Irritating people at work

If I could get paid for that, I would be a millionaire. Anybody ever do this kind of stuff? -

* Insert your boss's/co-worker's name into song lyrics inappropriately.

One of my favorites. The Beatles - "I wanna hold (bosses name) hand" Neil Young - "Old (bosses name), look at your life, I'm a lot like you were" Kanye West - "Now I ain't saying (co-workers name)'s a gold digger, but...", etc. Hours of fun for me, prefereably loud and off-key.

* Polite but gender-inappropriate greetings or comments.

Burly mechanic walks in for parts. I greet him with "Ma'am, how may I help you?" Or "How may I help you, Sir or Ma'am?"

Or I hand them a tiny part, and ask "Do you need some help with that? You appear to be in a delicate condition?"

* Embarrassing requests for assistance

Walk into the shop, see someone in a red car, under the hood. Loudly ask "Excuse me - would everyone who is a jackass please work under the hood of a red car." Wait for pointing and laughing of said jackass. Loudly proclaim "THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION." Walk away.

Announce that you are going to the restroom, and say that you will need help. If they ask for what, say you'll SHOW them when you go in there.

Personal favorite: Letting a coworker get about 50 yards from you then yelling something to them but letting it trail off into gibberish. They turn to say "What?" and you repeat it the same way. Let the first part of your sentence make sense but have the last few words just be garbage like, "Hey Tony, did you remember to bosowiches tella makka?"

They yell "What?" as they start walking back to you. Give them a disgusted look and repeat the same crap again with more feeling this time. Once again, they give you "what?". Then, wait till they get almost right next to you and repeat the same phrase the same way you did the first time to them. Oh yeah, that's a crowd pleaser.

They truly enjoy walking the same distance twice. Think of it this way, you are helping them to develop patience and understanding while giving them needed exercise, and entertaining yourself at the same time. A win-win situation for all.

Scottie

Call people over to you and then when they ask what you want you say, I just wanted to see if you'd come over. If somebody leaves their desk we will ring their phone and when they get there hang up just in time so they can't see who called. Or if somebody is on a personal call you buzz their phone so it beeps and then say got to go as I have another call and when they hang up that call you also hang up.

If you have gas don't do it in your area. When somebody is not in their area you go to their's and let it go ... wait a few seconds so it doesn't follow you ... and then leave. Nice little present.

Leave phone messages on people's voice mail that cannot be understood or you scream or bang the phone or what have you.

I have access to many thing for e-mails so I send e-mails to people within the company and copy and paste other people's signatures. When people used to leave their computers unattended and did not lock it I would send e-mails to people and this has created some fun. Or change their screen saver to words that scroll across the screen like "I love little boys" or something even stupider. One guy moved into a new house so I went to his computer and invited the company Canada wide and said don't bring booze and bring your kids. He got an upteenth amount of replies. This same guy is a big flirt and when drunk at a golf tournament was bugging one of the ladies that used to sit beside me. When she left her computer unattended I sent him an e-mail saying that she'd like to see where things would go. He called her that night and they both knew immediately it was me after some embarrassing starting converstation.

This same guy, and I should make mention is a friend, has done some things to me too. We were at a wedding and the recepiton was at a centre where older folks get together and sign up for things. He signed me up for lawn bowling and then called me to see when I could play. Last month I got my revenge and signed him up at the same place for a trip to some place and they phoned to applogize as they had to cancel. When I got this guy hired he would constantly scare me so I copied his keys and hid in his backseat during the winter. I watched him have his coffee. He came and warmed up the car and went back in. When he got in and started backing up I jumped up and scared him ... big time. Of course he gets me back and I get him back. Somebody soaked his chair and he swapped it for mine in the lunch room. I ended up getting soaked through my grey dress pants and lost it and threw the chair threw a wall ... and we had just moved into a new building. I hid the hole and threatened the lives of everybody if they told. I fixed the hole and 8 years later nobody has said anything.

Lots of good fun you can have with work people. We have one planned for a lady who phones every Friday to Pizza Hut to place their supper order. We are going to change it one night on her.

Once I brought a package of hot dogs to work. I put them inside the 3 ring binders of peoples dayplanners.

The day we moved into our new offices I cut 30 2 1/2 inch circles of 3m doublestick tape. I came in early and put them on all the phone recievers in the department. I waited til 8:35 then I started making calls.

After that... well, I also sent people potatoes through the interoffice mail.

Our plant manager when away on holidays so we filled his office with empty 45 gallon drums so that he couldn't get into his office when he got back. I changed out all of family pictures in his office once with pictures of other people including Rita McNeil and he didn't notice for days. At a friends house I cut out the picture of somebody and put it over one of their family members and nobody noticed for months.

I've been looking for a "fart spray" that I want to have so when our plant manager has a meeting in this office that I can spray prior. Man do we bug this guy lots.

Boy am I glad I don't work in your office Dereck!

Laura

You'd have fun Laura. We only bug the people we like.

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I have access to many thing for e-mails so I send e-mails to people within the company and copy and paste other people's signatures.

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TEE HEE! While I would never do anything like that , I have heard about people that sign other people up to annoying email things. A coworker, who was a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan, used to repeatedly sign my boss up for Steeler fan websites and emails. My boss HATES the Steelers (big Ravens fan), so this was a great source of amusement for us all. Except for my boss.