love&btnG=Google+Search
Seriously though, hasn't this question been answered like 1000 times on the philosophy forum?
Posted by: MarkW
Re: Love... - 01/07/07 09:56 PM
'What is love?' is a question that can't be answered, as love is an idea that is beyond the logic of everyday men. So sayeth the wise man
Posted by: crablord
Re: Love... - 01/07/07 10:43 PM
lmao leo, look at the first thing that comes up in your search
well, first of all, remember that one's own nerves are always more noticeable to oneself than to others. setting that aside.... you just kind of have to take the plunge and try to talk to someone, and then maybe you run out of stuff to say, and then that's ok cuz you'll catch them next time. if you feel like you said/did something stupid, congratulate yourself for trying despite the fact that it was hard. in my experience, and with those of a lot of people i've talked to over the years, the best approach is to just be yourself, don't try to be overly tough or cool or like you don't care, and someone who appreciates YOU for who you are will respond. and if they don't, it's on to the next one.... believe me, when i was your age, i couldn't imagine that i'd ever like anyone more than than the person i liked at that time, but other people always come along. so dont' sweat it if the current person doensn't work out, just learn from it, keep doing the things you like to do (the best way to meet people, i think), and always remember that life is most interesting when you take chances (just not stupid ones like bungee-jumping or playing the lottery). and if worse comes to worse, and you're panicking in the heat of the moment, just remind yourself that it's all a big mystery that no one understands, and that it's all just too crazy and absurd, enjoy the ride, etc.... AND that we've all been thru it at one point or another. AND (i keep thinking of things to say) that as you get older you will learn to value yourself more and that, saccharine and cliched as it may sound, that's really important and helpful in these and all other life matters.
Posted by: crablord
Re: Love... - 01/07/07 10:54 PM
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well, first of all, remember that one's own nerves are always more noticeable to oneself than to others. setting that aside.... you just kind of have to take the plunge and try to talk to someone, and then maybe you run out of stuff to say, and then that's ok cuz you'll catch them next time. if you feel like you said/did something stupid, congratulate yourself for trying despite the fact that it was hard. in my experience, and with those of a lot of people i've talked to over the years, the best approach is to just be yourself, don't try to be overly tough or cool or like you don't care, and someone who appreciates YOU for who you are will respond. and if they don't, it's on to the next one.... believe me, when i was your age, i couldn't imagine that i'd ever like anyone more than than the person i liked at that time, but other people always come along. so dont' sweat it if the current person doensn't work out, just learn from it, keep doing the things you like to do (the best way to meet people, i think), and always remember that life is most interesting when you take chances (just not stupid ones like bungee-jumping or playing the lottery). and if worse comes to worse, and you're panicking in the heat of the moment, just remind yourself that it's all a big mystery that no one understands, and that it's all just too crazy and absurd, enjoy the ride, etc.... AND that we've all been thru it at one point or another. AND (i keep thinking of things to say) that as you get older you will learn to value yourself more and that, saccharine and cliched as it may sound, that's really important and helpful in these and all other life matters.
in other words your ugly and no girl could ever possibly want you. Forget all of your hopes and dreams, your nothing.
don't listen to him! he's probably your age and he's already bitter!
Posted by: clmibb
Re: Love... - 01/07/07 11:21 PM
What's love got to do got to do with it
What's love but a second hand emotion
Sorry I had to do it. Everytime I hear someone asking about love I think of Tina Turner. LOL. Seriously Storm, when you find "her" you'll know it. When you run out of stuff to say, it's ok. I did a lot of group dates when I was younger so it almost makes conversation easier. It's ok to have pauses in conversation. When my husband and I were dating I actually enjoyed the pauses in conversation. I'm not a big talker and I enjoy the quiet. Just to be on the couch in his arms watching a rented movie was enough for me.
Casey
What about when talking on the phone?
Posted by: clmibb
Re: Love... - 01/08/07 12:07 AM
HMMMM I just don't chit chat on the phone (odd for a girl I know). I'm the sort that tell me what you need to tell me and let me go. Contrary to popular belief, you can talk to girls about anything. Just try it. Talk to her like you would one of your friends that you've known for a long time. Talk about how your day went, what you hope to work on in your MA class, what you accomplished in class. Whatever! You don't have to play 20 questions all the time. Oh and try to keep the "What are you thinking about right now?" question to a minimum. I hate that question! I'd tell my husband honestly "I'm thinking that instead of sitting here on the couch wasting time that I could be doing a load of laundry and getting supper started." He quit asking after he realized that he wasn't ALWAYS the first thought on my mind. Don't get me wrong I love my husband and I'm almost always thinking about him (especially since I don't see him for a week at a time) but he's not always in my forethought. I have two kids and they are my first priority right now. He knows that. Then it's him, the household chores, then everything else falls in place. If you run out of things to say get off the phone. That's ok. Just because you run out of things to say doesn't make you an emo. I run out of things to say to my husband. Just relax! Take a deep breath everything will be ok!
