son + mcdojo=ahh

My 12 year old son has been taking TKD and im worried. He has been training in shotokan karate with me since he was 7, and he has very powerful kicks and punches for his age. His instructor is a nice guy and my son enjoys TKD more then shotokan, since im guessing its more "flashy", but the place seems to be a mcdojo to be honest. I don't want to dissapoint him by taking him out of the class, but the fact of the matter is that they award students simply by how long they have been going, and its utter and complete crap. I know my son is at least 3x as good as some of the brown/"black" belts, and he has only been there for about 2 months. He is a yellow belt now and i dont want to take him out simply because i think its a mcdojo, because i don't think he would fully understand, but at the same time i dont want him to stay and learn improperly if TKD is his thing. There aren't many TKD schools around here so im kind of beteween a rock and a hard place.

just a blind recommedation for that age group which happens to have prior karate/tkd training, but looking for a new place.

Introduce them to dissimilar arts - watch a judo, aikido or boxing class with him sometime and see what he thinks about trying a few classes.

Tough 1 here.

I think I agree with this advice. Maybe you look for another place & if you find a more wholesome school, sign him up, but then let him make the choice.
At that age, he might be happy, even though you are not. Thats just the way it works out, but it usually happens that way. In any event, talk to him about it. Good luck to both of you.

Hello Alphawolf:



Your question seems odd to me. Are you genuinely asking whether you should permit your son to learn something that you believe strongly is entirely worthless, and has no merit but, that he finds fun? Where is the rock OR the "hard place" in this decision? What am I missing...?

Pull him out...

Jeff

Perhaps it should be HIS choice which path HE chooses.... and for you to remain open to the possibility that he may one day return to the path you have opened for him (and kept open for him) since he was 7.

I've noted that TKD appeals to young people. It is a good workout, the kicking practice is strengthening, and often the dojos have larger and younger classes...and a good opportunity for socializing.

Like picking your son's friends...you can't say 'don't see this person anymore' and expect teenage compliance; they like who they like and given time they (hopefully) outgrow the ones that aren't good for them.

Besides...what is so great about Shotokan anyway? Be grateful he hasn't quit.

lol the reason he hasn't quit is because i am the one teaching him, he can't escape from home

Fatherly expectations aside, it would be unwise to force upon your son, what you wouldn't force upon your students - they should be free to choose (and in fact be encouraged to do so) whoever they train with.

But its not like hes taking his son there to socialise, hes taking him there to learn self defence, and I personally think that if thats the kind of school where nobody tries then it would be wise to take him to anoter school. i just know im gonna get flamed for this but it seems a waste of money to take him to a place where he learns nothing.

For what it is worth, I would sit him down, and talk to him about it. Explain your reasoning for wanting him to train somewhere else.

After that, leave the decision in his hands.

I know he is not an adult, but at one point or another, parents have to start to respect their children's decisions, whether they agree with them or not.

If you force him into a decision he doesnt want; force him to a training method or school he dislikes, for whatever reason, I think we both know that will turn out.

G

Why not sign him up to the forums and let him read through different posts? If you've been giving him training then he should be aware enough of his likes and dislikes. If he thinks he is leaning something constructive ask him to show you. Ultimately it should be your sons decision (for better or worse) where he wants to train.

easy ways to spot Mc Dojo:

1. drive thru window

2. option to receive promotions by purchasing tapes or videos in lieu of attending class

3. belt specials: "today we have a special on brown belts..."

4. pompoms, cheerleaders, way tooo smiley, hyper, happy, complementing atmosphere...

5. membership fees that resemble the health club format

6. more emphasis on marketing strategy and spin...merchandise overdrive... all the great add on supersize products in an onsite sports shop...when these things cash long shadows on actual instruction...be weary.

7. when via price comparison...you find the monthly rate for your child's martial arts class surpasses that of your nephew's tuition (including books an on site housing) at Stanford!

the list goes on...
sure everyone enjoys positive feedback from teachers, but...when promotions and awards/rewards come despite one's ability and fortitude or lack thereof...then...something is amiss.

being and having are distunctly different in martial arts... i often hear newer students ask... when do I get my ________belt? My answer is...today after class or tomorrow if you want...just go to "discount belts unlimited" located just a few blocks from us...and you can purchase any color/size belt or purchase several... for just $6.99 plus tax.
Here at our school we do not give or sell belts. Here we provide the means and method to become...not a belt...(which is only some dye and woven fibers) but to develop and grow within and without the parts of yourself that attracted you to the study of martial arts. Unlike school, there are no diplomas and timetables, no start and end date, no posted test scores or secondary schools or colleges... that you must endure to be considered worthy...there is only yourself.
For a sincere student... the end goal shouldn't be 'graduation'...this is difficult. It requires unlearning our carrot/jackass method, so well ingrained by the public school system, and really pursuing something reachable, real, and longlasting undeminished value. No tricks...bribes...snake-oil salesmen...

So I suppose helping your son see the ultimate value of what he is really getting out of the class might be a start.

If you discover that indeed, his preferred school is a mc Dojo...and he still insists that this is the one he wants... forcing him to quit...might instigate a power struggle...an alternative is to allow him to attend classes...but also allowing him to spend his own money to pay for them...
then we see where the rubber meets the road...I have tried this with my own daughter and found that when she pays for an item or activity herself, with her own allowance/money... she makes much more careful choices and is more fully committed.

Sorry I wrote a small novel...your post was inspiring!