Posted by: AHallwyler
A Return Home Brings a New View - 04/30/10 12:57 AM
Hello everyone.
It's been a few years (I think) since I posted on this fine forum. I was a member for many years under the username Alejandro, but the process of forgetting passwords and changing e-mails...you know. It's good to be back.
Sort-of short form of a very long story, if you don't mind: this year I emerged from a couple years of downward spiraling with addiction and alcoholism, and, after hitting a very rough bottom, began recovery. It's been like starting my life over again. I thank karate for always being there for me, no matter how wretched I became. Recovery is a beautiful experience, but it's not the topic of my post.
I returned home last month, to my small hometown. One thing that's changed for me this year is a revival of my karate training, which, always such a focal point of my life, had been neglected for some time. I've been training on my own as usual, regaining strength and confidence one kata, one waza at a time, to steadily feel the whole of karate. Letting my body remind me of its unique principles: chinkuchi, kime, ukeru; and its powers of the mind: zanshin, mizu no kokoro, and so on. All its wonders. I feel good, and proud to call myself a karate-ka once again.
But I returned to find my home-dojo, the one I trained and instructed in for 8 of my 13 or so karate-years, in strife: disappointed students, inconsistent training, a move away from classical teaching, unprepared students being given teaching responsibility, let downs, over-emphasis on competition, and a host of other issues, etc etc. Basically chaos, or at least a decline and change I'm not fond of. Regretably, I will not be returning to formal training at that dojo. If I do, I know I won't receive the type of training I desire, will be in battle with others over the "correct" way of doing things, will be much too pressured to compete, and will be pressed to take on classes of my own. It's sad to see this change, but it's one I can't control, and will not attempt to. So be it.
In my entire life this year, I've rediscovered the value of simplicity, the small, good things that bring us joy, peace. The same goes for my karate, for budo, as I've realized what few methods I need - provided I use them correctly - to train appropriately. I am content to continue solo training for now, because a simple day containing simple training has been giving me focus like never before.
I can awake early to a calm New Mexican morning, have a cup of java, and step outside to the edge of a dense pine forest. There I have space to limber up, do a few exercises, then clear my mind and body with ten repetitions of a kata, maybe naihanchi or wansu. I can follow that with the focused practice of a couple waza on a makiwara, and then meditate. With that I am fully prepared to face another day, and know it will be a good one. To me, at this point in my life, that is wonderful karate, and good karatedo living.
Is that not budo training in its fundamental form?
I had a time when I was obsessed with learning new technique, studying new principles, swelling my personal library of karate and preparing for the next yudansha rank. That's well and good, but this new perspective of simplicity in budo brings me a different and better type of satisfaction from training - one that is more useful to me, for now. We are all so bogged down these days, the lovely brevity and stripped beauty of a single kata is all too easy to miss. And it is beautiful, and should inspire awe, both from the one who executes the movements, and from observing eyes.
Perhaps, when the opportunity is sought, I will continue formal dojo-training in a specific style, because it is important, it is crucial to the development of the karate-ka. I also just love a good dojo environment, and yearn for many of its aspects. I have access to an old training partner in town, one who has also drifted from the dojo, so I can pursue many areas of training requiring two bodies (kote kitae and bunkai-based kumite, mainly). But at this time and with no rush to change, I am content to be essentially without "style," without ryu, and to embrace the karate that is embedded in my body, learn from it, let it teach me and let it grow.
I am truly grateful for the nature of karate, in that I can take it with me anywhere. It will go with me everywhere I move, even into the dark pits of addiction and despair, and back to a state of peace.
For now I'll observe and read for a while, see what everyone's talking about these days, but I hope to be posting soon. Thanks to all who've maintained this great common space.
In budo,
Alex
It's been a few years (I think) since I posted on this fine forum. I was a member for many years under the username Alejandro, but the process of forgetting passwords and changing e-mails...you know. It's good to be back.
Sort-of short form of a very long story, if you don't mind: this year I emerged from a couple years of downward spiraling with addiction and alcoholism, and, after hitting a very rough bottom, began recovery. It's been like starting my life over again. I thank karate for always being there for me, no matter how wretched I became. Recovery is a beautiful experience, but it's not the topic of my post.
I returned home last month, to my small hometown. One thing that's changed for me this year is a revival of my karate training, which, always such a focal point of my life, had been neglected for some time. I've been training on my own as usual, regaining strength and confidence one kata, one waza at a time, to steadily feel the whole of karate. Letting my body remind me of its unique principles: chinkuchi, kime, ukeru; and its powers of the mind: zanshin, mizu no kokoro, and so on. All its wonders. I feel good, and proud to call myself a karate-ka once again.
But I returned to find my home-dojo, the one I trained and instructed in for 8 of my 13 or so karate-years, in strife: disappointed students, inconsistent training, a move away from classical teaching, unprepared students being given teaching responsibility, let downs, over-emphasis on competition, and a host of other issues, etc etc. Basically chaos, or at least a decline and change I'm not fond of. Regretably, I will not be returning to formal training at that dojo. If I do, I know I won't receive the type of training I desire, will be in battle with others over the "correct" way of doing things, will be much too pressured to compete, and will be pressed to take on classes of my own. It's sad to see this change, but it's one I can't control, and will not attempt to. So be it.
In my entire life this year, I've rediscovered the value of simplicity, the small, good things that bring us joy, peace. The same goes for my karate, for budo, as I've realized what few methods I need - provided I use them correctly - to train appropriately. I am content to continue solo training for now, because a simple day containing simple training has been giving me focus like never before.
I can awake early to a calm New Mexican morning, have a cup of java, and step outside to the edge of a dense pine forest. There I have space to limber up, do a few exercises, then clear my mind and body with ten repetitions of a kata, maybe naihanchi or wansu. I can follow that with the focused practice of a couple waza on a makiwara, and then meditate. With that I am fully prepared to face another day, and know it will be a good one. To me, at this point in my life, that is wonderful karate, and good karatedo living.
Is that not budo training in its fundamental form?
I had a time when I was obsessed with learning new technique, studying new principles, swelling my personal library of karate and preparing for the next yudansha rank. That's well and good, but this new perspective of simplicity in budo brings me a different and better type of satisfaction from training - one that is more useful to me, for now. We are all so bogged down these days, the lovely brevity and stripped beauty of a single kata is all too easy to miss. And it is beautiful, and should inspire awe, both from the one who executes the movements, and from observing eyes.
Perhaps, when the opportunity is sought, I will continue formal dojo-training in a specific style, because it is important, it is crucial to the development of the karate-ka. I also just love a good dojo environment, and yearn for many of its aspects. I have access to an old training partner in town, one who has also drifted from the dojo, so I can pursue many areas of training requiring two bodies (kote kitae and bunkai-based kumite, mainly). But at this time and with no rush to change, I am content to be essentially without "style," without ryu, and to embrace the karate that is embedded in my body, learn from it, let it teach me and let it grow.
I am truly grateful for the nature of karate, in that I can take it with me anywhere. It will go with me everywhere I move, even into the dark pits of addiction and despair, and back to a state of peace.
For now I'll observe and read for a while, see what everyone's talking about these days, but I hope to be posting soon. Thanks to all who've maintained this great common space.
In budo,
Alex