Casey
Posted by: crablord
Re: Love... - 01/08/07 05:12 AM
or you could accept the fact that your life is ruined. Either one man.
crab is pretty funny for a CRAB. anyway, one approach i discovered a few years ago when calling someone is to instead of first saying "what's up?" or "how are you?", say "what are you doing?" i found that people tend to find words more easily when i ask them that, and then i feel more relaxed and things flow better. another possibility is to have a short clear large-print (important) list of possible discussion topics in front of you when you're on the phone, tho that should only be resorted to under duress, because otherwise it sounds too rote and can be too distracting.
but honestly, i agree with the other old lady giving you advice: if there's a silence, don't sweat it, there's no magic approach or line you should throw out there, adn sometimes silence is nice. besides, she's probably not expecting perfection, and if she is, then she's not good enough for you! how boring is perfection, seriously. rough edges are what make people interesting. oh, but i could give you one line to throw in: "so, what do you think of the nice global warming we're having?" (but maybe you're weather hasn't been really really weird this "winter" like ours in chicago has).
Posted by: harlan
Re: Love... - 01/08/07 08:05 AM
Bah...humbug. It's a 'feel good' sensation that is the result of chemicals flooding your bloodstream and bathing your brain. Mother Nature just being a biotch.
Posted by: Leo_E_49
Re: Love... - 01/08/07 08:08 AM
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lmao leo, look at the first thing that comes up in your search
Posted by: crablord
Re: Love... - 01/08/07 08:09 AM
Quote:
crab is pretty funny for a CRAB. anyway, one approach i discovered a few years ago when calling someone is to instead of first saying "what's up?" or "how are you?", say "what are you doing?" i found that people tend to find words more easily when i ask them that, and then i feel more relaxed and things flow better. another possibility is to have a short clear large-print (important) list of possible discussion topics in front of you when you're on the phone, tho that should only be resorted to under duress, because otherwise it sounds too rote and can be too distracting.
but honestly, i agree with the other old lady giving you advice: if there's a silence, don't sweat it, there's no magic approach or line you should throw out there, adn sometimes silence is nice. besides, she's probably not expecting perfection, and if she is, then she's not good enough for you! how boring is perfection, seriously. rough edges are what make people interesting. oh, but i could give you one line to throw in: "so, what do you think of the nice global warming we're having?" (but maybe you're weather hasn't been really really weird this "winter" like ours in chicago has).
storm, what piano is trying to say is that your totally screwed.
Posted by: JoelM
Re: Love... - 01/08/07 08:25 AM
Crab, give it a break, you're one more post away from trolling.
Posted by: crablord
Re: Love... - 01/08/07 08:36 AM
im one more post away from trolling???
So oyu really can talk to them about anything, like how you're feeling and what you're thinking and al lthat stuff Like you can talk to them about feleings and they wont mind?
And asking wat she's doing wil lbe good although I often do that anyway and she turns out to no be doing a whole lot but you know. Thanks everyone!
Crab, should I tell the forum about your recent bad luck with girls?
Posted by: clmibb
Re: Love... - 01/08/07 10:53 AM
Just about ya. Just be forwarned that if you go and spill your guts to her the possible rejection if she doesn't feel the same way.
Casey
I'm well aware. What's funny is no matter how much of an idiot I've been at times she's still crazy for me. Actually I had that conversation problem last night so I broke all the social rules and actually asked her "what do you normally do when you come to a mental block and cant think of anything ot talk about? And why does this always happen when I talk to girls I'm interested in?" And that opened up several minutes of conversation so it was cool. Then she sadly had to live.
Posted by: RazorFoot
Re: Love... - 01/08/07 03:05 PM
Love died with Shakespeare (sp). Now there is only shared loneliness between two broken hearts hoping for some type of reconciliation to that deep longing and yearning feeling that claws at them inside. Two people hoping that if they can find solice in one another, that maybe, just maybe it will make that feeling go away. Maybe, for one brief moment, they can actually feel warmth, comfort, and a little joy before it is snatched from them and dashed upon the rocks of despair and hopelessness once again before returning them to the ever widening black hole that is their true life.
NAH! Love is very real. It just takes a while to find it and I think the response is chemical but I do not believe that it is all chemical. I think there is a bit to it that defies explanation which is why so many people have so much difficulty dealing with it and understanding it.
Scottie
Posted by: Dereck
Re: Love... - 01/08/07 06:32 PM
What is love? This is the old and ageless question with so many answers.
I'll tell you what love is. Love is when you have an operation on your knee and when you are laying in bed your wife makes your breakfast and feeds it to you. Love is before she goes to work she puts a cooler beside the bed with my lunch in it. Love is putting my lunch and snacks in my beer fridge so that I don't have to travel far to get it. Love is lying around on the couch and your wife brings you food, ice packs and makes sure you are comfortable and feeling well. Love is when she is out and she sees something that she thinks I will like and brings it home and the rewards is the smile on my face. Love is when I wake up from a nightmare and she calms me down and holds me till I go back to sleep. Love is putting up with me coming to bed early in the morning when many people are just getting up to go to work. Love is making my lunches every night so that when I go to work the next day it is ready for me to take. Love is allowing me to work out and go to classes even though it cuts into "our" time. I love this person ... who wouldn't?
P.S. I would tell you things I do for her but then you would all think of me as a wussy so I will refrain from doing so.
Posted by: harlan
Re: Love... - 01/08/07 06:35 PM
Well...we all know that love makes you crazy.
Dereck that was beautiful! You should be a writer!
Posted by: BrianS
Re: Love... - 01/08/07 09:53 PM
That's awesome Dereck. Your wife is great and you are no wussy!!
You know what's cool and liberating is when you are so sick and tired of being perfect in everything especially interpersonal relationships that you jsut stop caring and say whatever is on your mind at the moment that catches your fancy. Ahhhhhh.
Posted by: mark
Re: Love... - 01/09/07 02:22 AM
OH GOODY!!!!!
Cant resist an opportunity to be cynical and use one of favourite quotes
“ LOVE IS FOR POETS AND CHILDREN”
ouch!!!!! The wife was reading over my shoulder
Mark
lol Dereck...love sounds awefully like a Butler
Posted by: nelsdogg
Re: Love... - 01/09/07 03:28 AM
yeep
love is like a round ball of potato-ness rolling down a hill
*makes smart wise face*
Why do we love?
Cuz we are slow learners
WHAT is love exatly anyway?
The slow beginnings of a really bad month
What is the nature of love?
Bait and switch
I find it funny that the definition of insanity is to repeat the same thing over and over but expect a different result. With love though you are told to keep trying.
-JBC-
Now I know why I am still single; I’m a cynical @$$HOLE (but I dare you to argue with my logic)
Johnny you are cynical, but good point. Love does requier doing sort of the same thing (with different methods if you are smart) and expecting a idfferent result. Sometimes it works (liken ow for me..sort of lol).
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Johnny you are cynical
Well now that we got that out of the way, how about I let my jaded side come out and play for a second…
Help me out here…
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with different methods
How many different methods are their really, you’re either yourself or you’re not; after that the only thing that changes is the scenery…
Like I said, insanity
-JBC-
Oh yea, I’m bitter too
Definition of second marriage. The triumph of hope over experience!
MC.
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How many different methods are their really, you’re either yourself or you’re not; after that the only thing that changes is the scenery…
wow, that's really wise and poetic. i may actually put it on my refridgerator (i'm not kidding). how old are you, to be so smart and perceptive? 
Well, I guess it means not really being yourself and hoping for better results and then when things get serious THEN you can be urself, maybe when the other person is hopelessly in love with you.
i interpreted it as you can choose to be yourself or not, it almost doesn't matter, the only thing you can count on is that you will have to make that choice every time the scenery changes (ie, every time a new person comes along). like any poetry, it's open to so many possible interpretations!
I am not going to try to alter your opinion of the topic, please don’t read it as such, and thank you BTW for not getting offended at my comments.
But, the issue with this…
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not really being yourself and hoping for better results
…is, it doesn’t work like one would hope it would. You end up fall into the trap of trying to change to make people happy all the time – love or not - eventually you forget who you really are. Trust me that is a VERY bad place to be in.
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(liken ow for me..sort of lol).
Good luck.
-JBC-
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wow, that's really wise and poetic. i may actually put it on my refridgerator (i'm not kidding).
Well, I have to say I have had many things said about me in forums and in life, but never has any body said they want to put what I said on their fridge…
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how old are you, to be so smart and perceptive?
Depends on who you ask and when. I have been told I’m the oldest 12 year old that you would ever meet, others will tell you I’m 34; take your pick
-JBC-
What if instead of changing to please others you change to escape having others displease you (mentally, emotionally, etc)?
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Well, I have to say I have had many things said about me in forums and in life, but never has any body said they want to put what I said on their fridge…
happy to oblige!
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What if instead of changing to please others you change to escape having others displease you (mentally, emotionally, etc)?
wow, that's pretty complex, but i still wouldn't do it, unless you're trying to get along with someone in the office or something...
I'm just trying to get along with out getting hurt so much. I apparently feel too much. Take things too seriously. I mean come on I actually want to be happy and make someone happy, crazy huh.
Quote:
What if instead of changing to please others you change to escape…
Sounds kind of messed up when you drop that last part off doesn’t it…
But anyway, you realize you just finished the sentence…
“I’ll change to make you happy, so you wont hurt me”
Either way you’re just escaping yourself
-JBC-
Sorry, I was in a really bad mood when I wrote all that. I'm doing pretty well now, after having a change of attitude and rediscovering my faith. I'm done escaping myself...
I’m sorry, it’s just that I spent the last 3 years tearing myself up over things that where way outside of my control. This thread just kind of ties together with what I was thinking about for those last three year.
Didn’t mean to get all wishy-washy,
-JBC-
Nah it's all good, I'm glad your're honest and I can benifit form your experience. Thanks
I think you have enough advice to last you for two life-times.
Well, here is one more -- don't go looking for the ideal woman; a wife, as Dereck found out only after a knee operation, is much easier to find.
And for the girls, if you have trouble getting him to propose, go for a dinner at a Chinese restaurant and when he ask whether you prefer your rice fried or boiled, say THROWN!
And here's a story I like to share. I asked a friend of mine why he was home so early from a date. He said that they sat awhile and chatted and then suddenly she turned out the lights. So he took the hint and left.
And if you wonder why sometimes marriages failed, it's like the nudist couple who decided to part company because they have been seeing too much of each other.
And finally if you and that someone decides not to get married afterall, it's quite allright because it does seems silly to get a license when the hunting is over.
Posted by: Taison
Re: Love... - 01/25/07 11:37 PM
Ok, this is enough advice for me. If only I wasn't bald. Here it goes!!!
-Taison out
All very funny Butterfly but I dont get the chinese one.
Posted by: DaDoN_1
Re: Love... - 01/29/07 08:06 PM
A story to explain why love is so crazy!
Title:A Tale Of Love
A Tale of Love
A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it
for the first time, virtues and vices floated around and were bored, not
knowing what to do. One day, all the vices and virtues were gathered
together and were more bored than ever.
Suddenly, Ingenious came up with an idea:
"Let's play hide and seek!" All of them liked the idea and immediately
Madness shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!"
And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek Madness, all the
others agreed. Madness leaned against a tree and started to count: "One,
two, three..."
As Madness counted, the vices and virtues went hiding. Tenderness hung
itself on the horn of the moon, Treason hid in a pile of garbage.
Fondness curled up between the clouds and Passion went to the centre of
the earth. Lie said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the
bottom of the lake, whilst Avarice entered a sack that he ended up
breaking.
And Madness continued to count: "... seventy nine, eighty, eightyone..."
By this time, all the vices and virtues were already hidden - except Love.
For undecided as Love is, he could not decide where to hide. And this
should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide
Love.
Madness: "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven..."
Just when Madness got to one hundred, Love jumped into a rose bush
where he hid. And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I'm
coming!" As Madness turned around, Laziness was the first to be found,
because Laziness had no energy to hide. Then he spotted Tenderness in
the horn of the moon, Lie at the bottom of the lake and Passion at the
centre of the earth. One by one, Madness found them all -except Love.
Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love.
Envious of Love, Envy whispered to Madness: "You only need to find
Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush."
Madness grabbed a wooden pitch fork and stabbed wildly at the rose
bush. Madness stabbed and stabbed until a heartbreaking cry made him
stop. Love appeared from the rose bush, covering his face with his
hands.
Between his fingers ran two trickles of blood from his eyes.
Madness, so anxious to find Love, had stabbed out Love's eyes with a
pitch fork. "What have I done! What have I done!" Madness shouted. "I
have left you blind! How can I repair it?"
And Love answered: "You cannot repair my eyes. But if you want to do
something for me, you can be my guide."
And so it came about that from that day on, Love is blind and is always
accompanied by Madness.
Posted by: MattJ
Re: Love... - 01/29/07 08:48 PM
Quote:
All very funny Butterfly but I dont get the chinese one.
Thrown rice = marriage ceremony